Pussy VS Beer
			 
			 
			
		
		
		
			
			It is time to do a comparison between two things treasured by men, beer and pussy... 
 
A beer is always wet. 
A pussy needs encouragement. 
Advantage: Beer. 
 
A beer tastes horrible served hot. 
A pussy tastes better served hot. 
Advantage: Pussy. 
 
Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied. 
Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton. 
Advantage: Beer. 
 
Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones. 
Pussy does not. 
advantage: Tie 
 
If you get a hair in your teeth 
consuming pussy, you are not disgusted. 
Advantage: Pussy 
 
24 beers come in a box. 
A pussy is a box you can come in. 
Advantage: Pussy 
 
Too much head makes you mad at the 
person giving you a beer. 
Advantage: Pussy. 
 
If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is 
still edible. 
Advantage: Beer. 
 
If you come home smelling like beer, 
your wife may get mad. If you come home 
smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad. 
Advantage: Beer. 
 
6 beers in a night and you better not 
drive. 6 pussies in a night and you 
have done all the driving you need. 
Advantage: Pussy 
 
Buy too much beer and you will get fat. 
Buy too much pussy and you will get poor. 
Advantage: Tie 
 
It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game. 
You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game. 
Advantage: Pussy 
 
If a cop smells beer on your breath, 
you are going to get a breathalyzer. 
If a cop smells pussy on your breath, 
you are going to get a high five. 
Advantage: Pussy 
 
With beer, bigger is better. 
Advantage: beer. 
 
Wearing a condom does not make a beer 
any less enjoyable. 
Advantage: beer. 
 
Pussy can make you see God. Beer can 
make you see the porcelain god. 
Advantage: Pussy 
 
If you think all day about the next pussy  
you will have, you are normal.  
If you think all day about your next beer,  
you are an alcoholic. 
Advantage: Pussy 
 
Peeling labels off of beers is fun. 
Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun. 
Advantage: Pussy. 
 
If you try to snag a beer at work, 
you get fired. If you try to snag a pussy 
at work, you get hit with sexual harassment. 
Advantage: Tie 
 
If you suddenly drop a beer, it may 
break. If you suddenly drop a pussy, 
it may hunt you down like the dog you are. 
Advantage: Beer. 
 
If you change to another beer, your 
old brand will gladly have you back. 
Advantage: Beer. 
 
The best pussy you have ever had is 
not gone once you have enjoyed it. 
Advantage: Pussy. 
 
The worst pussy you have ever had is 
not gone once you have enjoyed it. 
Advantage: Beer. 
 
Bad beer: Schlitz, PBR, Old Swill. 
Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright. 
Advantage: Tie 
 
Good beer: Samuel Adams, Moosehead, 
Pete's Wicked Winter Brew. 
Good pussy: Almost all but the above. 
Advantage Pussy. 
 
The government taxes beer. 
Advantage: Pussy.
		 
		
		
		
		
		
		
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