Ladies, what are your two biggest client problems?

[EZ.]

Originally Posted by Slim.

Especially since we are all adults...you know it just amazes me the amount of drama I see coming from MEN especially...pulling scams, or trying to pull fast ones on providers. WTF? You're going to get discovered and outed, so why bother? And this shouldn't be something that people use to get the most for less. This is a business, like any other, and should be treated as such. Ideally, both parties would enter in with a certain amount of respect for one another, but we all know that isn't the case. And it's sad. It would be SO much easier if everyone played by the rules and followed them.

Baby, you are seeing the wrong guys. You might not be asking all of the right questions during screening. If this is happening to you, it is time to out some of them.
You are right about "both parties". I'm always nice, never try to negotiate but in the past, women have taken my kindness as a sign of weakness.

[MaxiMilyen]

Originally Posted by Slim.

Especially since we are all adults...you know it just amazes me the amount of drama I see coming from MEN especially...pulling scams, or trying to pull fast ones on providers. WTF? You're going to get discovered and outed, so why bother? And this shouldn't be something that people use to get the most for less. This is a business, like any other, and should be treated as such. Ideally, both parties would enter in with a certain amount of respect for one another, but we all know that isn't the case. And it's sad. It would be SO much easier if everyone played by the rules and followed them.

The thing is, no, many ladies do not in fact, say anything or make it known that many gents will/do take advantage. Expecting some of these gents to understand anything other than their own primal desires, which eat them up day and night to the extent of never having anything else on their mind, is not unreasonable to know or believe, because I've encountered more than a couple. However, it is delusional to believe that they are being outted as someone you wouldn't necessarily want to see. I've had ladies tell me a gent was safe and OK, but come to find out that was not the case. They were pushy, demanding, and tried to do things I don't, nor would ever provide, to the point of being insistant. These fellas just didn't realize how much more insistant I am than they were....lol. And, these gents knew not to use me as a ref after, and you can trust that I did let the provider giving the OK know it and what I thought of her giving me that OK.

I've had a cpl try not leaving the correct rate, and I'm not talking about confusion with my fee, but guys who outright tried to rip me off $$$. Those would finally come back and do so, because yeah, have no doubt, I would let everyone in every forum know what a bad thing that was, who they are, and don't mind telling them that. LOL. Being a reputable provider does have it's perks and teaches some about the kind of lady they can or can not get away with some of the stuff that others allow them to. ijs

Sex for food is another one of those things. Go eat dinner for free with these gents if ya want, but when a gent tells you a reputable lady has fooled around after, kinda makes ya wonder about some of the reputable ladies as well. Cause, sure I eat, why not have dinner with someone I know if I ain't got nothing else going on, but if ya tell me what so and so does when you ply her with food and alcohol, the odds of breaking bread with me have just decreased, cause I am not so and so, looking to give gents who hobby, a good time for food, just for my own personal experience of anything. I don't f*** for food! Thanks for thinking of me, but I suddenly have a hankering for a peanut butter sandwich. Ya know?

Trust your intuition...it's kinda important! ijs

[Kayleehotchick]

Not sending their ref's and the provider contact info in pm's.

Texting at 3 am. That is a quick way of me never seeing you. It's pisses me off.

[blaeese]

This is a great and informative thread. Thank you ladies.

[Angel Ryder]

Originally Posted by EZ.

Baby, you are seeing the wrong guys. You might not be asking all of the right questions during screening. If this is happening to you, it is time to out some of them.
You are right about "both parties". I'm always nice, never try to negotiate but in the past, women have taken my kindness as a sign of weakness.

I never said that I am constantly getting screwed over. I don't and my screening is fine. I am just referring to the things I see on the board, but thanks for the concern

[atf searcher]

I find it interesting that one the biggest problems is hagglers. Ladies I've got news for you the reason guys haggle is because you keep giving them discounts.

I never use to haggle because I thought it was disrespectful, classless, and that the provider would not be motivated to give me her best effort. That was before I found out that dam near every guy that contacts a provider negotiates a lower rate. Negotiating is so common now that most guys feel like a shmuck if they pay a providers posted rate.

I wouldn't mind paying a providers posted rate if I knew that it was a fair rate but , why would I pay it when I know every other guy is getting a discount.
Now when I contact a provider I start out by haggling just like every other guy.
This is not my choice at all it is just the way you providers are doing business.

[MaxiMilyen]

Originally Posted by atf searcher

I find it interesting that one the biggest problems is hagglers. Ladies I've got news for you the reason guys haggle is because you keep giving them discounts.

I never use to haggle because I thought it was disrespectful, classless, and that the provider would not be motivated to give me her best effort. That was before I found out that dam near every guy that contacts a provider negotiates a lower rate. Negotiating is so common now that most guys feel like a shmuck if they pay a providers posted rate.

I wouldn't mind paying a providers posted rate if I knew that it was a fair rate but , why would I pay it when I know every other guy is getting a discount.
Now when I contact a provider I start out by haggling just like every other guy.
This is not my choice at all it is just the way you providers are doing business.

Yeah, and how'd ya find that out? Maybe from someone(s) trying to drive our rates? Nah, that would never happen! Hobbyists are grateful to have quality ladies, right? They would never interfere by spreading false info and such, cause they have integrity and all that jazz!

Hmmmmm........welcome aboard the crazy train you knew was wrong to begin with. Good news! You're not alone. Lot's a gents here can't connect the dots and see what's happening, so they begin to believe everything internet pimps tell 'em! They convinced ya. Gotta love a follower! Thanks for letting us know.

Lemme tell ya like it really is....LOL. I and others don't see guys who ask for a special, but it didn't take us long to see the pattern and discover the source(s) and actual reasons.

Ladies, I can only suggest ya raise your rates and give specials when they ask. That way everyone feels like they got bargain p**** and we aren't trying to rip 'em off. We don't want anyone to feel like one guy got something he didn't, do we? And we really are grateful to these generous fellas, so let's show 'em how much, shall we?

Sorry if that seemed a bit passive aggressive, but you just confirmed what I've been trying to say.

Edit: FYI: specials and discounts are provided for all kinda reasons. Could be we need a little extra because our kid got sick, our car broke down, or we wanna show gratitude to regs, or just because we are feeling generous and grateful to the group as a whole. That's our prerogative, not your right to demand or pressure us into offering you.

[benssin]

Like many have said, this is a great thread and fantastic read into the mindsets and experiences of providers. Learning, knowing, or being reminded about these things might go a long way for some to fully enjoy themselves. Besides, walking in another's shoes (or in this case high heels) is one of the time tested methods for us humans to build better understanding about one another. It's a good list for us guys to keep in mind before engaging in future sessions with these wonderful ladies (well, if you care about that sorta insightful corrective behavior lol)


I thought about one curious addendum question while reading, although it's directed at us clients: out of these "biggest problems" listed previously, which one do you have the MOST and LEAST trouble avoiding? Put it another way: Which problem do you do most often see/catch/remember yourself struggling with or doing as opposite to least often? Especially, when you STARTED your journey in the hobby. Cuz let's face it, we were all newbies at one time or another, right? Guess I'll be brave enough to answer my own question then.


Least. Easy. I have enough respect for any provider I see to want my body to be hygienic, clean, and fresh around them. Period. I try to be as well groomed as possible too. Guess I way too subconscious about that sort of things.


Most. Well. I don't think I actually ask about forbidden things/haggle too often (I , especially around here) and not an 'emotional vamp' (had no idea what the heck that was either), but I guess since I'm being brave and stupid about answering this (to be used against me later I'm sure...), I'd say the one I've struggled with most in the past was that whole 'time waster' thing. I guess due to me being overly cautious, or not having references, wanting to get more information out of sheer curiosity or indecision, or just trying to feel out what I was really into at a given time. A lot of that might stem from a failure to act thing, if that makes sense. Also with me not knowing what the hell I was doing. Who knows. *shrugs* Anyway, as I got more experience and confidence, it became easier for me to act because I knew more of what I wanted/how I liked it, so I'm a lot more aware of not "wasting" time and getting down to the business of the business. :P


So, any other 'brave' soul wish to take a shot at this? LoL. Anyway, thanks all for contributing and like others have said, keep it up. *waves 'Hi Slim.*

[Alastair]

I love these kinds of threads - to be clear:

1. Pay the donation amount listed, no questions asked
2. Clean up thoroughly before a session
3. Don't send a bunch of annoying texts - set up a date, answer questions, show up

Got it!

[MaxiMilyen]

Originally Posted by Alastair

I love these kinds of threads - to be clear:

1. Pay the donation amount listed, no questions asked
2. Clean up thoroughly before a session
3. Don't send a bunch of annoying texts - set up a date, answer questions, show up

Got it!

Ain't it a shame that some gents think that they gotta let us in on news we don't know about or even when they believe we are incapable of comprehending what we see as it happens, and then have the nerve to blame us, for what does happen?

It'd be nice to just state something and not have to point out ALL the why's and hows, but I understand the confusion and the necessity. So, I'm happy to do so, if it keeps me and all the other ladies from being subjected to a bunch of things we shouldn't have to be if we choose not to. And, if it makes it easier for the gents to seek and find the experiences they each individually desire.


Happy And safe hobbying to one and all.

[EZ.]

Originally Posted by MaxiMilyen

Yeah, and how'd ya find that out? Maybe from someone(s) trying to drive our rates? Nah, that would never happen! Hobbyists are grateful to have quality ladies, right? They would never interfere by spreading false info and such, cause they have integrity and all that jazz!

Hmmmmm........welcome aboard the crazy train you knew was wrong to begin with. Good news! You're not alone. Lot's a gents here can't connect the dots and see what's happening, so they begin to believe everything internet pimps tell 'em! They convinced ya. Gotta love a follower! Thanks for letting us know.

Lemme tell ya like it really is....LOL. I and others don't see guys who ask for a special, but it didn't take us long to see the pattern and discover the source(s) and actual reasons.

Ladies, I can only suggest ya raise your rates and give specials when they ask. That way everyone feels like they got bargain p**** and we aren't trying to rip 'em off. We don't want anyone to feel like one guy got something he didn't, do we? And we really are grateful to these generous fellas, so let's show 'em how much, shall we?

Sorry if that seemed a bit passive aggressive, but you just confirmed what I've been trying to say.

Edit: FYI: specials and discounts are provided for all kinda reasons. Could be we need a little extra because our kid got sick, our car broke down, or we wanna show gratitude to regs, or just because we are feeling generous and grateful to the group as a whole. That's our prerogative, not your right to demand or pressure us into offering you.

At the beginning you say you don't negotiate and edit by saying you do.

WTF are you saying to someone, like me, that has never tried to negotiate a rate? Damn, I must be the lone idiot in the crowd. Maybe not alone but still an idiot. A fool and his money are soon parted.

[MaxiMilyen]

Originally Posted by EZ.

At the beginning you say you don't negotiate and edit by saying you do.

WTF are you saying to someone, like me, that has never tried to negotiate a rate? Damn, I must be the lone idiot in the crowd. Maybe not alone but still an idiot. A fool and his money are soon parted.

1. I love it when someone twists my words.
2. It's never necessary to curse at me in order for me to get your point
3. You have no point whatsoever, because when I offer any special, it's not a negotiation, it's a gift! Can't speak for anyone else, but I show gratitude for a gift, and happy to see others get 'em too!

[EZ.]

Originally Posted by MaxiMilyen

1. I love it when someone twists my words.
2. It's never necessary to curse at me in order for me to get your point
3. You have no point whatsoever, because when I offer any special, it's not a negotiation, it's a gift! Can't speak for anyone else, but I show gratitude for a gift, and happy to see others get 'em too!

1. "Ladies, I can only suggest ya raise your rates and give specials when they ask. That way everyone feels like they got bargain p**** and we aren't trying to rip 'em off."

I don't have to twist your words. That statement is pretty clear to any guy that has never negotiated.

2. Somehow, I find that disingenuous even laughable that you are offended. Yes, I have a dirty mouth. All of the debutante providers might want to put me on your "do not see lists" because it ain't going to change.

3. So when a guy sends you a request for a lower rate, it isn't negotiation, it's a gift?

For the record, I have never been out looking for "bargain p****".

[Angel Ryder]

Hi benssin! *waves back* Okay, so as far as the specials and such...Maxi is right. We have the right to give gifts to clients when we choose to and I know I can't speak for the rest of the ladies on here, but I don't get mad when someone asks me about a special when I have something posted.. It's just the haggling, especially right before an appointment, that is annoying. The "I get your rate is XX but would you take YY because that's all I have in my pocket." So basically you assumed I would accept the less rate because that's what you show up with, since you assume we think all money is good money, right? Well it's not. It's not just about the money. It's the lack of respect that's tagged with it. You didn't respect me enough to bring the full donation because in your mind, I'm not worth as much as my rates stated, so you decide that you are going to measure my worth yourself and give me what you think I deserve.

[EZ.]

Originally Posted by Slim.

Hi benssin! *waves back* Okay, so as far as the specials and such...Maxi is right. We have the right to give gifts to clients when we choose to and I know I can't speak for the rest of the ladies on here, but I don't get mad when someone asks me about a special when I have something posted.. It's just the haggling, especially right before an appointment, that is annoying. The "I get your rate is XX but would you take YY because that's all I have in my pocket." So basically you assumed I would accept the less rate because that's what you show up with, since you assume we think all money is good money, right? Well it's not. It's not just about the money. It's the lack of respect that's tagged with it. You didn't respect me enough to bring the full donation because in your mind, I'm not worth as much as my rates stated, so you decide that you are going to measure my worth yourself and give me what you think I deserve.

I've had that happen to me in the business world. It might be worse because I've already done the work and then get shorted. Amazingly, they get upset when I cancel the account. I don't want to hear, "It's just business" when someone screws me over.

I treat all of my clients the same. I don't give discounts to one over the other. I give the same 110% effort to each and demand the same amount. I think that any of my clients would be offended if they found out that I was giving a break to one and not them.