When you are caught..... or.. When you catch your SO... How are you going to act?..... What would you do if you KNEW your SO was about to leave you?

[Whispers]

I see the male bravado from time to time..... some guy thinks his wife is cheating and others start giving him advice like walk away, kick her out, etc....

But when the time comes when you catch her/him...... How will YOU react?

How are YOU going to handle getting caught?.....

I'm sure I am not the only one that has experienced getting caught.... I had all kinds of preconceived notions of how it would play out when I was caught.

When it happened it played out in a totally unexpected manner.

The First time.....

Yeah... There was a 2nd time...... It also played out in a manner not expected.....

Then I ended up dealing with the fact that she had had enough..... I had resigned myself to that day coming for a long time..... I thought I would handle it in a certain way..... but it did not play out as smooth as I thought.....

What will you do if you realize that when the SO leaves that there is another who has captured her heart?

If you love the person you are with...... It will surely be a painful evolution to experience. Even more painful if it does not seem to matter to them. It's difficult to really imagine those feelings.

No. I did not start this thread out of some current hurt or issue I am experiencing. No need to psychoanalyze me today. My wife has been gone for over a year now....

often there are others here though that are on one side of this issue or the other with advice pouring at them from people that truly do not know how THEY would react......

If you have a spouse or SO that does not know about your involvement in the hobby......and Exit Strategy deserves as much thought and consideration as all the things you do to protect yourself and keep from getting caught........

[Toyz]

Catch Her:

Happened in my 20's. Beat the guy into a near coma, scared the hell out of me. We separated, but got back together and remained together for 7 (5 more) years...however, I was cheating on her at the time too...but when we got back together I didn't again until we divorced.

Caught Me:

Never really admitted to it, but she knew. (2nd wifey). I felt like the biggest prick in the world because she was a great wife (and to this day is a great friend). We also were married just shy of 7 years (that 5th-7th is a bitch guys...).
If I had it to do over...and I don't...I would not have cheated on either of these great women.

Now life is much different...am long single & enjoy it. Love the variety both in and out of hobby. But were I (& I have been even recently) in another monogomous relationship, I don't feel the need to cheat. If you are happy with your mate, then keep your dick in your drawers...just my humble opinion...

[nuglet]

Since we're gonna pony up to the bar.. as several of you know, I'm married and we often play with the ladies together. I'm even encouraged to go find, and audition ladies. That's THIS marriage.. Ironically, the last marriage ended because the wife thought I was having an affair with the current wife, who I met at The Jungle, my Austin Swingers Club. While not true, I really didn't care. It was worth the $$$ to get out of that marriage. Not even sure why it happened to start with and no clue why/how it lasted 8 years. She wasn't a swinger, and in fact was pretty lame in bed. Since I met the current at a swing party, there wasn't really any secrets to begin with and I've made it a point NOT to have secrets. Over the last several years, I've rented property to some of the local providers, but I have a hard and fast rule, NO play with tenants.. I'm sure you guys could see the ramification / results of that. While my wife wouldn't have an issue with it, I know it would bite us in the butt when the tenant leaves or is "invited to get out". Nasty rumors, stories etc etc.
I don't like being single, and in fact was once told by a parental figure.. "know why you don't have girl friends? You MARRY every one you date!!!"
The one previous to the previous one, cheated constantly.. She was the one I was with when we started the Swingers Club, but she apparently had a thing for her ex.. That relationship lasted about 3 yrs, or about 10 days longer than the day I found out her "girlfriend" was her ex husband. Don't regret any of the relationships, but I do miss some of the $$$ they took with them.. Next time, I'm just gonna find a girl that hates me, buy her a house and a car and be done with it. LOL
But, with that said, this one seems to be working. It's been 7 yrs so far, if I can keep my shit together, not screw up, and not go nuts, I've got faith it'll keep on going just fine.

[budman33]

None of your fucking business is my initial response. Hmm that's my second response too. Upon further review its a very personal matter.. and still none of your fucking business.

Now if we're trying to help hobbiests when or if that time comes with options, advice, coaching? yea still so individually tailored that we can only help a very small group.

When you get caught, your caught. own up or lie.. thats the best I got for you.

[nuglet]

You are absolutely correct that it is nobody's business. But since it was a generic question for any of the 137636 current members to reply, it seems you have an easy, logical choice.. Don't bother to read or reply. Then you won't be contributing to a thread that you feel is "None of your fucking business". It's a hooker board, not a psyche couch.. Chillax!

[ss4699]

I hobbied many years in an aweful marriage. I wanted her to find out and kick my ass out. Divorce was never an option due to personal commitments. Once I was caught, she forgave and it went on until I was ready to kill myself. I provider friend knew something was going on and talked truth to me. It was better to end that terrible fraud that kill myelf. After a few years divorced, I decided it was time to find a real woman. 3 years laster - she was not real, more problems than me. So back for a second set. I found another real lady I would like to have in my life but she is not ready for another man, too many bad guys in her previous life. Life is hard, but I am getting by for awhile in the hobby, hoping she will find me worth the effort. She is a very special person and hot as any hobbie lady I have ever meet. Sometimes life is not fair.
So if you hobby and you love the one you are with, be prepared to pay the price and it goes both ways. Fun with 3 is one thing, violating a love relationship that is real, I would never do. If I had used condoms 40 years ago, my life might have been a lot different today! But we are where we are and must deal with todays events. Be careful out their ladies and gentlemen!

[nuglet]

AMEN BROTHER!!! Remember when our parents used to say... "one day you'll know I'm telling you is true"... The older we get, the smarter our parents were.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by nuglet

AMEN BROTHER!!! Remember when our parents used to say... "one day you'll know I'm telling you is true"... The older we get, the smarter our parents were.

probably not the proper interpretation of the concept but my mom was cheating on my dad when I was a kid with a guy 15 years younger than her and ended up later married to a man 23yrs younger than her.

She recently found out I had a lady 35 years younger than me living with me. She thought about it for a few minutes and decided that if SHE could have replaced her 60yo husband with a 48yo for the same age difference she would!

I guess I'm just following her led in the long run.

[S O B]

We tell ourselves whatever we need to let us sleep at night.

[Whispers]

Originally Posted by S O B

We tell ourselves whatever we need to let us sleep at night.

Is that what you do when you pretend Staff Edit....Forbidden Topic....Spacemtn?

[S O B]

Originally Posted by Whispers

Is that what you do when you pretend (staff edit; ztonk)?

The fetus was a product of rape. It was aborted. Pretty lowbrow of you to attack that instead of me personaly. What is your emotional age, that you can't connect with females closer to your own age? Can you say latent (or not so latent pedo tendencies)?

[rockerrick]

Originally Posted by S O B

What is your emotional age, that you can't connect with females closer to your own age? Can you say latent (or not so latent pedo tendencies)?

Probably older than yours . Sounds like someone's jealous because he can't get with the younger ( but totally legal ladies ) . And nobody in their right mind is looking for deep emotional connections on this site .

[Toyz]

Can we get this one back on track? I think it speaks to a LOT of us, both as whoreists-N-providers...