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orimagnus · 07-28-2012, 09:03 AM

Okay guys, here's the dilemma. I have a provider that I have seen several times, and planned on seeing many more. However, I recently discovered that menu items that were stated as being "off limits" my first visit, have started to show up in reviews. At no time during subsequent visits, has there been mention that the menu has changed. Nor have any of these activities been initiated or even suggested by said provider. Gentlemen, what is your take on this? Should I be offended? Are the reviews perhaps embellished a bit, in hopes that the reviewer will get some kind of "kickback" for making the provider seem more alluring to newbies? I've sensed a kinship with this one since day one, and frankly, any attempt to find greener grass on the other side of the fence has left me disappointed. In her own words, she's quite fond of me and enjoys our time together. Yes, all part of the script, I know. But I'm not rude, dirty, smelly, or offensive in any other way, to my knowledge. We always have good conversation and some laughs, and I've not once felt rushed or like an inconvenience. Is this just the classic manipulation, trolling for regulars by telling a repeat client what they want to hear, to keep them coming back? Have any of you had a similar experience? If so, how did you address it? It's not that these menu items are a make or break thing. They're almost insignificant. But they would be a fun garnish from time to time. I guess part of me just wants to be in the club too. Still fairly new at this so any advice from the old hands would be appreciated. Thanks.

Echoplex · 07-28-2012, 09:08 AM

I wouldn't be offended. Don't create drama in what should be a drama free relationship. Instead, the next time you see her just ask. Nothing wrong in my opinion asking if her menu has expanded based on recent reviews and you'd be interested in expanding on those with her.

It's possible she has expanded her menu but because you guys are regulars, it probably doesn't even cross her mind that you would be interested in expanding on those 'garnishments'. If you are truly comfortable laughing and talking with her, communication is key in any relationship. Just ask. Don't be offended without talking to her first.

orimagnus · 07-28-2012, 09:24 AM

Thank you, sir. Maybe offended was too strong. But hopefully everyone catches my drift. It's definitely nothing that has kept me up nights, nor has it swayed my interest in future visits. Communication is key, indeed. I just had my reservations about seeming "whiny", which is not my intended angle at all. I'll just have to come up with a way to broach the topic that still feels appropriate and innocuous to me. I have no intention or desire to offend or otherwise make anyone uncomfortable. Thanks again for the reply.

Omahan · 07-28-2012, 10:46 AM

If you talk to her about her reviews be careful that you don't reveal any ROS information.

orimagnus · 07-28-2012, 11:23 AM

Thank you for the reminder, Omahan. I've lurked around the forums enough to know that is a no-no. No premium access for me yet though. Guess I should start reviewing or pay up.

KCQuestor · 07-28-2012, 12:34 PM

You also might want to read the YMMV thread we just had:
http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=497686

And UniqueMonique had some suggestions that may open up more options during a session:
http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=495797

Not to say that any of this applies to you specifically, but it always makes me think.

When a guy complains that he gets CBJ while other guys get BBBJ, does he have a stinky dick? Does he have sores or bumps or whatever?
No DFK for you? Maybe check your breath, or your attitude.
No Greek? Maybe you were too rough, or just plain too big.

But if you are sure that it is none of those things, just ask her. Don't be confrontational.

"I was reading a review on ECCIE the other day and it mentioned that you did ______. I really like that. Is it still off limits?"

Guest082513-02 · 07-28-2012, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KCQuestor

When a guy complains that he gets CBJ while other guys get BBBJ, does he have a stinky dick? Does he have sores or bumps or whatever?
No DFK for you? Maybe check your breath, or your attitude.
No Greek? Maybe you were too rough, or just plain too big.

But if you are sure that it is none of those things, just ask her. Don't be confrontational.

"I was reading a review on ECCIE the other day and it mentioned that you did ______. I really like that. Is it still off limits?"

EXACTLY!!!

There are a few things I wont do unless youre a regular.. and even then.. I may not. Like FIV... sorry... a few bad apples ruin that when they thought a woman needed to be pounded like a jackhammer with long nails!!

Guest102513-1 · 07-28-2012, 01:56 PM

All above comments are solid

But if you truly think that you have an open line of communication (emphasis on think), for gosh sakes just ask her. This isn't (or at least shouldn't be) high school stuff, where you ask "the boys in the lockerroom" what you should do.

Be an adult, and diplomaticaly ask her whatever questions you have of her. Her reviews could be incorrect, or maybe things between you, aren't what you think....

As an old buddy of mine used to say..."we are searching for pussy, not acting like a pussy".

And, btw, good luck

Guest052813-01 · 07-28-2012, 02:15 PM

There's nothing wrong with communicating. If there's something you really want to try, just ask. If it's a show-stopper for her, I'm sure she'll provide an explanation - and don't be offended by her explanation - accept it and move on.

ss4699 · 07-28-2012, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Omahan

If you talk to her about her reviews be careful that you don't reveal any ROS information.

Quote:

Originally Posted by fritz3552

There's nothing wrong with communicating. If there's something you really want to try, just ask. If it's a show-stopper for her, I'm sure she'll provide an explanation - and don't be offended by her explanation - accept it and move on.

So as long as you don't say I heard it through the "grapevine", you could ask for any service by saying, "Now that I have seen you a few times, would you consider doing ......?"

http://youtu.be/hajBdDM2qdg

myfiat · 07-28-2012, 05:54 PM

any kinship you feel with her is in YOUR head. it's a business transaction for her. if she's offering more to others, it's because it's financially rewarding for her to do so. wake up, you're just a source of income for her.

orimagnus · 07-28-2012, 06:34 PM

Thanks for the links, KCQuestor. I had read through both of those over the last few days, but appreciate the input nonetheless. I do suppose it could be a ymmv thing not directly related to hygiene, as I make it priority one to go down the checklist before each and every visit. I certainly appreciate the sacrifices that providers make so us, the hobbyists, can find that occasional oasis in this desert of stress. And I can't fault a lady for making a judgement call based on her safety or comfort level. I had planned on bringing this up. Just didn't want to inadvertently put anyone on the spot. So no worries about being confrontational. That's certainly not my style. I guess I was more curious if anyone had dealt with anything similar. I do appreciate all the replies though. Thanks again.

myfiat, kinship as in chemistry, a good connection, easy conversation, etc. That kind of scenario has not seemed to be the norm for me in the hobby, so far. Kind of like that one or two people at work that you actually enjoy the company of aside from the ones you're forced to associate with. I'm wide awake. But I thank you for checking.

vkmaster, your buddy's quote is a keeper for sure! Good one!

Guest082513-02 · 07-28-2012, 06:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by myfiat

any kinship you feel with her is in YOUR head. it's a business transaction for her. if she's offering more to others, it's because it's financially rewarding for her to do so. wake up, you're just a source of income for her.

wow. so wrong.

The DarkSide · 07-28-2012, 07:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orimagnus

Thanks for the links, KCQuestor. I had read through both of those over the last few days, but appreciate the input nonetheless. I do suppose it could be a ymmv thing not directly related to hygiene, as I make it priority one to go down the checklist before each and every visit. I certainly appreciate the sacrifices that providers make so us, the hobbyists, can find that occasional oasis in this desert of stress. And I can't fault a lady for making a judgement call based on her safety or comfort level. I had planned on bringing this up. Just didn't want to inadvertently put anyone on the spot. So no worries about being confrontational. That's certainly not my style. I guess I was more curious if anyone had dealt with anything similar. I do appreciate all the replies though. Thanks again.

myfiat, kinship as in chemistry, a good connection, easy conversation, etc. That kind of scenario has not seemed to be the norm for me in the hobby, so far. Kind of like that one or two people at work that you actually enjoy the company of aside from the ones you're forced to associate with. I'm wide awake. But I thank you for checking.

vkmaster, your buddy's quote is a keeper for sure! Good one!

Orimagnus don't pay attention to myfiat, he must have been dropped on his head when he was young or eating lead chips. Keep doing what you do and have fun and possibly having your ATF expand her menu!

KenMonk · 07-28-2012, 08:56 PM

You don't even have to mention you gained the knowledge from a review. During the first few minutes of the session, like during cuddle/petting to get warmed up mention you want to try something new. She may say yes, she may say no, but you asked.

Also YMMV during EVERY session even if you have see the same lady several times. This has been brought up in a number of threads and it can't be stated enough. Just because she doesn't do something for you, it doesn't mean shes completely lying and doesn't enjoy her time with you.

On another note, what myfait says does hold some value. Some ladies are only in it for the dollar and gents are nothing but a source of income to some. I don't know your situation, but I have dealt with ladies like this first hand. They run their game, do as little as possible for the most they can get and then do what they can to get rid of you. Sooner or later you will be on the blunt end of that hammer and it sucks when it happens. If it happens too much you becomes jaded like some guys here, but not all of the ladies are like that.