Acquiescence (ac·qui·es·cence)
- the reluctant acceptance of something without protest. -
Synonyms: accept, consent to, agree to, allow, concede, assent to, concur with, give the nod to
______________________________ _______________________
Well, I guess you are all wondering why I called you here today lol...
For the last six months or so I have had a heavy burden weighing on my conscience. It comes and goes in waves, but each time the message is the same loud and clear, "
It's Time To Make The Change". In this context, please understand/know, I solely mean the "right thing" for me, and my personal Journey in my Life.
I have been struggling for the last four days about how to broach this subject. I have been worrying and stressing about how this information will be perceived. I have been very sad as this is a huge loss for me as anyone would feel when a part of their life is stripped away from them. This is extremely hard for me to do, but I feel it is something I need to do now.
I want everyone to know that I do
NOT judge anyone for any decisions they make or do not make. Nor do I feel like the choices that are Good for me will also be right for everyone else. My Journey with God is mine, and mine alone. Things that God may place on my heart to Change He may not place on anyone else heart. Each of our Spiritual walks with God is as different and unique as a beautiful winter snow flake. Each of us gets to make and shape our very own Code of Ethics. What may be good/right for me, may not be good/right for anyone else.
I am prepared and ready for the aftermath of my decision, and it is something that I feel I need to do now for the sake of myself, my Joy and my Peace. I should have done it six months ago, but I chose to battle with it instead. Somehow I thought if I didn't think about it or address it, that it would somehow magically go away. I am a stubborn mule that will fight to the death, but in the end (
at least with me) God always wins lol.
I
NEED to make this decision so that I can
(1) move forward with God (
my Spiritual Journey)
and (2) return the deeper levels of Peace and Joy in my Life that have been lacking due to my disobedience to what God has been asking me to do for the last six to eight months.
So without further ado, I must inform you all that I am no longer seeing any married men. This is a personal decision that I feel is right only for me. I do not expect anyone else to follow suit. I do
NOT judge or look down on anyone that is
(1) a married man
OR (2) a provider who sees married men. That is your decision to make for your own personal self, and I in no way would ever want to interject myself into your Journey with God (
Higher Power). You do what feels right for you, and I will do what feels right for me. That way we can ALL still live in Harmony.
Again I want to state clearly that I do not think bad or negative about any man that steps out on his marriage. That is a personal decision between that man, and that man alone. I have no judgment against him. Also I do not think badly or negative about any escort that chooses to see married men. That is her personal decision, and hers alone. I only get to make the choices for me and my Life, and trust me that keeps me busy enough just trying to keep up with my own self lol.
I in no way judge or look down on anyone for any decision they make because you are your own master. I am only responsible for myself, and for what God asks from me. So please know that this is my personal choice, and have no animosity or ill feelings towards anyone else in the hobby world. This may be a hard concept for some of you to understand, but please know that I have been working on myself for 5 years now. I am able to realize that each one of us is guided by different rules and regulations as it pertains to our relationship with God. What He asks of me, He may not ask of anyone else. I do not judge anyone on how they live their Life. I am only responsible for how I live my Life.
I would have made this decision 6 months ago, and a few days ago I realized that the ONLY thing keeping me from making this change was money. One little (
HUGE lol) thing... Money. I at this point in my Life can no longer choose my love of money over my relationship with God, my Peace and my Joy. They are worth far more to me than money.
This is so hard as money is the driving force behind ALL that we do. It is how we are able to live our lives. It is the backbone to our very existence. Even still... I do
NOT want money to be the one thing that holds me back from what God has in store for me in the future. To miss out on even one moment of my Life would be a catastrophe of epic proportions. So I am making the decision to do what is asked of me, even if I am afraid and unsure. I guess that's what they mean by having "blind Faith" lol. No one ever said this was going to be easy lol.
My personal decision is only subject to actively married men. If you are going through a divorce, and you two live in separate housing arrangements then I will happily see you anytime. I am still very open to seeing couples, and also doing Doubles with another escort as long as the gentleman in the middle of our naked sandwich is not married.
In addition, I will still give you an Awesome reference if I have seen you before so please do not worry that you can't use me for a reference now or in the future.
Please note that from this day forward I will be asking everyone that contacts me if they are married before I will set up a day and time to get together. I hope that everyone will be honest with me in their answer.
This decision of mine only applies to married men who live with their wives. The only exception to this would be if I knew your wife, knew that you had an open marriage and she would not be upset to know that you were seeing me. Rarely have I ever met any of these type of women, but they do exist lol. Out of the seven years of having Fun in the hobby world, I only know of one man I currently see that fits this bill lol. Not sure what kind of percentage that comes out to be, lol, but it's definitely a super small fraction lol.
I have attempted to justify seeing married men in the past, and have been pretty successful at stuffing my convictions away. However, recently this personal guilt has come front and center into my awareness finding myself unable to hide it any longer. I would never get involved with a married man outside of the hobby, but yet I would happily see a married man inside the hobby. The only thing altering my decision was green paper.
I feel like Jesus asked me a few thought provoking questions. He first asked, "You wouldn't offer illicit drugs to an innocent person for free would you?" I quickly answered, "No, of course not." He then asked, "You wouldn't sell illicit drugs to an innocent person would you?" I immediately answered again, "No, of course not." He then reiterated, "So for money or no money, you would not give illicit drugs to anyone under any circumstance?" I paused for a moment, and it hit me like a ton of bricks that money should not be the tool that I use to justify anything I decide to do. I reluctantly replied, "No. I see now what you are trying to do here. I hear you loud and clear. In fact I have heard you loud and clear for the last six months" In a gentle voice I begin to hear a phrase repeating itself as it fades out into the distance, "Make "The" Change"...
As a good friend's mother used to say, "
What May Be Right Today May Not Be Right Tomorrow, But That It Makes It No Less Right Now."
Married gentlemen I apologize to you sincerely, especially the regulars that I have had the pleasure of spending time with for many, many years. I care for you so deeply, and this leaves me feeling a bit confused, saddened and disoriented. I find myself fearful and worried to be making such a radical decision/change. I ponder profusely if any other escort has ever made this same decision in the past, and what was her future outcome. This is as weird for me, as it is for you lol. However with me...
Change is always Indicative of my Life.
Even while this fear is almost completely paralyzing me, I am still Choosing to take the courageous step to do the very thing I Fear. I must listen to my own personal Conscience, add in the "X" factor (
the unknown factor), and enter the field of Infinite Possibilities (
move forward in my Spiritual Journey). I have four major emotions taking place inside myself now: Fear, Sadness, Relief (
Peace) and Excited Curiosity for the future.
I have no way of knowing how this will all turn out. It could be an utter disaster, or it could turn out to be a Life altering decision that propels me into the next stage of my personal Growth, Spiritual Maturity and Healing. I may go completely broke, lose everything and find myself standing in the very line at the place where I volunteer for the homeless. I may end up making more than I ever have before. Everyone may choose to hate me, and turn against me shunning me from the hobby world. I may be embraced kindly by most for standing up for my personal beliefs and convictions. I may find that the hobby world no longer serves me, and I move on to another career. I may find that I am more happy and content in the hobby than I have been in the last seven years of escorting. I have no way of knowing except to Live it now, and find out first hand.
Who knows what the future holds, but only God himself? I always voice that I live for the unknown. Well now here I find myself marching forward into uncharted and dangerous territory. This is exhilarating and frightening all at the same time. I can do this! I am Confident! Failure is only possible when one is too afraid to try something new and risky.
I take a deep breath assuring myself this is the right path to take in order to achieve access to the next level in my Life's Journey. There is no other way. As much as I want to avoid this decision, I know it has to be made eventually. I must give this new direction a whirl now.
Be Brave, Be Strong and Forage on little girl.
Thank you all for your attention, consideration and time.
XoXo Dahlia Urban XoXo
"And It's Hard To Dance With A Devil On Your Back, So Shake Him Off" (Shake It Out by Florence and The Machine)
Shake It Out (
by Florence and The Machine)
*NEW RATES:*
>-Outcall-< (Kansas City Metro Area)
$250 (Hour) / $350 (90 Minutes) / $450 (2 Hours)
>-Incall-< (Kansas City Metro Area)
$350 (Hour) / $450 (90 Minutes) / $550 (2 hours)
If I Wasn't Controversial... Who Would I Be?
