Ladies, Please explain it to the men that do not understand why you do not speak up at times.....

[Whispers]

Ladies

Most of these guys are clueless why you deal with things and never speak up.

You get hustled for freebies
You have your time taken advantage of
You get pressured for bareback
You find out during a session that against your wishes a condom was removed.
You get raped
You get beat
You get loved
You get stalked
You have your personal lives invaded for ugly reasons
You have your personal lives invaded simply because he likes you and wants to be your friend

Some report it as an alert

Some you share amongst yourselves

Some of it involves what I refer to as High Profile or Prominent Members or even MODs and in those cases many of you suffer it in silence.

I try to explain it at times. I actually do understand it from a time I worked supporting a Rape Crisis Center and a Battered Women's Shelter many years ago. I've had a lot of first hand meetings and discussions.

But please come forward....

Not with a specific story.... I'm not looking for details on any event or trying to start a witch hunt.... But I hear things all the time that you gals are afraid to speak up on.

But examples of what you get back from your peers as well as the guys on this site.

Tell us of the ugly things you hear and the threats that come from the guys that took advantage of or hurt you in some way.

Tell us about the PMs texts or emails from his friends you may have received.

Tell us about what you experience or others you know experience when they do come forward.

Tell us what it is like trying to get yourself heard that leads so many of you to never speak up.


Gentlemen.....

A suggestion......

If ladies will step up and share some of this.

Sit back and read. Leave this thread alone for a week. I've suggested more than once that men make comments that intimidate these ladies in a way that they will not share stuff.

I would like to ask the guys to reserve comments or questions on this thread until February 2nd. After that feel free to ask your questions and make your suggestions and tell them what they did wrong. They know you are not going to believe and they know you will give them some hell over it.... So give them a week to speak up....

Please


Once again Ladies.....
I am not looking for a specific story....
I'm not looking for details on any specific event
I'm not trying to start a witch hunt....

be generic with your examples

How many threads start around here where guys claim to want to know you, to understand you, that talk of treating you fairly and in a decent manner? Many of these guys are clueless to what you suffer.

[Guest062114-5]

I have seen many cases of ladies posting about a problem, only to be beat down with questions, insults, accusations and threats of loss of business.

While others may think I have no place to come to this forum and weigh in, I will tell you that I frequently get PMs from ladies in several cities to comment on a thread. Why? Because I am in the rare position to be able to give a ladies point of view while being immune from the bullies' threats of loss of business.

So, why is it that SOME guys really don't want to consider a ladies' point of view? I could make some (really horrible) assumptions, but I try not to do that.

[golfnwine]

What asses.

[mayorcastro]

I was surprised when a provider told me how many guys actually try to hustle for freebies.

[SweetCara]

I do not speak up against these people for several reasons. As LilMynx said, most get bombarded with questions, insults, etc. And THAT is the reason I do not speak up.
I recently had a gentleman take advantage of my time. P411 member AT THAT! With quite a few OKs. His references said he was fine. Yet, he SERIOUSLY took advantage of my time. He stayed almost an hour over his time. I am by no means a "clock watcher" but I do expect a gentleman to respect my time. I even told this gentleman this when he first walked in because his very first statement after saying "Hi" was "I cannot stand a provider that is a clock watcher, it's so impersonal". He ended up staying almost an hour over his time, and did not even offer to compensate me for that lost time. I told him several times during the visit that I needed to be somewhere else soon, and he just ignored me.
I also had a gentleman go well over his time because he couldn't "finish" and just wanted to keep going and going. I'm sorry, but as I tell everyone, the donation is for my time. I guess it's difficult for some to understand.
I'm not the type to say "Hey, GET OUT!" or "Too bad you didn't get yours but time is up". But after these incidents I will not be so nice if things like this happen again.
It really sucks that the few gentlemen that do not respect us ladies make it difficult for the TRUE gentlemen in this community.
But Whispers is right, most of us are afraid to speak up about these guys because believe it or not, most of these guys have a lot of reviews and OKs or references. And because of that fact alone, we get criticized, insulted and interrogated.

[JohnnyYanks]

Originally Posted by Whispers

... I've suggested more than once that men make comments that intimidate these ladies ...

This is odd. Are you that dissatisfied with your poll results that you now shamelessly chase the female vote?

Are you not on record in these forums as saying that ECCIE is for the ladies to be seen and not heard?

Or is that just a rumor that some member must have pm'd me? (Maybe it was several pm's?)

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by LilMynx69

I have seen many cases of ladies posting about a problem, only to be beat down with questions, insults, accusations and threats of loss of business.

While others may think I have no place to come to this forum and weigh in, I will tell you that I frequently get PMs from ladies in several cities to comment on a thread. Why? Because I am in the rare position to be able to give a ladies point of view while being immune from the bullies' threats of loss of business.

So, why is it that SOME guys really don't want to consider a ladies' point of view? I could make some (really horrible) assumptions, but I try not to do that.

Dudes smell vulnerable, basic, and lets call it not to intelligent whores a mile away. If some payed ass much attention to their business as they did the actual cash and kept their head up, alot of those things can be avoided. Sometimes people have to be shamed into "getting it". Sad but true.

most alert stories I read, I can trace the real problem back to the provider. It's either sometging she did or didn`t do that was not wise. and more often than not its the same ladies over and over. Wake the fuck up, grow some balls, and cut the damsel in distress shit. This is your life.

I, nor anyone else, is here to handle it for you..

[Guest062114-5]

Originally Posted by Luxury Daphne

Dudes smell vulnerable, basic, and lets call it not to intelligent whores a mile away. If some payed ass much attention to their business as they did the actual cash and kept their head up, alot of those things can be avoided. Sometimes people have to be shamed into "getting it". Sad but true.

most alert stories I read, I can trace the real problem back to the provider. It's either sometging she did or didn`t do that was not wise. and more often than not its the same ladies over and over. Wake the fuck up, grow some balls, and cut the damsel in distress shit. This is your life.

I, nor anyone else, is here to handle it for you..

I totally agree with your assessments about vulnerability and those ALERTS.

Oy! Those alerts! They make me want to pull my hair out.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Getting hustled for freebies, bareback, time taken advantage of, those are no board problems, because tgey were well within your control. Those are "you need to step your game up" problems. Now a psycho stalking you (and you don't owe him any money or playing games with him), outting, rape, and blackmail can be community issues.

[SweetCara]

I see your point Daphne. And it's a good one. However, when MY time was taken advantage of, as I clearly stated, I told the gentleman over and over again I needed to be somewhere. He obviously was not concerned, therefore I didn't want to piss him off by "growing balls" and MAKING him leave because I didn't want to take the chance of him becoming violent. Now, I'm not saying he would have. But you never know with some people.
As far as that not being "ALERT worthy", you are right about that. However, that is why us ladies have an INFOSHARE room. I firmly believe that if a lady has a problem with a gentleman wasting her time or taking advantage of her time then she should post it in the INFOSHARE room. Because I would like to NOT WASTE "MY" TIME on the same guy that wasted another ladies time. If they'll do it to one lady, they'll try to do it to another.
And I also do not believe it is a lady's fault if a guy wastes her time. Now, it WOULD be her fault if she allowed that SAME guy to come back and do the same thing all over again.
That is just my opinion on it.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Piss him off? Growing balls does not mean getting up in his face talking shit, or being rude. Its saying what you mean, and meaning what you say. If your time does not seem important to you, why would it be important to him. Growing balls means when you know you have to be somewhere else, he is over his time, and obviously taking advantage saying something like

" babe I like spending time with you but I have other commitments I have to handle. I see we lost track of time, but I have to get up and get ready in ___ minutes."

And get up when those minutes are up. He'll get it when you hand him a towel and his clothes. Trust me, I've done it too many times for those who want to go over when I have made it clear that I am on a schedule.

If you are worried about offending someone into getting violent, you A. need to be ready to defend yourself.... B. have something waiting for his ass if you have to.

like I said, most problems with hobbyists do not begin with the hobbyist. He will only do what you let him think he can get away with, and what you allow.

This shit ain't rocket science.

Ijs

[Slave Guinevere]

Originally Posted by Luxury Daphne

Dudes smell vulnerable, basic, and lets call it not to intelligent whores a mile away. If some payed ass much attention to their business as they did the actual cash and kept their head up, alot of those things can be avoided. Sometimes people have to be shamed into "getting it". Sad but true.

most alert stories I read, I can trace the real problem back to the provider. It's either sometging she did or didn`t do that was not wise. and more often than not its the same ladies over and over. Wake the fuck up, grow some balls, and cut the damsel in distress shit. This is your life.

I, nor anyone else, is here to handle it for you..

LD…

Will you MARRY ME?

OR at least take SERIOUS ADVANTAGE OF ME?

Your adoring slave,

Guinevere

P.S.

God, I love a STRONG BLACK WOMAN!!

[GinaXXX]

Originally Posted by Luxury Daphne

Piss him off? Growing balls does not mean getting up in his face talking shit, or being rude. Its saying what you mean, and meaning what you say. If your time does not seem important to you, why would it be important to him. Growing balls means when you know you have to be somewhere else, he is over his time, and obviously taking advantage saying something like

" babe I like spending time with you but I have other commitments I have to handle. I see we lost track of time, but I have to get up and get ready in ___ minutes."

And get up when those minutes are up. He'll get it when you hand him a towel and his clothes. Trust me, I've done it too many times for those who want to go over when I have made it clear that I am on a schedule.

If you are worried about offending someone into getting violent, you A. need to be ready to defend yourself.... B. have something waiting for his ass if you have to.

like I said, most problems with hobbyists do not begin with the hobbyist. He will only do what you let him think he can get away with, and what you allow.

This shit ain't rocket science.

Ijs

OMG.... I love me some Daphne! This is one smart chickadee....

Always,
Gina

[SweetCara]

I will have to remember that statement for next time. If what I do doesn't work, I'm open to trying something different. However, I assume my getting up, showering, putting my clothes on and gathering my things along with my car keys WHILE telling him in a polite way I had to be somewhere was being assertive enough. Obviously, it wasn't for him. I did leave out the fact that he was drinking and being a bit obnoxious, which is where my statement about "growing balls" and telling him to leave came from. In my experience, drunk, obnoxious people can become violent very easily.
And defending myself against a gentleman such as this one was not an option. I'm a tiny little girl, and also not a fighter. I avoid confrontation as often as possible.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

I have never had anyone refuse to leave when I got up, handed him his shit, and said its time to go, so I do not know about that one...

You can choose to be "tiny" and defenseless if you want.. And let that be your crux.. Let me know how that works out for you...

In any case, good luck sweets.

On another note, people talk down on pimps, but some whores need a pimp. To save them from themselves. Not all, but some.

Gina, part of my hobby common sense, I learned from you. Thanks for not only providing a great service, but being a phenomenal voice of reason. xoxo