Your ad

[Crystal West]

Reading Gemma's thread and the comments inspired me to start this thread.
Gentlemen you read so many ads.

So what would your ad say?
Title , Content let it all hang out no pun intended

[dumars]

KC's Finest Primal Neandertal!

Come, my dear, be ravaged by the Neandertal you've always wanted. Experience the helplessness and victimization of being probed, prodded, sniffed and, at long last, fed upon by a true "carnivore" only to transition into a state where your gooey, squishy spasms is the only thing saving Planet Earth finially relish in the taste of KC's best tasting Neantertal.

Phone 816-555-1212, no texts, no blocked numbers. No male callers. Those not crude and profane will be hung up on. One hour appts only. My donations are for your time, not mine. Ask about my fly me to you deals!

Subject to further editing after the 1 hour time window. Any questions? You did ask.




No, I did not misspell "Neandertal". Not wanting to be wordy, that is the name it should be according to me.

[satan666]

well it would be straight to the point and unfiltered. especially if it were on a site like eccie. there would be no beating around the bush. what was on the menu would be stated. as well as what isn't on the menu. and my pictures would be unfiltered unedited and show all of my flaws and imperfections! as no one likes to have a certain impression in mind going into an appointment and that not be the case. like using a picture of myself in my twenties when I was much more toned and athletic. opposed to how I look currently!

[Crystal West]

Originally Posted by dumars

KC's Finest Primal Neandertal!

Come, my dear, be ravaged by the Neandertal you've always wanted. Experience the helplessness and victimization of being probed, prodded, sniffed and, at long last, fed upon by a true "carnivore" only to transition into a state where your gooey, squishy spasms is the only thing saving Planet Earth finially relish in the taste of KC's best tasting Neantertal.

Phone 816-555-1212, no texts, no blocked numbers. No male callers. Those not crude and profane will be hung up on. One hour appts only. My donations are for your time, not mine. Ask about my fly me to you deals!

Subject to further editing after the 1 hour time window. Any questions? You did ask.




No, I did not misspell "Neandertal". Not wanting to be wordy, that is the name it should be according to me.

Loving it

[Guest123017]

satan666 nailed it - for emphasis I must be redundant and say:

1. write a little and say a lot with a brief fantasy description (soccer mom, GND, accurate age, weight, height, MMs or not, etc) + clear menu expectations (real GFE or not, cbj only is a biggie here) + availability + expected contributions for time well spent...

2. most important - a picture is worth a 1000 words - please - real and recent images of exactly who will be behind the door when I walk in - the images make the ad - if I start to get wood seeing those then I imagine a date with you, if I imagine a date with you then I read and research - if I likey, I call or PM my references...

guessing sucks...

[dumars]

You're right, forgot. Also, pictures are 100% me or I'm free! Pik does not pass on sexy crotch odor homo sapient women love about me!

Originally Posted by nudiej

2. most important - a picture is worth a 1000 words

[Sarah Renee]

I am freakin rolling! You guys are too much!

LOVE IT!!!


XOXOX

Sarah Renee

[Crystal West]

Was actually looking for the gentlemen to write their ad about themself not take the chance to talk about the wrongs in provider's ads ....
Oh well some just don't dare have fun and lighten up.

[Crystal West]

Originally Posted by dumars

You're right, forgot. Also, pictures are 100% me or I'm free! Pik does not pass on sexy crotch odor homo sapient women love about me!

So hot and comes with his own club

[Danson&Highsmith]

It might look something like this. Hope you like it ladies.



Hey Ladies, your sweet lovable Teddy Bear is back. Even though your parent's told you to get rid of it (or be single forever) or your girls gave you a bunch of trouble about it, now you can have it back on demand. Available 24/7 with pre-arranged appointments and will work with you on short notice as needed. Donations are for my time and tips are appreciated. Call now and get the Teddy special: 30 minutes of warm cuddling and kisses.



Missing that hairy dad bod of your old neighbor or girlfriend's dad that you couldn't explain but just felt attracted to? Live out that fantasy whenever you want. Open minded, nonjudgmental, non clock watcher, never rushed, and willing to please. BFE, PSE, Teddy Bear Exp., Lassie (You direct me), Magnum P.I. (I direct you). Available for range of experiences from country dates to upscale functions. NO LEOs (unless role-play with fuzzy cuffs), No dudes or males. Open to all races, but must be 21 to ride this ride.

Call today and be my first review. Let's have a sexy party soon!

[onlyorobin]

Thats great! ! I would definitely consider the TEDDY SPECIAL

[johnnyretard]

Originally Posted by Crystal West

So what would your ad say?
Title , Content let it all hang out no pun intended

"hang on. I'm gonna fart"

that's what i think whenever I see your pic of you about to sit down on the shitter..
if that's not what you are doing, I'd be surprised

[Mina Harker]

Originally Posted by dumars

KC's Finest Primal Neandertal!

Come, my dear, be ravaged by the Neandertal you've always wanted. Experience the helplessness and victimization of being probed, prodded, sniffed and, at long last, fed upon by a true "carnivore" only to transition into a state where your gooey, squishy spasms is the only thing saving Planet Earth finially relish in the taste of KC's best tasting Neantertal.

Phone 816-555-1212, no texts, no blocked numbers. No male callers. Those not crude and profane will be hung up on. One hour appts only. My donations are for your time, not mine. Ask about my fly me to you deals!

Subject to further editing after the 1 hour time window. Any questions? You did ask.




No, I did not misspell "Neandertal". Not wanting to be wordy, that is the name it should be according to me.

Originally Posted by dumars

You're right, forgot. Also, pictures are 100% me or I'm free! Pik does not pass on sexy crotch odor homo sapient women love about me!

Originally Posted by Danson&Highsmith

It might look something like this. Hope you like it ladies.



Hey Ladies, your sweet lovable Teddy Bear is back. Even though your parent's told you to get rid of it (or be single forever) or your girls gave you a bunch of trouble about it, now you can have it back on demand. Available 24/7 with pre-arranged appointments and will work with you on short notice as needed. Donations are for my time and tips are appreciated. Call now and get the Teddy special: 30 minutes of warm cuddling and kisses.



Missing that hairy dad bod of your old neighbor or girlfriend's dad that you couldn't explain but just felt attracted to? Live out that fantasy whenever you want. Open minded, nonjudgmental, non clock watcher, never rushed, and willing to please. BFE, PSE, Teddy Bear Exp., Lassie (You direct me), Magnum P.I. (I direct you). Available for range of experiences from country dates to upscale functions. NO LEOs (unless role-play with fuzzy cuffs), No dudes or males. Open to all races, but must be 21 to ride this ride.

Call today and be my first review. Let's have a sexy party soon!

omfg I'm dying! These are BRILLIANT! Though I would have to give the TBE a go. Made my day.

[zeejoe]

Originally Posted by dumars

You're right, forgot. Also, pictures are 100% me or I'm free! Pik does not pass on sexy crotch odor homo sapient women love about me!

I call bullshit on the real pics. That is clearly Malwoody.

[Crystal West]

Originally Posted by johnnyretard

"hang on. I'm gonna fart"

that's what i think whenever I see your pic of you about to sit down on the shitter..
if that's not what you are doing, I'd be surprised

Awww look at you trying to be funny how sweet.
Keep trying boo boo bear you might make it someday.... After all even trolls and fucktards have a place here on ECCIE.

The screen name seems very fitting BTW nice choice ...