Referral faux pas?

[oliassunhillow]

There is an ECCIE provider that I have contacted to arrange an appointment who has asked for referrals first. Fair enough.

I then contacted a couple of other providers that I've seen previously (BP girls) to ask if they would be comfortable if I passed along their number so she could contact them. First, the girls didn't know what a referral was, and second, they acted like I had asked a strange or inappropriate question. They didn't come out and say it, but that was the vibe I got.

I'm fairly new to hobbying. I like to think I do my research and read up to avoid making a fool out of myself, and I pride myself on treating the girls with respect and dignity, but I wasn't expecting their reaction, especially considering that an awful lot of provider ads specify they want referrals, sometimes multiples. I kind of assumed this was a common thing amongst providers.

What's everyone else's views/experiences when asking a provider to provide referrals? I'm especially curious to hear any thoughts from the girls.

[cowboy8055]

Most providers on BP don't use referrals. That's something you see used more with verified providers on ECCIE. I would imagine many of the gals on ECCIE wouldn't likely accept referrals from BP providers.

[vern0064]

Originally Posted by cowboy8055

Most providers on BP don't use referrals. That's something you see used more with verified providers on ECCIE. I would imagine many of the gals on ECCIE wouldn't likely accept referrals from BP providers.

That is true verified providers usually dont want to deal with BP girls. Once you establish yourself here it is much easier to get a verified provider to see you with out most of the refferal issues getting in the way.

[Lexxxy]

Most girls that are just on BP are there for a reason. Some dont like sharing "their clients". Some will even make up lies about a Gent because they dont want him having other options. The BP wenches in Erie do that. I only recently started allowing a select few BP references because they are sweet honest Ladies

[vern0064]

Originally Posted by Lexxxy

Most girls that are just on BP are there for a reason. Some dont like sharing "their clients". Some will even make up lies about a Gent because they dont want him having other options. The BP wenches in Erie do that.

I think you hit the nail on the head Lexxy!!!

[oliassunhillow]

Originally Posted by Lexxxy

Most girls that are just on BP are there for a reason. Some dont like sharing "their clients". Some will even make up lies about a Gent because they dont want him having other options. The BP wenches in Erie do that. I only recently started allowing a select few BP references because they are sweet honest Ladies

I find some of the cultural norms around this field endlessly fascinating. I would never expect that a provider would be possessive of clients. In fact, I would expect exactly the opposite. If a client paid good money for an escort's services, why wouldn't she expect he's doing the same with others? This is why BBFS is such a no-go, right?

People are weirdos.

[Frankie Fine]

I do not mind giving referrals. I always try to take care of them first on my list.

[offshoredrilling]

Originally Posted by oliassunhillow

I find some of the cultural norms around this field endlessly fascinating. I would never expect that a provider would be possessive of clients. In fact, I would expect exactly the opposite. If a client paid good money for an escort's services, why wouldn't she expect he's doing the same with others? This is why BBFS is such a no-go, right?

People are weirdos.

Possessive is now that way in the bar, and some strippers. Did not use to be that way. One bar provider was getting very possessive of a few clients that one client no longer wanted to bother with her. She was getting a bet pushy with me also.

With one I had to pull the I'm all ready feeding other providers cash tight your out. She did not come near me for a month. Now its she walks up says hi and gives me a kiss. then goes away. Some times I buy her a drink to keep getting the kissing.

so I ask for something not on the menu. One guy that does not show up every week and I think still want to be bother by her some took the here's a fin, go away. Working for him so far but that could backfire. The last guy took the all out highest risk route that almost never fails. Asked her to move in and have his rug rats. It worked. this time.

At one strip club if I ask for a lap dance. They always ask permission from one I known for a long time WTF. There was another that wanted all my lap dance cash. We started calling each others bluff. We are not at I can stand at the stage but she never gets near me. So after getting passed a few time. I walk keeping the buck. its a game.

[HDrider97]

P411 has been good to me for "referrals" plus

[SweetElizabeth]

Originally Posted by oliassunhillow

What's everyone else's views/experiences when asking a provider to provide referrals? I'm especially curious to hear any thoughts from the girls.

I offer referrals to gents I have seen recently.

I accept referrals ONLY from some ladies. The reason for this:
Scenario
Man sees a BP advertiser.
BP advertiser gets busted because she didn't screen well.
Advertiser sets the guy up/guy trips himself up on LE questioning when he leaves because he didn't stay quiet.
Man wants to save his career and family so he says he will cooperate in any way, including setting up other Ladies like on ECCIE

Scenario
Provider providing referral and gent trying to visit with me are actually LE.

Originally Posted by Lexxxy
Most girls that are just on BP are there for a reason. Some dont like sharing "their clients

I think this not liking to share is true for advertising ladies at many places, not just BP.



Sometimes my screening is super easy. If you have seen and reviewed Ladies who I know would never allow a fake review, you're in like Flynn.

I think the boards are different from BP in that they require a lot more maintenance from the ladies.

OP, if you break the business down into groupings, that may help you to understand different frames of mind, although each woman is an individual and creates their own rules.

1. trafficked woman. Obviously no screening by her. She is a victim.
2. Full fledged street walkers - I haven't visited the major city streets full time, but I imagine they go with their gut a lot, and get to know which cars and gents are regularly picking up other streetwalkers frequently. (If walking, the same would apply I believe.) Not that I have thought about trying it, but I have! That's what I would do.
3. The occasional provider- has another job, or doesn't work. Sometimes the housekeeper, sometimes uses BP, or sometimes is known for working with an established Lady. If working with someone else, she typically is out of the screening process. If BP or a housekeeper, YMMV with her screening knowledge and requirements.
4. Ad posters- these ladies can be well established or an extension from BP. Again, YMMV. You may encounter very knowledgeable ladies, and others not so much.
5. Board posters- Most ladies who post boards are interested in what they do and staying safe. I believe there are more ladies that screen in this category, also more knowledgeable on the industry, and more willing to provide references. Again, though, YMMV with any one provider at any level of providing.

We are all providers. We are all different. We all have different scenes.



This industry is learned, the same with the Hobby.

Good luck!!

[Lexxxy]

Very well said and I am in the same boat. Some bitch and moan and freak out over my screening, some say it was the easiest ever, and some I just do my own screening without having to ask them a single question. It is all in who they see, reviews they post, and the way they handle themselves on the board.
I just had someone threaten to trash me in the men's room and write me a bad review because I refused to see him in Rochester. He had shady BP only references, was an ass in a few posts, and I don't like the way he depicts women in his reviews. All I have to say is bring it little man. I'm not scared Back on subject, I suggest becoming active on the board and review. Think of the tone in which you say things about and to women. If you meet a Lady and her face is crypt keeper you can come out and say very mature or be an ass and close some doors for yourself by saying old as dirt. There are ways to say what you mean without being classless and hurtful. Women who run an actual business look at these things.

Originally Posted by SweetElizabeth

I offer referrals to gents I have seen recently.

I accept referrals ONLY from some ladies. The reason for this:
Scenario
Man sees a BP advertiser.
BP advertiser gets busted because she didn't screen well.
Advertiser sets the guy up/guy trips himself up on LE questioning when he leaves because he didn't stay quiet.
Man wants to save his career and family so he says he will cooperate in any way, including setting up other Ladies like on ECCIE

Scenario
Provider providing referral and gent trying to visit with me are actually LE.

Originally Posted by Lexxxy
Most girls that are just on BP are there for a reason. Some dont like sharing "their clients

I think this not liking to share is true for advertising ladies at many places, not just BP.



Sometimes my screening is super easy. If you have seen and reviewed Ladies who I know would never allow a fake review, you're in like Flynn.

I think the boards are different from BP in that they require a lot more maintenance from the ladies.

OP, if you break the business down into groupings, that may help you to understand different frames of mind, although each woman is an individual and creates their own rules.

1. trafficked woman. Obviously no screening by her. She is a victim.
2. Full fledged street walkers - I haven't visited the major city streets full time, but I imagine they go with their gut a lot, and get to know which cars and gents are regularly picking up other streetwalkers frequently. (If walking, the same would apply I believe.) Not that I have thought about trying it, but I have! That's what I would do.
3. The occasional provider- has another job, or doesn't work. Sometimes the housekeeper, sometimes uses BP, or sometimes is known for working with an established Lady. If working with someone else, she typically is out of the screening process. If BP or a housekeeper, YMMV with her screening knowledge and requirements.
4. Ad posters- these ladies can be well established or an extension from BP. Again, YMMV. You may encounter very knowledgeable ladies, and others not so much.
5. Board posters- Most ladies who post boards are interested in what they do and staying safe. I believe there are more ladies that screen in this category, also more knowledgeable on the industry, and more willing to provide references. Again, though, YMMV with any one provider at any level of providing.

We are all providers. We are all different. We all have different scenes.



This industry is learned, the same with the Hobby.

Good luck!!

[vern0064]

Originally Posted by Lexxxy

Very well said and I am in the same boat. Some bitch and moan and freak out over my screening, some say it was the easiest ever, and some I just do my own screening without having to ask them a single question. It is all in who they see, reviews they post, and the way they handle themselves on the board.
I just had someone threaten to trash me in the men's room and write me a bad review because I refused to see him in Rochester. He had shady BP only references, was an ass in a few posts, and I don't like the way he depicts women in his reviews. All I have to say is bring it little man. I'm not scared Back on subject, I suggest becoming active on the board and review. Think of the tone in which you say things about and to women. If you meet a Lady and her face is crypt keeper you can come out and say very mature or be an ass and close some doors for yourself by saying old as dirt. There are ways to say what you mean without being classless and hurtful. Women who run an actual business look at these things.

Nice job Lexxy, first off he can't write a bad review if he has never seen you? Second i do beleive if this A hole posted something bad most of us would stick up for you. I do beleive you are a very vauleable provider and a vauleable poster on this board.

Guys have to realize like you said Lexxy this is a buisness for the ladies and a HOBBY for the guys? The ladies have to handle themselves with certain protocol in order to make it all work for them. Them have to look out for #1 which is themselves and thier safety.

If i guy cant give VERFIED LADIES the information that is required, then too bad for them. I know it has taken me a while to get to that point. It it is well worth it when you get more status on here in order too see verified ladies.

I am rambling so its off to my appointment!!

[Perryay]

Originally Posted by Lexxxy

Back on subject, I suggest becoming active on the board and review. Think of the tone in which you say things about and to women. If you meet a Lady and her face is crypt keeper you can come out and say very mature or be an ass and close some doors for yourself by saying old as dirt. There are ways to say what you mean without being classless and hurtful. Women who run an actual business look at these things.

Lexxxy - Crypt keeper - never heard that one before! LOL So instead of saying that her face could stop a clock, it's better that I say "when I saw her face, time stood still!!"
Tact is a very good thing!

[guest032013]

Refer to the bills in my wallet, or beat it!

[JONBALLS]

Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

The last guy took the all out highest risk route that almost never fails. Asked her to move in and have his rug rats. It worked. this time.
.

you forgot the capper,

when i asked her if she was ovulating, and that I wanted to start taking her temperature and charting her cycle...

just was hedging my bet a lil..hehehehe