Some Thoughts on Some of the Responses to Ashlee's Alert Thread

[Chevalier]

Originally Posted by ShysterJon

But if I read two competing versions of an event and one makes more logical sense to me than the other

But how often does that happen? Alas, the vast majority of stories posted on a SJMB are incoherent and/or scanty on details, such that it is extremely difficult to assess whether the story makes logical sense. People rarely remember that their audience is not as familiar with the situation, and without that context and details, what is clear to the speaker/writer may not be to the audience. Not to mention that I am old, jaded, and cynical, and realize that even those who are not deliberately lying may be subconsciously "spinning" the story or leaving out inconvenient details. And in many cases we don't ever hear the other side of the story, so we have nothing to compare it to.

If I knew the people involved, sure, I would likely have a clear opinion, one way or another, about the story. But I'm a recluse and know few people well enough for such a judgment. So in most cases, all I can do is scratch my head and conclude that I have no real basis for disbelieving or believing the story.

I could ask questions to clarify or elicit additional details, but that's rarely productive, not to mention the risk of getting slapped down as an insensitive interrogator. So I usually don't. I neither conclude the poster is lying/wrong nor believe the story as gospel. I simply treat it as a nullity and forget it, as though it had never been posted. Anyway, it's almost never important whether I believe or disbelieve the story. Even if I did decide one way or another, there's no need for me to announce it. If I have no more facts than anyone else, they would be fools to substitute my judgment for theirs.

[N.B. This is a general observation, not about this specific situation. I don't know Ashlee and don't remember anything about her story.]

[N.B. 2 If there's an "extreme blowhard" prize, there might be a more fitting name for it than the "Cliff Claven Award." Modesty forbids my saying anything further. ]

[ShysterJon]

Originally Posted by rummerpaul

If we want to get psychological (myself with no specific textbook knowledge of such things or desire to quote such knowledge); What i DO know is that someone who has experienced an event as traumatic as this (essentially abducted, raped and abused by a man threatening to kill or hurt himself) TYPICALLY does not have a strong desire to jump on a computer shortly after and recall the events at hand in explicit detail. This would essentially be re-living the experience all over again. Such details usually must be coaxed out of a victim of such a horrible experience.

I completely disagree. My practical experience over 24 years is that most crime victims want to immediately tell someone what happened to them as a way of purging themself of the pain of the experience.

[TheBizzer]

N.B. 2 If there's an "extreme blowhard" prize, there might be a more fitting name for it than the "Cliff Claven Award." Modesty forbids my saying anything further.

I knew it! Chevalier is John Ratzenberger! John Ratzenberger is Chevalier!
Consider yourself outed, sir.

[ShysterJon]

Originally Posted by Chevalier

But how often does that happen? Alas, the vast majority of stories posted on a SJMB are incoherent and/or scanty on details, such that it is extremely difficult to assess whether the story makes logical sense.

Probably nearly never here. Your question made me realize that about the only time I tend to read a "he said, she said" thread here is when I'm involved -- meaning I'm posting in the thread, I hope in a lucid way.

(As an aside, WTF does 'SJMB' stand for? I'd guess the 'MB' stands for 'message board.' I ran 'SJMB' through Urban Dictionary and didn't get a hit. Are you such a recluse that you have the time to invent endless, obscure abbreviations? Haha.)

[N.B. 2 If there's an "extreme blowhard" prize, there might be a more fitting name for it than the "Cliff Claven Award." Modesty forbids my saying anything further. ]

You mean it should it be the "Jarod Award" instead?

[Chevalier]

Originally Posted by ShysterJon

As an aside, WTF does 'SJMB' stand for?

Have you seen the acronym SHMB used around here? SJMB is sort of the mirror image -- seemed at least as appropriate, if not more so.

Originally Posted by ShysterJon

Are you such a recluse that you have the time to invent endless, obscure abbreviations?

Yep, pretty much. But "endless"? This is only the second one I recall ever inventing . . . . No matter, they never catch on.

Edited to add: Oops! Make that three. YOMV, CASG, and SJMB. (Someone once attributed WALDT to me, but it was actually invented by Go4it.)

[ShysterJon]

Originally Posted by Chevalier

Have you seen the acronym SHMB used around here? SJMB is sort of the mirror image -- seemed at least as appropriate, if not more so.

Okay, now I get it. Funny. Not.

[am-a-pleaser]

Originally Posted by Kayleehotchick

I say this not only for Ashlee's sake but for any victim of rape. Most local women center has low cost or free rape crisis counseling.

http://www.womenscenter.info/

http://irvingwiki.cityofirving.org/i...-Dallas_County

As a former rape crisis center board director, I can say the people there also have connections to other professionals that can help. The volunteers, the medical community, legal, counselors, etc.

Rape is a violent crime. The torture and trauma that Ashlee went through is terrifying. It has an impact that lasts forever.

In the civie world and in this realm, I have had ladies meet me for a first date as an overnighter. I've also taken a trip with a lady as a first date. Ladies must always be aware of everything. Guys must be aware of the ladies perspectives.

As a respectful hobbiest, awful events that are encountered need to be made in the open discussion forums. It helps all of us remember the perspectives of others. Helps in understanding. It helps to make eventual encounters with each other better.

I have very strong opinions regarding violent abusers. I think they should be tortured.

[Introuble]

If it happened I feel sorry for both parties.
If it didn't happen I feel sorry for both parties.

The one thing I have learned in this sick hobby is generally speaking I do not believe anything anyone says.....that way you are never surprised or caught off guard. I just want to see her again.

[Tony Gambino]

Originally Posted by Introuble

If it happened I feel sorry for both parties.
If it didn't happen I feel sorry for both parties.

The one thing I have learned in this sick hobby is generally speaking I do not believe anything anyone says.....that way you are never surprised or caught off guard. I just want to see her again.

It did happen and the perp killed Himself, when legit members get involved that should be a tip off. SJ really showed His true character here and deserves a lot of credit...SJ and Myself haven't always been on the same page....but He earned My respect with His handling of this situation.
Matter of fact...He's My new favorite liberal....because His intent is good, and that says a lot about a Man...

[Introuble]

SJ is usually pretty spot on. For the record, I was not suggesting that the event happened or did not happen but rather making a statement about the overall honesty of the hobby. Usually in the "he said, she said" issues, it is a lose/lose outcome. I had not heard that he killed himself. If that is true, I still feel sorry for both parties.