Is GFE a dish best served cold?

[daty/o]

You can consider this part two of Jules’ thread “Don’t call me, I’ll call you”. After reading some of the responses, it occurred to me that many hobbyists actually desire an element of ‘relationship’ with the providers they see. Ok, don’t panic, I don’t mean commitment. God knows, I have seen the “this isn’t a dating site” warning label on enough threads. I’m talking more about connection. It seems that many of us put a premium value on the ‘friend’ aspect of the “Girlfriend Experience”. So, I guess my question, to all parties concerned, is this: Does GFE stop at the door? Does everyone prefer to keep it simple? “Find me, Fee me, Fuck me & Forget me”? Or do you find it more enjoyable to stay in touch, a little secret connection, more of a ‘friend with benefits’ relationship?

[safire_sweet]

The connection is very important to GFE as long as the two remember its an illusion some are better at it then others , BCD time just that BCD but when the doors open dont forget it was an illusion
-Safire Sweet

[rcinokc]

Take the cash off the table and see how far the FWB thing goes. Some guys like to feel that there is a connection, the successful ladies make them believe there is one.

[Still Looking]

I'm NOT a GFE hobbyist. Sessions are all about me! Providers come and go, but it is unavoidable that when two people chick that there is a thread of connection that is not bound by money, rules and understanding. If you’re the kind of person people "Like" you’re going to make friends. That’s just the way it is!

[Jules Jaguar]

most of our clients are married so yes most of the time gfe stops at the door. that is what the majority wants and we sometimes have no way of knowing what a client has going on in their personal lives.

[bigdog0311]

Originally Posted by safire_sweet

The connection is very important to GFE as long as the two remember its an illusion some are better at it then others , BCD time just that BCD but when the doors open dont forget it was an illusion
-Safire Sweet

Exactly.........That is a great statement, Safire! (I love your showcase, BTW!)

Originally Posted by rcinokc

.......the successful ladies make them believe there is one.

Another good statement!


Given that a guy is a gentleman and has good hygiene, why do we have YMMV providers? I know it will always be YMMV with strippers in a S/C, but as far as F/S providers go, should a session be one in which a hobbyist experiences, at the very least, a great, if not, a once in a lifetime, ATF type of session, according to the hobbyist that is paying for her "time and companionship"? If a provider, who the hobbyist has done his due diligence research on so he can get that "fantastic" session, cannot do that, for whatever reason, I believe that she needs to tell the hobbyist, preferably before he drives all the way out to see her.

[daty/o]

Originally Posted by rcinokc

Take the cash off the table and see how far the FWB thing goes.

I appreciate the heads up, but don't confuse romanticism with naivete. I am acutely aware of what benefit goes with what party.

[Guest062124]

I try to develop a level of friendship with my clients because well....to be intimate with a person, for me, means I have to trust them on a certain level...and of course that trust grows after seeing them more often and I can't F*ck someone that I don't like as a person.

I think a lot of times some gentlemen do not understand that after the time that we spend together, we as well, go home to family...cooking, cleaning...etc. and do not have the time to have an on going relationship other than a few "hello" or "how are you doing?" texts.

I do enjoy getting to know my clients and have made quite a few of them really good friends.

I have heard that I am great at the illusion of passion, but suck at the illusion of friendship...and although I didn't think it was a very fair statement, considering the circus of a life I have outside the hobby, I guess I understand what he was saying.

There are times that I just can't be "Reese" and sometimes I just need "me" time. I am more than sure a lot of ladies feel the same way... If you gentlemen can understand that and respect that..then I am sure ladies would love to have a friendship with you outside of the hour you pay for.

[guest043013-2]

Reese, nicely said, and explains from a lady's viewpoint the situation. I find in this day and age, we all have our real world tugging at our strings harder than they ever did when I was a kid.

I have always found that I need a connection of some sort to enjoy my time. Failure to make that connection means my session is just okay at best.

I spent a lot of time perusing BP, and more so, the print versions of Dallas Observer and Fort Worth Weekly. When I would pull the trigger, I almost always felt disappointed. (One exception that comes to mind was Tori from Girls Next Door.)

Here, I generally can establish a rapport with a lady, from her postings, see if I think we can click. A few emails or PMs, and when we finally meet, then the illusion of passion can be there.

I have described many guys as just looking for the next hole to deposit sperm into. If that is the case (hopefully we are talking condom use during FS), then none of it matters, and I would suggest you strictly follow at a price/appearance standard. For those of us that are looking for a cut above, the Reese's of the world fit our playtime much better.

[incognito isis]

I would prefer the GFE to stop at the door. I have things going on in my life and I don't have time to be friends with all these lonely, horny men. I don't mind a quick "hello, how are you" email, but those emails better make references to setting up a date also (directly or indirectly). If they don't make reference to scheduling an appointment, then i don't repond to the email because I don't want to feed a clingster. Unless, of course the email is for a provider reference request. I always end emails with references to making an appointment so no grey lines appear. Hello, How are you? -type-emails are fine, as long as they aren't creepy clingster like. I can sniff out a clingster pretty easily now, and I'm better equipped to handle such situation now days vs. the past. It's best to nip it in the bud early rther than later IMO. However, I did have all my regulars email me when I was recovering from BA surgery. I felt that was nice. But they were regulars who had/have been coming to me for a long time prolificly. I will always give more to clients who have given more to me. Give and take. But to act like best friends with someone I don't really know yet, well thats not cool with me. I'm a human and in order to get to a certain level emotionally, that is earned over time not just handed out instantly. Just because I give out ass instantly, doesn't mean I give out emotions instantly.

However personal chemistry does come into play here also. I had one client who I hated and he kept calling me for appointments. He tried to get me to give him free time/dates/sex UGH! He obviously liked me more than I liked him. I started to act bitchy towards him too. I was sure he would stop calling me because there was bad chemistry between us. I started cancelling appointments with him because I just didn't like the dude. He finally got the picture and found someone else. But there was bad chemisty between us which ultimately led to me not wanting his business. Some might argue that personal chemisty doesn't come into play in the escorting bizness, but it does to a degree. No woman will want to meet you over and over again if she really, really, really can't stand you!!

[NicoleSaunders]

Im GFE and definitely during our time together, I am girlfriend material all the way. Now, in our time apart, I do welcome occassional emails or texts just asking how Im doing or something I said or did last time we saw each other.

On the same note, I will send a PM or email (never text) to remark on something. Like, there is one who is vegan, and whenever one of us visits a new vegan/vegetarian restaurant we'll let the other know. Also, there was one I saw who was remodeling his house when I went to outcall, and he had floor samples he'd been trying to decide btween and asked me which I liked. I have it on the top of my mind to ask him which one he chose.

Theres a method to my madness in not leaving GFE at the door...in that, I dont ask anyone for business or promote myself one to one. But by sending a small how do you do, with a remark that lets them know I was actually listening or that our moment together was actually memorable in some way, that brings me back to the top of their heads to ask me when Im available. Its a type of promotion I guess...but then also, it goes back to the connection, in that while I am paid for my time, I do oftentimes genuinely enjoy the time I spend with them.

I do have my limits though...I dont like phone calls unless its to book time with me. I also do not do OTC meetings. There definitely are boundaries, but the friendliness and flirtation doesnt end, nor is he all but forgotten when I walk out of the door.

[Waldo P. Emerson-Jones]

Originally Posted by incognito isis

However personal chemistry does come into play here also. I had one client who I hated and he kept calling me for appointments. He tried to get me to give him free time/dates/sex UGH! He obviously liked me more than I liked him. I started to act bitchy towards him too. I was sure he would stop calling me because there was bad chemistry between us. I started cancelling appointments with him because I just didn't like the dude. He finally got the picture and found someone else. But there was bad chemisty between us which ultimately led to me not wanting his business. Some might argue that personal chemisty doesn't come into play in the escorting bizness, but it does to a degree. No woman will want to meet you over and over again if she really, really, really can't stand you!!

Just curious, but why didn't you just tell him straight up, in a polite way of course, that you didn't want to see him rather than act bitchy towards him and cancel appointments until he finally got the picture? Seems like it would have been easier and quicker for you, not to mention much less frustrating for him.

[GoAheadMkMyDay]

I'm in the hobby as much for the fantasy as for the satisfaction. Whether that fantasy is GFE, PSE, hot-cheerleader, or other, as a fantasy it stops at he door on the way out. It starts again as I start thinking about my next adventure, whether a repeat or finding someone new, and some kind of connection is important. I want the fantasy that she wants to see me, but there's no way (or at least there shouldn't be any way) to confuse this with the reality of the non-hobby life.

[coolhandluke]

I am single so this is my point of view. Some guys just need to feel that your into them so they can cum. I am one of those. If I get the feeling like the clock is ticking or it doesn't feel natural then I go limp. But other guys might want what their wife won't do and raunchy as hell. I like to feel like I am making love. Phone calls and smiles melt me like butter. Pet names and rubbing my big head after a long day of work. Love it.

I suppose the point st a good GFE is better than the sex, however its nice to have both.