Classic Pre-Planned Excuses

[ognob]

2 rules.

rule 1. don't get caught
rule 2. if you are dumb enough to get caught and have a S.O. be prepared for that relationship to come to a screeching halt if she finds out.

if you can't handle the possible outcome of #2 then this game ain't for you.

[citizen44]

Originally Posted by Wakeup

And there's your problem. You, and your friends, have no idea what it means to make an emotional and legal agreement, and actually hold up your end of that bargain. You have no frame of reference for what it means to actually love someone. It's not a surprise that you have no idea what that word means, or what responsibilities come with it.

Yes, that's my exact contention. If they truely loved them, they'd have seriously thought about what they would do if, someday, their sexual needs weren't getting fulfilled by the person they were thinking about proposing to. If their answer was that they'd cheat on their future wife, and they still got married, then yeah...never loved her...they were just doing it because it was expected of them...and they knew they would have no problem lying to their wife in the most heinous of ways for the rest of their life. That sound like love to you?

He does...he started the thread. You suggesting that no one should comment in any way? Or just no contrary replies are acceptable? Does that apply to you as well? Methinks that you being disparaging of my negative opinion of cheaters says more about your life situation than it does mine...

Now I'm positive I was right, but you are sure to deny or ignore. You are also displaying your youth and lack of experience in relationships that span decades. I don't judge the cheaters because if I had the knowledge I do now I would have been one with them, and because I understand for some of them, there is not one iota of guilt deserved. Cheating is no worse than some other ways that a relationship is ruined.

[SpiceItUp]

I'd go with something like "What? She tripped, fell, and landed on my dick". And it kept happening over and over. A lot of clumsy girls out there you know.

[Camille Fox]

Originally Posted by futile

Well... The truth would be telling her "as a kid in the candy store, I can't hold the urge to sample everything." But why so important to tell the truth here? For me, it is more important not hurting someone you love. The truth would hurt her a lot so I would do anything or say anything but the truth. Life is too short to make everyone around you understand you. Forget the truth if it does not do any good.

Then don't get caught. Anything else, it won't matter what you say. You will hurt her.

[Guest030816]

Having just gotten off work, let me catch up.
First, posting some silly ass excuses what to tell SO when he gets caught. And being bold enough to call them classic. The KEY word here being WHEN he gets caught. OP Is already planning his own doom.
Second, third silly excuse of OP's bi curiosity in a open forum. Therefore opening himself up for public ridicule. Seriously, what the hell were you thinking? Did you not think you would get flak for that? smh.....
Third and most important. You came looking for input on how to lie to your SO to avoid hurting her. The one you claim to love and would do anything to avoid causing her pain. What not stop doing the things that would hurt her? Ending the need for lies and coverups. Like I said earlier, your behavior is nothing but selfish, like a kid in a candy store. You want what you want and be damned all others as long as you you can lie your way out of it. You want your cake...
You can lie to your SO, you can lie to yourself, but I ain't buying the BULLSHIT.
You want us to validate your behavior and it ain't gonna happen. Know that when you log on, when you fuck another woman, you are hurting your precious SO. Either you don't love her as much as you claim to, or you are to selfish to consider her feelings.
When the inevitable happens, remember this thread and the next step you are about to take...

[futile]

Originally Posted by Wakeup

If they truely loved them, they'd have seriously thought about what they would do if, someday, their sexual needs weren't getting fulfilled by the person they were thinking about proposing to.

I have to ask WU, have you ever been in love? I don't think you know what love is. When you love someone and propose to take next step with her, sex is last thing on your mind. You just want to have her in your life, may be have a family and take care of her the rest of her life. All of these are much much bigger than sex. You are not marrying for sex. Only idiots would marry for sex.

When hearing the way you think, not to compromise yourself in the future, I would suggest you marry one of the ladies here on this forum, that is if you have not done that yet. Better yet, do not marry at all because you will never find a woman who can fulfill your sexual needs until the day you die. Otherwise you are going to have a hard time working out in your head with so called "cheating" somehwhere down the road.

BTW, Cheating is the word used by the conservative society that promotes monogamy to illegitimate the natual act of a man fulfilling his desire. I don't know how it can be called cheating when you are being just a man. Even modern marriage vow does not have "thou shall not sleep with any other woman". Also, no one can make a vow against against natural process. Like I will not eat or I will not sleep. It is just unnatural. I might be too liberal in this case, but in my opinion, we should stop calling this cheating.

[futile]

Originally Posted by SpiceItUp

I'd go with something like "What? She tripped, fell, and landed on my dick". And it kept happening over and over. A lot of clumsy girls out there you know.

Thank you SpiceitUp. I started this thread to see some funny replies like this one. But unfortunately, it took a turn to serious discussion. I just thought people on this forum would be more liberal about what we do here. Same people who calling vulgar names to ladies on here, same people who has no problem paying money for sex, but they have problem with a man having sex with one woman and loving another. I feel a bit of hypocrisy here.

[Lucas McCain]

Originally Posted by futile

I have to ask WU, have you ever been in love? I don't think you know what love is. When you love someone and propose to take next step with her, sex is last thing on your mind. You just want to have her in your life, may be have a family and take care of her the rest of her life. All of these are much much bigger than sex. You are not marrying for sex. Only idiots would marry for sex.

When hearing the way you think, not to compromise yourself in the future, I would suggest you marry one of the ladies here on this forum, that is if you have not done that yet. Better yet, do not marry at all because you will never find a woman who can fulfill your sexual needs until the day you die. Otherwise you are going to have a hard time working out in your head with so called "cheating" somehwhere down the road.

BTW, Cheating is the word used by the conservative society that promotes monogamy to illegitimate the natual act of a man fulfilling his desire. I don't know how it can be called cheating when you are being just a man. Even modern marriage vow does not have "thou shall not sleep with any other woman". Also, no one can make a vow against against natural process. Like I will not eat or I will not sleep. It is just unnatural. I might be too liberal in this case, but in my opinion, we should stop calling this cheating.

You've kind of lost me here...You asked a question and WU answered it, and I agree with him. I'm a liberal guy but cheating is cheating no matter how you try to fucking justify it....If you were asking to be funny, own it; if not then don't try to change course when you get a serious reply and you don't like the answer.

Bottom line, you can be a cheating piece of shit whore chaser all you want, but don't make up reasons to justify that bullshit to make yourself feel better.

[pyramider]

This whole thread is an exercise in futility. But when futile gets caught he will here whining about it.

[Guest030816]

Originally Posted by futile

Thank you SpiceitUp. I started this thread to see some funny replies like this one. But unfortunately, it took a turn to serious discussion... I feel a bit of hypocrisy here.

Originally Posted by pyramider

This whole thread is an exercise in futility. But when futile gets caught he will here whining about it.

I gotta agree with my three sided friend here, OP is bouncing around like a ping pong ball all over the place. As we joked around about SO buying you a nice big strapon, or inviting you to a MMF threesome, it was you who brought up how you were trying to keep cheating on your commitment without hurting your SO's feelings.
"I feel a bit of hypocrisy here"
You damn well should, you are the absolute definition of what a hypocrite is and does. Nobody here is unaware of the fact that you can separate love and sex. But don't try to convince us that you are concerned about your loved ones feelings. There its no way around it, your actions here are bound to hurt her feelings. There's no way you can lie your way out of that fact.
Us discussing and commenting on this is falling on deaf ears because you are going to do what you want to do. Just like the spoiled lil kid in the candy store.
You mention your buddhist like beliefs, but I think you are uninformed of how Bhudda achieved enlightenment. You are probably confusing Buddhism with hedonism. Big difference there.

[Wakeup]

Originally Posted by futile

You just want to have her in your life, may be have a family and take care of her the rest of her life. All of these are much much bigger than sex. You are not marrying for sex. Only idiots would marry for sex.

So...you get married so that you can have that woman for the rest of your life...then you turn around and cheat on her, almost guaranteeing that if you get caught, she'll divorce you.

You make so much sense...

Originally Posted by futile

Better yet, do not marry at all...

I will never get married, I don't date. I've made these choices because I know exactly what kind of person I am, and I refuse to make a vow to be faithful to a wife for the rest of my life, like you did, knowing that you'd violate that vow anytime you feel like it, and be perfectly happy to lie to your wife about it.

You're the one who is too scared to make that decision for yourself, so instead, you make all the decisions for your wife. You want to be a man? Tell you wife, right now, that you're cheating on her. Give her the choice to do with your marraige what she will. You're trying to convince us how morally pristine you are in this whole thing, go have this conversation with your wife.

That's what I thought...scared little boy...who has no idea what true love entails...

Real men who love their wives don't make excuses about this...they have honest conversations with their wives before they do it, to see if she's okay with it, so there are no excuses to make.

[Kimberdoll]

and to the OP, I can see why the wife isnt putting out to you, I can see it, with your attitude who would want to(for free.) You should do HER a favor and divorce, she deserves better

Originally Posted by Wakeup

So...you get married so that you can have that woman for the rest of your life...then you turn around and cheat on her, almost guaranteeing that if you get caught, she'll divorce you.

You make so much sense...



I will never get married, I don't date. I've made these choices because I know exactly what kind of person I am, and I refuse to make a vow to be faithful to a wife for the rest of my life, like you did, knowing that you'd violate that vow anytime you feel like it, and be perfectly happy to lie to your wife about it.

You're the one who is too scared to make that decision for yourself, so instead, you make all the decisions for your wife. You want to be a man? Tell you wife, right now, that you're cheating on her. Give her the choice to do with your marraige what she will. You're trying to convince us how morally pristine you are in this whole thing, go have this conversation with your wife.

That's what I thought...scared little boy...who has no idea what true love entails...

Real men who love their wives don't make excuses about this...they have honest conversations with their wives before they do it, to see if she's okay with it, so there are no excuses to make.

[HoustonDan]

Originally Posted by ognob

2 rules.

rule 1. don't get caught
rule 2. if you are dumb enough to get caught and have a S.O. be prepared for that relationship to come to a screeching halt if she finds out.

Exactly what I was going to say.

Seriously, if you don't have the balls to walk away at any given moment, this isn't for you.

[anita]

Few options:
Give her all your passwords.
Send her flowers at work with cute notes.
Literally be her slave for a while.
Write a letter/poetry to say how sorry you are and how it would never happen again.

Get down on your knees publicly, tell her how much you love her and beg for forgiveness.

These work better than excuses, IJS.

[futile]

Originally Posted by Wakeup

I will never get married, I don't date. I've made these choices because I know exactly what kind of person I am.

So you never loved someone enough to ask her to be part of your life, so how can you see the issue in my point of view? I don't think you are qualified to judge here since you never been in my position.

And you are saying that any man who cannot commit himself to be with just one woman for life should never get married? I wonder how many man like that are out there. I am not complaining that you keeping yourself out of gene pool, but I don't think our species would even exist if every man has to follow your view. Do you really believe your ancestor are like you? If they are exactly like you, you would not even exist. It is sad to hear you are deciding not to get married and have family because your natural desire as a man make you unfit to do so.

Look both you and I are result of million of years of evolution (I am assuming you believe in evolution). So as a man, I feel same way you do in most part. How can you expect me to turn off some parts of me just because I am married and you are not. I don't think we are not made that perfectly, in fact nature made us opposite so that man can spread their seed. So for generations, that man has been doing just that. , Prostitution was legal in all cultures. At some point, monogamy was thrown in to marriage equation as requirement and and now men are left to solve the equation where there is no solution.