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Guest071711 · 04-15-2011, 11:07 AM

Say you book an appointment with a provider.
You show up, and the provider invites you in,
but politely decides to cancel with something like
"I'm sorry, something came up" " I don't feel well" but the real reason of the cancelation is due to personal preferences (and you as a smart adult can pretty much sense this)

Would you prefer her to
A. Look through the window/peephole and not open the door?
B. Tell you, "I'm not interested due to personal preferences".
C. Or just keep it clean "im' sorry something came up" like I did to one gentleman?

If she cancels, are you gonna text her later asking "I'm not your type right"? knowing that was the issue?

Just want some opinions...

Marcus78 · 04-15-2011, 11:40 AM

I would want the provider to be honest with me if it is a race preference issue, which I think both Hobbyists and Providers are entitled to having. I would hope to clear it up with pre-screening. Basically, declare that you don't see men of X race/ethnicity.

If it is a hygiene issue, that could be tricky. You could insult someone, but it is important for them to realize they are olfactorily offensive. People could be nose-deaf and it may hurt in the short term, but could help them in their other hobby (and out of hobby) experiences! I'm assuming you have a shower in your incall, you could have them take a quick one before the session if possible.

If you are uncomfortable with someone (maybe they look shady, you get an eerie feeling, whatever) I would tell a lie, say an emergency came up and you have to go pick a friend up at the hospital/scene of a care wreck etc., apologize and leave it at that. If they are a board member, send a P.M. apologizing and if you don't want to see them again, ignore any future requests. I would probably be pissed with the outcome, but I know that on my first hobby attempt, I got a bad feeling going up to the room (two guys seemed to be staking out the door and watching me too much for my own comfort) I returned to my car, called her and said I apologize, but something came up.

You will take flak for the cancellation, but that is part of the game. You can always offer a rebuttal of what happened, and people will decide for themselves. But, if you are not comfortable with a guy, the session is going to SUCK!!! It will be awkward, uncomfortable and just unpleasant for both parties. If I were a provider, I would put my gut-instinct and safety above any reputation hits that I may incur, and deal with the fallout. Just my .02.
-Mark

canyonman · 04-15-2011, 11:51 AM

Simply... A provider has the right to cancel an appointment at any time.

Like Marcus said, if you are uncomfortable for whatever reason you say what you need to, to get out of the situation.

Gumbo · 04-15-2011, 11:55 AM

As with everything in life, honesty is usually the best policy. I would rather hear B) "I'm not interested due to personal preferences" than wonder what I, as a hobbyist, did wrong. It may offend some with thin skin, but I would rather know the truth and move on.

JSmith2010 · 04-15-2011, 12:00 PM

Oh, now I see what this is all about. You need to disclaim that you don't see AA men. Why don't you like AA men? I guess it gets tricky when you won't see mixed guys, or claim to know people's race when you obviously can only guess at best, or when you won't see someone you think is a quarter AA.

I've never understood it, but maybe I could understand if he actually was AA, but a quarter AA, I'm not even sure what that means, or why it's bad. We're all a quarter something or other.

DKB140 · 04-15-2011, 12:07 PM

If it's a race or weight issue, I think you should put it in your ad & not waste anyone's time. I've seen several ads that say "Sorry, no black men."

If it's hygine, I would ask them to take a shower: "Would you like to rinse off and freshen up?" I think most guys would take the hint but if not just tell them you would be more comfortable if they did or let them know there won't be any physical contact until they do.

If you don't feel safe with them then I wouldn't even open the door. Maybe just go to the bathroom, call, and tell them some emergency came up.

If that doesn't cover it, then what was it that made you uncomfortable with them?

Kroy · 04-15-2011, 12:33 PM

I prefer B so I don't leave all nervous about what might be going on.

juzmatt · 04-15-2011, 12:53 PM

I think that race and type preferences should be clearly put on the showcase and the ad as DKB mentioned. Also while booking an appointment, it should me made clear. This is better than calling the man home and then realizing, and later embarrassing the man and wasting his time.

Sonya Playmate · 04-15-2011, 12:58 PM

Molly si, you have every right to cancel apointment whenever you feel something is not right.

Yesterday I had a close friend text me asking me what race he looked. I said somewhere being hispanic mixed. Then he goes really..I asked him what race he was he's like hispanic. I was oh later he expained what happen. He was very disappointed what had happened.

Guest071711 · 04-15-2011, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by juzmatt

I think that race and type preferences should be clearly put on the showcase and the ad as DKB mentioned. Also while booking an appointment, it should me made clear. This is better than calling the man home and then realizing, and later embarrassing the man and wasting his time.

Yeah but I feel that its rude to specify things like that in your ad for the whole public to see!

However, thats not whatI asked in the original post

Guest071711 · 04-15-2011, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by canyonman

Simply... A provider has the right to cancel an appointment at any time.

Like Marcus said, if you are uncomfortable for whatever reason you say what you need to, to get out of the situation.

Thank you and it's not a perfect world therefor things like this happen to both the providers and hobbyists; I've been hassled and NCNS by men but i know that being in the hobby is ify at times. But I was simply respectful and polite.

The guy wrote a review when nothing happened BDC. What a tempure tantrum get back game! thats ridiculous!

At least put it in coed, men's area or even alert section if it hurt that bad. But a review with no BCD? Come on, give me a break.

JSmith2010 · 04-15-2011, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Miss Molly

Yeah but I feel that its rude to specify things like that in your ad for the whole public to see!

However, thats not whatI asked in the original post

Your post was vague when there was no reason to be vague, this is about race plain and simple.

It's rude to turn someone away when they've already been through all of the trouble to see you, if you don't want to put it in your ad state it clearly when discussing it over the phone.

JSmith2010 · 04-15-2011, 01:15 PM

You guys were BCD, or did you leave it open before you turned him away?

lol

Crispy1969 · 04-15-2011, 01:25 PM

This wouldn't be an Issue if during the Screening Process you asked: Age Weight Height Race. Then if the Gentleman doesn't meet your criteria then you can politely say "your all booked & when you have an opening you will call." That's way better than phone tag & having him drive over & wasting both his & your time since time is $$!!!

Guest071711 · 04-15-2011, 01:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Crispy1969

This wouldn't be an Issue if during the Screening Process you asked: Age Weight Height Race. Then if the Gentleman doesn't meet your criteria then you can politely say "your all booked & when you have an opening you will call." That's way better than phone tag & having him drive over & wasting both his & your time since time is $$!!!

Well some deny or try to hide it. I had a military guy do that to me. I asked his age weight height race and he told me he was latino. When he arrived, his mix was very very clear.