What would you do if you found out your girlfriend was a provider.

[lgbsfu]

My mind is going all over the place with this.I think I could share if I was confident I was
the one and only, but how would I know. Deception would be the killer I think.
Lost an so once because she could not share, my fault.

[whitechocolate]

When your wife is a provider who continues to provide, you have to accept that she is going to have incredibly intense and passionate love making experiences that will drive her wild and leave her drained after many orgasms. My exprovider wife would tell me everything and it would really turn me on. That is the way you need to be. You realize you can trust her when she is like that. I would think that would be the way it would be with my avatar gal and me if we ever hooked up)))))

[Looking41today]

Originally Posted by whitechocolate

When your wife is a provider who continues to provide, you have to accept that she is going to have incredibly intense and passionate love making experiences that will drive her wild and leave her drained after many orgasms. My exprovider wife would tell me everything and it would really turn me on. That is the way you need to be. You realize you can trust her when she is like that. I would think that would be the way it would be with my avatar gal and me if we ever hooked up)))))

You're a better person than I am. I couldn't do it. Curious, though, in that relationship were you allowed to see other providers as well?

[Randy4Candy]

Providers deliver illusion and, if things are working, get to have great sex.

Hobbyists seek fun and/or acceptance and, if things are working, get to have great sex.

A provider friend of mine says that people in the hobby are broken.

I think that people in the hobby aren't any more broken than most of the others but we do take action where the others do not.

How do a professional illusion giver and a professional illusion consumer find honesty? Are either equipped to do so?

[whitechocolate]

I was allowed to see other providers which I rarely did as my wife had a lot of female non-providers friends and lovers who I did enjoy. My wife and I did a lot of threesomes and foursomes.

Yes, providers do deliver illusions and hobbyists seek out those illusions. If your wife is great at creating illusions and enjoys sex fully, she is going to often get caught up in those illusions. In my experience, the best sessions a hobbyist can have is when he is totally into an illusion as love making can be intense. During the session both provider and hobbyist can be totally into an illusion but when the session ends, they need to leave the fantasy behind. Some providers and hobbyists can do that successfully and can have a very successful marriage. My exwife had hobbyists fall in love with her all the time and she would fall in love with many of them creating sessions that both truly loved. My avatar gal, Bliss, is a very very intense lover and many guys are truly in love with her including myself which makes for incredibly hottt sessions but she knows how to leave those feelings at the door.

[whitechocolate]

Bowdown2me, I think the initial deception by your gf or any provider can be successfully dealt with and should not preclude pursuing the relationship. Jealousy issues on both the part of the provider and bf can be worked through as well resulting in a very hotttt relationship. While that may be the exception and not the rule, a lot depends on how mature each of you can be about an open relationship and great honest communication going forward.

[TexasDave555]

If you found out your wife was without you knowing? That would be a betrayal of trust on the first order.

If it was something she wanted to do or was doing when we met, and full disclosure from the on-set? That would be quite different.

I may or may not have an issue with it. Depends on the relationship. A girlfriend would probably be no issue, but I might have an issue with provider as a wife if we were already married and she wanted to do it. Again depends on the relationship.. in a best case scenario there wouldn't be an issue with all the agreement that we came first (no pun intended) and it was 100% separated from our personal life. Phone completely off once she left work, appointments etc not getting in the way of personal time that kind of thing.

[bowdown2me]

I should clarify certain things on this thread since I was the person who started it... and seems to have had alot of attention. ..
First off I HAD no clue she was a provider.... she told me she had a regular job... like 9 to 5... I was honest with her about this hobby and my endeavors with it currently and in the past... though I did stop seeing other girls while in a relationship with her... for one because I was very much attracted to her, and she did satisfy my sexual appetite per say, because she was is a dirty little freak... and im sure many of you that have read this thread know of her or have seen her... I must say it was the dishonesty about the whole situation that lead me away from her... not her job... had she been upfront from day one things would have been so much different.... I have no problem sharing my toys and its actually a turn on for me to watch and she knew this as well... so if someone is as open and honest as I was eith her about my sexual lifestyle why would she be so dishonest with me...
I must say even after finding out... I gave her the benefit of the doubt and tried to overlook all the lies to try and make it work... even going ad far as playing with her and some clients... which was a blast.... but it was always in my mind what she did...
I HATE LIARS... there is no justification for lying to someone when they are as open and honest as I was....

[whitechocolate]

I personally think that with a gf you can work things out after initially deception if she can be fully honest with you going forward. Married couples do it all the time, some successfully and other not. You have to be able to more past deception if the benefits in the relationship are high. Just my opinion and I know others have done it with provider deception.

[largontx]

I enjoy dating providers
Lets me know I still got it!

[TexasDave555]

Originally Posted by bowdown2me

I HATE LIARS... there is no justification for lying to someone when they are as open and honest as I was....

Eh... can't base it on how honest you were. That's putting your own morality on someone else. However, I am a firm believer in honesty is the best policy and if someone is totally honest and upfront about things, there is a lot of wiggle room available. If its something in the past or even current, the least someone can do if they respect you is be honest. From there is a short walk to mutual respect and trust. I find it best not to judge or condemn, but to take people as they are. I'm far from perfect and people do make mistakes. Kinda hard to bounce back from things like that when you get hit over the head time and time again for things you can't change. In the end a successful relationship, be it g/f, wife or casual lover is best handled with a clean slate on the now and the future. Its when the lies or secrets continue when the problems are created. Ongoing deception is like a cancer.

I've found that sometimes it takes time for someone to open up like that, but once they do things tend to go far better than they expected and looking back they realize there was a whole lot of ta-do about nothing.... assuming the other person is reasonable. But that is a whole 'nother thread

[samantha thom]

Originally Posted by bowdown2me

I should clarify certain things on this thread since I was the person who started it... and seems to have had alot of attention. ..
First off I HAD no clue she was a provider.... she told me she had a regular job... like 9 to 5... I was honest with her about this hobby and my endeavors with it currently and in the past... though I did stop seeing other girls while in a relationship with her... for one because I was very much attracted to her, and she did satisfy my sexual appetite per say, because she was is a dirty little freak... and im sure many of you that have read this thread know of her or have seen her... I must say it was the dishonesty about the whole situation that lead me away from her... not her job... had she been upfront from day one things would have been so much different.... I have no problem sharing my toys and its actually a turn on for me to watch and she knew this as well... so if someone is as open and honest as I was eith her about my sexual lifestyle why would she be so dishonest with me...
I must say even after finding out... I gave her the benefit of the doubt and tried to overlook all the lies to try and make it work... even going ad far as playing with her and some clients... which was a blast.... but it was always in my mind what she did...
I HATE LIARS... there is no justification for lying to someone when they are as open and honest as I was....

If you two met outside the hobby, how could she be honest with you that she was a provider?? When I was single and available, I didn't go around telling guys I went on first date with what I actually do for a living. I can't do that. For discretion purpose, to protect me and my family, my normal life.
But when I did meet someone that I wanted to be in a serious relationship with, I told him everything. I had to tell him...out of respect for him. I can understand why she didn't tell you from the very beginning.
But it's up to you whether you can tolerate what she does. You shouldn't accept it and support it....but if you are in love with her, and want a future with her...you can choose to tolerate it as long as she is in the hobby for the right reasons... like maybe she has financial goals and to support her dependents? Not for the wrong reasons such as supporting 'bad' habits or stuff like that.

[Bestman200600]

Be glad she's not charging you. Oh, your making her car payments and paying her rent?

[pyramider]

What a minute ... providers have lives outside the hobby? Who would have thunck it? There had better be some taint involved.

[Georgy9803]

Start using a cover with her.