S&M how to start

[Greystoke]

I have a lady friend that wants play , she is very sub.

any advice on how to start?


Players club in SA?

Providers?

[budman33]

Originally Posted by Greystoke

I have a lady friend that wants play , she is very sub.

any advice on how to start?


Players club in SA?

Providers?

google how to be dom. if your posting here you arent already and need guidance. Literotica.com will give you some ideas and motivation. How to be a spank daddy is a great book. You have to just try. I wouldnt outsource it because then you wouldnt be needed so much.

IMO of course

[Mia Christine]

This is one of my favorite resources. Eloquent, and Lovely... Delves deeply into not only the physical aspects of the Dom/Sub relationship, but also the most important, the mind of your chosen Sub.

http://fortheloveofasub.tumblr.com


Two books as well:


-The New Bottoming Book
http://www.amazon.com/New-Bottoming-...bottoming+book


-The New Topping Book
http://www.amazon.com/Topping-Paperb...5ENDQCNF9S1NVX


These are a good place to start for beginners. I would suggest that you both read each book.

Hope this helps point the two of you in a right direction.

[sue_nami]

fetlife is a great site to learn more.

[tzv13]

Fetlife can be helpful, but it can also be that rabbit hole that will take you places you never wanted to go. Stay focused on the topics/fetishes that you are interested in. Join groups and discussions in those topics/fetishes. Get to know other likeminded people. Go to munches. It can be a great learning tool for you, but be warned there's a lot of stuff on there that you can't unsee.

[sue_nami]

tzv hell that's true everywhere, good advice. I would also add forget players as it is not a bdsm scene at all, For Kinky swinger club fun go to fetish Friday at friends club on the last Friday of this month.

[tzv13]

That is true advice.


Although I've seen stuff on fet that would make the girls from 2girls1cup go "that's fucked up."

[Windinhishair]

Someone genuinely asked for advice in Coed and received only very useful and sincere responses.

I'm completely stunned. Quick lock the doors before anyone else gets in. lol

[sue_nami]

Yea, some of us like to us coed as place for discussion and getting to know our fellow hobbyists and chatting about interesting topics we all have in common. it;s pretty cool when it works out that way huh?

[Guest010218]

Kudos to all who posted above. I received useful information and learned something new.

[JennsLolli]

Have her start on her knees and go from there.

[fun2come]

Communication is key, especially as you start out. Before/during/after ...

Realize that the SUB actually is in control of the session !

AND some subs, with proper "training", make excellent Doms, you might eventually want to explore that with her ...

[tzv13]

Communication exactly. Make sure you read up on aftercare.

[Mia Christine]

Originally Posted by tzv13

Communication exactly. Make sure you read up on aftercare.

Yes!

The blog I mentioned above, delves into aftercare, and it's so very important. When I eased into my first BDSM relationship, emotions would fly at me from all directions. I had needs and desires that had to be tended to even though I was the Dom. The interplay can really mess with your head, if you're not prepared.

[tzv13]

Aftercare to me isn't just after the session, or the next day, it's ongoing until the next session.