Was I in the wrong? I'd love to get the thoughts from both men & women.

[Brooke Wilde]

The backstory: I've been doing business with a shop that does performance work on cars for about 10 years. We will call the owner "Bobby". On top of working on my cars, Bobby also pays me a small commission for people I refer to his shop that get work done so we've had a lot of communication throughout the years.

Our relationship is strictly professional. No hanky-panky or anything remotely inappropriate. Our conversations are always based around cars & lighthearted banter & shit talking.

Since they were just toddlers, Bobbys kids have always been at the shop with him.

Friday night I see his car at a casual restaurant by my house, which is about 60 miles from his side of town. I text him & jokingly ask him "what the hell are you doing on my side of town?" ... he replies & tells me to come in.

So, I go inside with my son, he has his 2 kids with him & is sitting with a lady. Right away he says "This is my wife, _____" & I reply "I had no idea you were married", well, instantly she freaks out. Starts screaming about we're having an affair & all kinds of crazy stuff.

I tried to explain that he & I have a PROFESSIONAL relationship. We NEVER talk about personal matters. I simply assumed he was single because: 1. his children are always at the shop with him & 2. I have never met her or seen her in the shop before & this is a family-owned business.

My question is: Am I in the wrong? How can she not see I meant no harm & that this was a simple mistake in my choice of words?

I look forward to everyone's feedback

[Dorian Gray]

Nein, Sie haben nicht Unrecht. Es ist ziemlich offensichtlich, dass Bobby einen wandernden Blick hat ... oder einen sehr paranoiden Ehepartner
: No, you are not in the wrong. It is quite obvious that Bobby has a wandering eye.... or a very paranoid spouse :

[jan-w]

The only question I have is..Was the wife more or less attractive than you? Might explain her reaction.

[Brooke Wilde]

Originally Posted by Dorian Gray

: No, you are not in the wrong. It is quite obvious that Bobby has a wandering eye.... or a very paranoid spouse :

That was my thought. That her reaction was less about me & more about her/them.

Originally Posted by jan-w

The only question I have is..Was the wife more or less attractive than you? Might explain her reaction.

I personally thought she was very good looking.

[Unique_Carpenter]

I have found some gals simply can not handle their guy having gal friends and are always at least a bit jealous of other gals, regardless of situation. IMO the extent of that is based upon basic human insecurities.

Basically, some folks never really got out of a younger than an adult mentality about hanging with opposite sex humans without overreacting with the hormone thing.

Conclusion, Not your fault.
But, as Dorian mentioned, if the guy has been previously caught with the wandering eye thing, a good part of the blame belongs to the guy.

As for human insecurities, applies to guys as well. There's a reason that ECG's club had a rule that a gal's SO was not allowed on property until after closing time.

[latinluvr465]

You NEVER talk about the spouse. It's like going full retard.

[Brooke Wilde]

Originally Posted by Unique_Carpenter

Basically, some folks never really got out of a younger than an adult mentality about hanging with opposite sex humans without overreacting with the hormone thing.

Yep, when I am around him I just feel like one of the "guys". There is nothing sexual between us at all.

Originally Posted by latinluvr465

You NEVER talk about the spouse. It's like going full retard.

If I could do it all over again, I would have just replied with "nice to meet you".

Speaking from a girlfriend/wife perspective, I think I would be a little hurt if I was with someone for 10 plus years & they never mentioned me to someone they had known for a long time, but then again, our interaction is 100% business/car related so it's just not something we discuss.

Plus, his kids are with him so much I honestly thought he was a single father.

[latinluvr465]

Casual observance: 95% of women will be jealous and suspicious of the 90 year old cleaning lady at their husband's office, more so a hottie.

[DEAR_JOHN]

Not your fault, you had no way of knowing. I wonder if he was playing games to set you up or his wife up.


Hell, I might know the guy as I've modded several Mustangs, Corvettes, and Hellcats, but with Houston Raceway Park being demolished, the fun has been taken out as the nearest quarter mile tracks are up near Navasota or east close to Vidor.

[MarcellusWalluz]

A different greeting from you wouldn't have made a difference. She suspects him of cheating and goes off on him regularly, wine probably was a factor as well.

[Michael8219]

Originally Posted by latinluvr465

Casual observance: 95% of women will be jealous and suspicious of the 90 year old cleaning lady at their husband's office, more so a hottie.

Do you have the cleaning lady’s number?

[LadyMoxie]

Oh damn! Lmaooooo!not your fault and he should have known better... that would trip me out...

[Uomo]

I'm going to take counter point here. (remember, you asked)

Own up to the fact that you chose the wrong response and caused this. You seem to want to feel better about what you said by putting the blame on her

Originally Posted by Brooke Wilde

[ How can she not see I meant no harm & that this was a simple mistake in my choice of words?

You explained your point of view, you never talk about family.. etc. Peace. But "I had no idea you were married" - in her eyes - means he deliberately omitted this information from you and it rendered her insignificant and unseen in that moment and even worse, in front of her kids - icing on the cake. But yeah, how can she not see how wrong she is.

Now on the other hand, this probably isn't the first time she has suspected him and you could have simply said hi, done a curtsy and she likely would have still given him crap after you left.

[Busty]

Dad always said, wear your wedding bands & the world will know. He never went without his.

[latinluvr465]

Originally Posted by Busty

Dad always said, wear your wedding bands & the world will know. He never went without his.

Because of the nature of one's work, it is not prudent to wear any sort of ring or jewelry due to the possibility of it getting caught on something and ripping your finger off. Especially a mechanic who constantly has his hand around moving parts.