Sobriety

[Windinhishair]

Originally Posted by BugleBoy

Congratulations to both Aphrodite and Mandi May. Two wonderful ladies who bring a lot to our community. Thankfully, they have conquered their issues and are now moving forward in positive directions.

And, they are both a lot of fun BCD and I need to get back and see each of them soon.

Nobody still active in the hobby has come anywhere close to conquering their issues.

Hobbyists may get one particular destructive habit/symptom under control but the real issues are far from conquered.

Taking unnecessary and extreme risks to rent one's body or pay $300 an hour for fake love is a pretty strong indicator.

I will say congrats on each baby step. That's the best any of us can do.

Now back to the hobby related stuff. Time to move this thread to the Sandbox where it belongs unless we can shift this discussion to how the two are related.

[dodger]

Originally Posted by Windinhishair

Nobody still active in the hobby has come anywhere close to conquering their issues.

calling bullshit .... but thanks for playing

[Cunt Hunt]

Originally Posted by Windinhishair

Taking unnecessary and extreme risks to rent one's body or pay $300 an hour for fake love is a pretty strong indicator.

Damn.Tell us how you really feel. Showing us your with this one.

[Cat in the Hat]

What's annoying is claims of sobriety from those that still drink/use to garner the attention of others while still remaining weak.

[dodger]

Originally Posted by Cat in the Hat

What's annoying are claims of sobriety from those that still drink/use to garner the attention of others while still remaining weak.

OK .. this is going far afield from what should be discussed in this forum .. but i cannot let this pass. first ... you don't get to take the inventory of the qualities of another. that's on them ... and them, alone. second ... can't comment on claims of sobriety .. but i continued to drink for several weeks when i attended AA meetings ... and was always made to feel welcome.

as they pointed out .. the only requirement was a desire to stop ... and i'm not even sure i had that ... but my life was a mess ... and their lives were ... less of a mess. so, i kept going to the meetings ... and one day ... it worked for me. that was almost 40 years ago.

i don't judge .. i don't compare ... i just encourage ...

finally ... weakness doesn't come into play. some really weak ppl don't have the issue ... some really strong ppl do ... it is what it is

[gfejunkie]

Originally Posted by dodger

that was almost 40 years ago.

Happy birthday, dodger.

[Aphrodite]

Originally Posted by Cat in the Hat

What's annoying is claims of sobriety from those that still drink/use to garner the attention of others while still remaining weak.

Fat Cat, once again, I am amazed that you have only been here since July yet, speak with such authority regarding, those that have never met you.

It's almost as though you've known this co-ed group for such a long time and therefore, feel privy to hurl insults and insinuate that you have insider knowledge. Pretty amazing! Even when you're dead wrong, fat cat.

You also seem to have a burr up your ass, much like your board- persona doppelgänger, about certain people saying or doing ANYTHING because they want to garner attention.

Whatever, you say Whiskers.

Maybe you could be specific if you are going to do the equivalent of hacking up a hair ball every time you post the above kind of comment?


Back on topic...whatever that is now.

Dodger - I knew you were cool

Hugs, Mandi

The ironic thing is is that I think many would prefer to gossip about which women have addiction issues. We all deal with our issues/struggles, some with a strong support system or in our own private hell.

Each of us has our own struggles and demons that has absolutely nothing to do with the hobby or why one chooses to hobby.

The disease of addiction-whether it be alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, or what have you is life-altering. No revelation there.

It isn't about whether one is in the hobby or not, but, it saddens and amazes me that we can talk about sloppy wet blowjobs, anal sex, cream pies, and all variations of sexual behavior but, let's move this topic to the sandbox.

Instead, let's talk about something really important like Claire and Vanilla's goings-on because, that has everything to do with the hobby!

Anyway, I'm going to go pour some cranberry juice and sparkling cider, in my wine glass. I prefer that over wine anyway.
I can see how that might confuse someone. If they saw me, in a social situation, they might think I was drinking wine and accuse me of lying about my sobriety.

Peace out

[JadeRose]

Originally Posted by Windinhishair

Nobody still active in the hobby has come anywhere close to conquering their issues.

Hobbyists may get one particular destructive habit/symptom under control but the real issues are far from conquered.

Taking unnecessary and extreme risks to rent one's body or pay $300 an hour for fake love is a pretty strong indicator.

I will say congrats on each baby step. That's the best any of us can do.

Now back to the hobby related stuff. Time to move this thread to the Sandbox where it belongs unless we can shift this discussion to how the two are related.

I would have to respectfully strongly disagree with you here, sir. This is highly assumptive and too complex of an issue to be boxed into a one size fits all box. I think that whether or not someone has dealt with their personal/mental/emotional state of being is not dependent upon their chosen profession (yes, strictly that) or other generally surface level affairs. I believe this is largely a cultural viewpoint.

Do I think that there are many people who have unresolved issues? Sure. Maybe even the vast majority of people involved in sex work/unconventional/high risk lifestyles? Maybe... But to make this blanket statement based on being a person who sells or pays for sex is very subjective.

I do agree that many people probably feel that "major" addictions are generally the ones that can be seen on the surface, physically indulge in, or will always manifest a cookie cutter pattern that qualifies it as an addiction. Not so much having an actively cancerous personality trait, self depreciating pattern of thinking, dangerously indulgent mental process that often chip away and compromise our mental and emotional completeness.. Nah, those aren't addictions.

The question is then.. What are these "real issues"? Probably the same issues everyone has the capacity to have understanding and awareness of with the proper tools and desire. We all have parts of ourselves that are deep seated, unconscious, untapped, or possibly suppressed or not dealt with. The goal is to have awareness of them and deal with them as they are, hopefully, and to do so regardless of what kind of profession or lifestyle we have. This is a problem with our society, our schemas are conditioned. We judge deep-rooted things from surface level standpoints all the time.

I always kind of chuckle when I've heard someone say, "you're a whore! You sell your body for sex! That's all you're good for." etc..
Translation: A person who sells their body is a whore and whores are BAD. Therefore, you're a bad person and I BELIEVE that's all you can be good for, because how would someone who manages a business with their own body be capable of using that pink blob between their ears for anything OF INTELLECTUAL WORTH? Lol. All I hear is a person with a poorly conditioned schema and lack of insight into anything that doesn't involve solid labeling.

I'm well aware of my personality defects and shortcomings and truly actively engage them on a daily basis to try to be a "better person". The fact that I do what I do has little to do with this, besides having an excessive sex drive for the purpose of mild dissonance from the everyday struggles and stresses. (Which means good for you guys). It's fun, it's a hobby, it's a job.

[Windinhishair]

Jade
We can agree to disagree. I fully expect a fair amount of push back from posting this on a fuck board where everyone needs to justify their reasons for hobbying or is here to market themselves.

My comment was not a judgement. It was an assessment /opinion which doesn't necessarily make it accurate.

[JadeRose]

Originally Posted by Windinhishair

We can agree to disagree. I fully expect a fair amount of push back from posting this on a fuck board where everyone want to justify their reasons for hobbying.

My comment was not a judgement. It was an rational assessment /opinion which doesn't make it necessarily accurate.

True, and you're entitled to your opinion like everyone else.. But just to point out, to feel need to justify gives indication of the person feeling need to prove oneself right, or acceptable. If some one lacks any form of social shame/self shame or otherwise negative connotation associated with such topic, why would there be a need to justify? Meh, honesty works better than justification. This was my point. Not all of us feel that there is something at all wrong with hobbying/providing in the first place.

[Windinhishair]

Originally Posted by Aphrodite

It isn't about whether one is in the hobby or not, but, it saddens and amazes me that we can talk about sloppy wet blowjobs, anal sex, cream pies, and all variations of sexual behavior but, let's move this topic to the sandbox.

Instead, let's talk about something really important like Claire and Vanilla's goings-on because, that has everything to do with the hobby!

A simple concept actually.

a) Finding out who offers sloppy wet blowjobs, anal sex, cream pies, and all variations of sexual behavior are the reasons every monger joined Eccie.

b) Since when is it a good idea to tell your potential customer base that you are an alcoholic presently on the wagon? I get telling your closest friends for support reasons but why would you advertise this on a fuck board?
This is like a monger publicly announcing "Ever since anger management counseling I haven't hit one single woman".

[Windinhishair]

Originally Posted by JadeRose

True, and you're entitled to your opinion like everyone else.. But just to point out, to feel need to justify gives indication of the person feeling need to prove oneself right, or acceptable. If some one lacks any form of social shame/self shame or otherwise negative connotation associated with such topic, why would there be a need to justify? Meh, honesty works better than justification. This was my point. Not all of us feel that there is something at all wrong with hobbying/providing in the first place.

Cool than you are of that small percentage of proud providers whose RW friends and family know exactly what you do right?
If so than you would share this trait with the original OP of this thread. EFL advertised to the entire world that she was a provider.

If your profession as a hooker/provider/sex worker is secretive than the term "justify" would still apply IMO.

[JadeRose]

Originally Posted by Windinhishair

Cool than you are of that small percentage of proud providers whose RW friends and family know what you do right?
If so than you would share this trait with the original OP of this thread. EFL advertised to the entire world that she was a provider.

Nope. My family doesn't know because it would likely worry them for my safety, for typical and obviously possible reasons. It's more of a respect thing, than a shame thing. Yes, most of my friends know, the close ones I feel know me well enough to not judge me inaccurately on the basis of me being a sex worker alone. Most of my friends are pretty free, progressive thinkers. I also believe in discretion and tact. I'll have a candid back and forth on this topic anyday within appropriate means, but that doesn't mean I'm going to my public speaking class and speaking on "the joys and pitfalls of selling your snatch for cash." :-P

[Windinhishair]

Originally Posted by JadeRose

Nope. My family doesn't know because it would likely worry them for my safety, for typical and obviously possible reasons. It's more of a respect thing, than a shame thing. Yes, most of my friends know, the close ones I feel know me well enough to not judge me inaccurately on the basis of me being a sex worker alone. Most of my friends are pretty free, progressive thinkers. I also believe in discretion and tact. I'll have a candid back and forth on this topic anyday within appropriate means, but that doesn't mean I'm going to my public speaking class and speaking on "the joys and pitfalls of selling your snatch for cash." :-P

Again we agree to disagree.

Cops, skyscraper construction workers, mine workers, rigg workers and Alaskan fishermen all have far more dangerous jobs than you do yet none of them would have any pause in sharing their profession with family and All of their friends. Those who won't accept you can fuck off.

If you're perfectly OK with it then your family should be respecting who you are which includes your dangerous profession not the other way around.
That sounds Exactly like justification to me.

There is a huge difference between coming out to your family and friends as a provider who is proud of what she does and conducting a "How to" class on providing.

[JadeRose]

Originally Posted by Windinhishair

Again we agree to disagree.
Cops, skyscraper construction workers, mine workers, rigg workers and Alaskan fishermen all have far more dangerous jobs than you do yet none of them would have any pause in sharing their profession with family and All friends.

If you're perfectly OK with it then your family should be respecting who you are which includes your profession not the other way around.
That sounds exactly like justification to me.

There is a huge difference between coming out to your family and friends as a provider who is proud of what she does and conducting a "How to" class on providing.

I talk about sex with my mom, she's a bit awkward about it sometimes, but I'm not. I want to share some of my crazy stories working sometimes... But again, I refrain simply because I respect her and don't want to add any more unnecessary worry in the back of her mind regarding what I do. It's not out of fear of judgement or not being accepted; she knows who I am and that I am unconventional, and I'm pretty sure she suspects something about what I do. I know that she would not understand it or view it as I do; which is perfectly fine, so I don't feel need to bring it up. If I absolutely do one day, I will. Sometimes respect is simply accommodating the wishes of another. I truly do not feel SHE would want to know if I was doing this. I, on the other hand, see nothing wrong in it nor feel shame regarding it. So, no justification is needed on my part.