I'd like to publicly apologize for my comments in chat

[Matador]

That last post by SD2011 is to a great degree my fault. I have been looking over this thread and the review for some time and I got the two confused. I gave a warning in the review that no more "quacking" would be allowed without proof

http://www.eccie.net/showpost.php?p=...4&postcount=72

I got it mixed up and thought he had continued quacking when in fact he had never posted to the review. Earlier today, I apologized to him by private message, recognized my mistake and removed the infraction that he didn't deserve. He seemed genuine in accepting my apology and I consider that issue now resolved.


It is hard to differentiate the good guys from the villains in this drama thread. Maybe there aren't any villains or good guys, just people who got carried away with their posts and accusations. On most days, this would simply amount to a he said/ she said drama thread that eventually stops getting hits when a new drama pops onto the radar screen. Typically the mods would simply let it run its course and be done with it, with little to no involvement. Unfortunately things aren't that simple this time, but I wish they were.


The drama didn't start in chat, and it wasn't dman DDV, Shep or THN who got this drama rolling. It was a member of staff who brought this review up to the Dallas mods' attention, suggesting it was a fake review. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this action, when the intention is to protect the integrity of reviews. We usually encourage others to help in this regard. Everything after that report just went downhill in this case. If you want to blame anyone first, blame some of us for not holding up our roles as moderators of ECCIE . We have a mod quacking the review while we were investigating it, we have another mod discrediting a new member in public for daring to make a harmless offer to help. Those are not our roles as forum leaders and these two individuals need to take an introspective look and determine if they are serving the community at large, or are serving a master of their own choosing.


Not that this matters much to many of you, but here is an interesting number from the front page

Members: 200,316

With these many members, it is extremely important that we extend the same customer service to every member. The staff can't afford to show preference to their close hobby friends at the expense of others. On behalf of all members of staff, I'd like to offer an apology to all members for multiple failures on our end. In an ideal world I shouldn't have to offer this apology, and the mods that needed to apologize should be typing their own mea culpa, but after three days of waiting, I am done holding my breath for their post. For the record, Namssa was trying to assist me while I researched the initial claim, so I am not referring to him.


The worst part of all this, is that whether intentional or not, this whole episode paints some of us as willing to be proxies so that some members with off board conflicts can initiate attacks against other members of the site. Again, that is not what a forum leader does and we should be careful of what actions we take..


Regarding the parties involved, there are too many things going on here that do not add up. To put one issue to rest, the sharing of IPs and computers has been examined in detail and the explanation accepted. The staff can't find fault on any of this. On the dates that this occurred, THN contacted a site administrator explaining her access issues.and revealed she was using a friend's computer and connection to test if the access error was on her end or if it was a board-wide issue. Someone doing this deceptively would have been nailed on this one, but there was a record of the communication with staff. She actually announced to us of what she was doing weeks before we questioned her actions.


I also questioned the two of them in many different ways and their answers checked out OK. I ran as many internal checks as I could behind the scenes and things are fine. There is no acceptable evidence to continue smearing their names about a fake review or the abuse of multiple handles.


THN's claims in chat, per all the comments posted here, were out of line. She has recognized that ( posted this thread ) and repeated herself on follow up replies. While we can sit here and cast stones at her, I have seen worst reactions from other members when their character was under attack. Most male members can just drop their hobby account and create a new one. Yes, so can many women. The difference is that when a woman is well established, she can't fool anyone for too long. They don't have the luxury of pulling a disappearing act as easily as the guys can. I understand her getting angrier than the guys. Her board identity and business is deeply attached to the handle.


dman, I am scratching my head on this one. For what is worth, normally I tend to side with a guy when things are this murky ( guys tend to be here for years while the women tend to have a short presence on the board ), but this whole scenario confuses me. The evidence shows that you play this game fast and hard ( no pun intended ), but it is like you forgot the fun aspect of it with this one. For starters, the scenario that this review casually came up for conversation,.the timing of it, along with the review being brought up to the staff's attention is just too convenient. The fact that you seem surprised at her reaction after you questioned the credibility of the review is silly. Look at how many posts you have invested on both the review and this thread. Compare her posts and yours and on many aspects, it could be said you both mirrored each others. The glaring difference is that you have a support crew it seems. I won't invest more time in recalling things from this thread, and I don't blame you for getting mad at being called certain names, but you should be able to pause momentarily and see how some of this was caused by your careless comments. Just like you know that missing appointments affects a provider's income, you should know that a conversation or *rumor* can have a deep impact on a woman's ability to make a living. Again, you seem to have forgotten the fun aspect of the hobby in this mess.


Shep, I don't know what to say. When I have had contact with you. you have always seemed like an OK guy to me. You tend to bring a lot of information to the site. When I have reached out to you, I have always felt you have given me straight answers. I haven't reached out to you in this one because I really could not find reasons to do so. Per the comments posted here, you were not in chat when your name got thrown out there. If I had been the one who was called that, my reaction might have been more visceral, I think. My main concern here is that this whole thing doesn't look like an spontaneous disagreement that just blew out of proportion, with many proxies involved and I will leave it at that for now. You know how to reach me if you wish to continue this portion of the post in private conversation. We should all strive to make this site a welcoming place for those who choose to partake of this hobby.


Hopefully all parties involved have learned something from this, and can now move on.

[JohnnyYanks]

Impressive post, sir.

I had gotten the impression in my time on this board that site management really does not give a shit about user experience.

I will now have to consider further.

[Taylor Sims]

Matador I am proud of you. I hope you have a wonderful day and a great week. Hugs and kisses TP

[SD2011]

I agree. Matador is a splendid guy and I think they did everything they could to make things right given the tools they have. For me, I apologize for jumping on the thread drama bandwagon, getting caught up in it, and bashing someone I don't even know and hadn't ever done anything to me (THN).

Best wishes to all! (friend and foe alike).

[Adabear]

Madador for MOD of the year. I think it is impressive that a mod would take the time and effort to not just research a situation but, also to explain it to the best of their ability. If this threads does nothing else, it shows that at least one mod is on the ball and cares about the "service" this site provides. Kudos to you brother....

[novacain]

This is the model for mods that should be followed, saddly I doubt it will be. It's too bad that Matador is having to clean up the shit that seems to have been spread by another mod(s) that's either lost sight of the job, or are now using it to further others agendas. I sure hope that the owership looks into all the failures sighted in this and takes the proper actions.

[LoveNHorny]

Thx Matador. Nice work. 'Preciate the mine down.

Regards,
LnH

[7691wij]

You hurt my one feeling......how about a discount ?lol

[phildo]

This is as long and convoluted as a Kitty/Merci thread! Who needs Kindle when you have ECCIE?

Whatever the real deal is/was has been lost in the casserole of "thoughts" on the subject(s).

I think a LOT of reviewers, both legit and sockpuppeteers alike could use a creative writing consultant, but one who can voice either gender equally well and then all you'd need to watch for is the descriptive bullshit of the client's prowess and the provider's flawless beauty!

[Taylor Sims]

My post yesterday was not to offend or be rude to anyone but to Thank Mr Matador for the professional way he posted and letting the board know what was going on. He took time out of his life and to do that was awesome. I am very sorry if I offended anyone and I hope everyone has a great week. I will say it again. Thank you Matador for the post and how you were professional.

[TexTushHog]

I've always said that there is no job more thankless than that of a moderator. Matador's tenacious work on this thread just goes to show that even though moderators are most often noticed when they make a mistake, that they nevertheless work very hard to make our experience on here much better.

On those few occasions where I have disagreed with a moderator and thought that the disagreement was significant enough to comment, I've generally tried to make voice my disagreements in private (unless it was a matter of board policy going forward that I felt merited group discussion). Likewise, I try not to be more of a troublemaker than my personality naturally makes me. Because I do appreciate, at least to some extent, how difficult and time consuming their job is.

Let's all keep these factors in mind as we go forward and try to keep their workload manageable.

Great job, guys. We don't say that enough.

[MrKlean]

Thumbs up Matador!

Eccie drama thread of the year! (I didn't like the KL thread!)

[LovingKayla]

Oh man do I see myself in this. I'm sure it's been covered that publicly bring attention for the hundreds of us to see that only 20 saw is a really bad move.

I only wanted to tell you that yes, that is apparently the truth. <- experience

[LovingKayla]

PS read threads before you post. I've never nailed that one. <- haha no sex pun intended.

[slims099]

Originally Posted by Jules Jaguar

This is why I rarely go in chat and participate in discussions anymore, DRAMA!

Chat is a bunch of suck ups. Sooooo boring. Some people are funny, but it's mostly dirty old man jokes from the 60's.