When a regular no longer is, or can be, your regular

[Tatiana M.]

I know that there have been many threads pertaining to having a regular. I apologize if this has been discussed before, I've only been participating in the boards for about a month now. Anyway, my question is, what would constitute ending a courtship with a regular? Either with a provider or a hobbyists? Unfortunitely, I've had to tell a couple regulars I could no longer see them, the reasons were various in nature, but it's never an easy thing to do. Some were becoming a little too attached and jelouse, some started to abuse my time to the extreme (example) paying for 1 hour but expecting an overnight, some started to hassle me for BBFS, some invaded my privacy and wanted to know my addresse and other personal details, and one gent did an illegal substance around me. Out of all of these circumstances, I've only had one regular get angry when I told him I could no longer see him. The rest took it in stride, they were mature about it. And frankly, I'm surprised. So what have your experiences been like? Guys, did you have a regular provider but had to end things? What was the reason? Ladies, what about you? What have been your experiences in the past? Having a regular is great. But what about when you can no longer see that regular? How does it end? What is the best thing to say? Did you lie, or did you tell the truth? My curious mind wants to know what y'all have to say. Luv, T

[Guest062614-2]

Tat, your reasons are sound. Stay on course and be safe.

I've ended regulars when they became less entertaining or more distant. While we may have clicked 3-4 times, I stop calling when the spark is gone or they assume they can end the session early. It often seems they stop trying. I haven't seen any dangerous behavior. That's never been a concern.

[oliassunhillow]

I wouldn't say I've ever had "a regular" - I tend to prefer to sample, versus always going to the same girl - but I have had providers that I've had to stop seeing in one sense or another.

I was on vacation out of town, made arrangements with one BP girl, and it was obvious from about 5 minutes into her arriving that we connected, and we were both very attracted to each other. For me, it was fireworks and stars and every other metaphor for instantly connecting intensely with someone. Yes, I know women are being paid to pretend to be interested, but either she really sold me and was AN AMAZING actress, or it was legit. Trust me, shit went down between us that clearly indicated she was as into me as I was into her.

She agreed to two consecutive overnights (at very, very cheap rates, which I took to mean "I need to make money, but I genuinely want to see you as well), and we spent considerable non-sexual time together outside of the paid time over the next couple days.

We exchanged contact info and kept in touch after I left town. She then offered to make a very long trip for several days to see me. I asked her if it was paid time, or a social visit. She said she needed to get paid, but gave me a crazy cheap price for what was being offered. I had to tell her that I would love to see her, but I was developing feelings and was genuinely attracted to her, and at that point I needed to not be paying for her time. If she wanted to come visit me, I would love to see her, but it needed to be because she wanted to see ME, not because I was paying.

We still talk and keep in touch, but I haven't paid to see her since that initial two day meeting. For me, hobbying is fun, sexual, an adventure. It's not a place to get your regular sexual or emotional needs met. Once it moves into that realm, for me, either the relationship has to transition into something different than provider/client, or I need to stop seeing her.

[The Drummer]

Originally Posted by oliassunhillow

I wouldn't say I've ever had "a regular" - I tend to prefer to sample, versus always going to the same girl - but I have had providers that I've had to stop seeing in one sense or another.

I was on vacation out of town, made arrangements with one BP girl, and it was obvious from about 5 minutes into her arriving that we connected, and we were both very attracted to each other. For me, it was fireworks and stars and every other metaphor for instantly connecting intensely with someone. Yes, I know women are being paid to pretend to be interested, but either she really sold me and was AN AMAZING actress, or it was legit. Trust me, shit went down between us that clearly indicated she was as into me as I was into her.

She agreed to two consecutive overnights (at very, very cheap rates, which I took to mean "I need to make money, but I genuinely want to see you as well), and we spent considerable non-sexual time together outside of the paid time over the next couple days.

We exchanged contact info and kept in touch after I left town. She then offered to make a very long trip for several days to see me. I asked her if it was paid time, or a social visit. She said she needed to get paid, but gave me a crazy cheap price for what was being offered. I had to tell her that I would love to see her, but I was developing feelings and was genuinely attracted to her, and at that point I needed to not be paying for her time. If she wanted to come visit me, I would love to see her, but it needed to be because she wanted to see ME, not because I was paying.

We still talk and keep in touch, but I haven't paid to see her since that initial two day meeting. For me, hobbying is fun, sexual, an adventure. It's not a place to get your regular sexual or emotional needs met. Once it moves into that realm, for me, either the relationship has to transition into something different than provider/client, or I need to stop seeing her.

Great, expressive writing skills, and very eloquently put.

[Tatiana M.]

Originally Posted by ROC

Tat, your reasons are sound. Stay on course and be safe.

I've ended regulars when they became less entertaining or more distant. While we may have clicked 3-4 times, I stop calling when the spark is gone or they assume they can end the session early. It often seems they stop trying. I haven't seen any dangerous behavior. That's never been a concern.

I do try my best to stay on course. BBFS, illegal substances and trying to pry into my personal life are all reasons to end the fun. I just think that safety needs to come first before anything else. It upsets me to know that providers will stop trying once they think they "got" you. Personally, if a regular is respectful, fun, enjoyable and sane, he should be rewarded with a little extra time, not the opposite. of course, a little "extra time" shouldn't be misconstrued to be an overnighter either.

[Tatiana M.]

Originally Posted by Tatiana M.

I do try my best to stay on course. BBFS, illegal substances and trying to pry into my personal life are all reasons to end the fun. I just think that safety needs to come first before anything else. It upsets me to know that providers will stop trying once they think they "got" you. Personally, if a regular is respectful, fun, enjoyable and sane, he should be rewarded with a little extra time after several dates, not the opposite. of course, a little "extra time" shouldn't be misconstrued to be an overnighter either.

[offshoredrilling]

put them to work. really. Give them a hook-a-do-list like a honey-do-list. Most will run.

[jt2510]

I saw a girl who became a regular of mine.. We really connected as friends and as a hobby , I reviewed her on here trying to help her out, and she became too busy for me.. I still see her every once in a while.. But very hard to get an apt with her

[Franklin4]

JT, im looking for a new friend, care to share her name

[Guest121613]

it was more difficult, when I started the hobby, it was difficult NOT to let attachment develop with a really good provider. To me a really good provider can make you believe. I have matured more and realize that this is fun, and I enjoy exploring and developing my sexuality. I have managed to do one long date (6hours), and had an awesome duo as of late. I am at the point where my favorites, we can call ourselves friends, nothing more. I might even accept a johnny-do list LOL. However I am still paying friends of course, as that is line not to be crossed. I sort have a policy, where the max I will see same person no more than twice per month to keep the engines cool.

[Guest121613]

ha! i didn't answer the OP's question,

obviously, attachment is a reason to stop seeing a provider

but also, if growth does not occur in sexual arena. if we don't try new things (i don't mean unsafe things), then I might stop seeing a provider.

[jt2510]

Franklin... Read my reviews not hard to figure out

[cny6969]

Great questions Tat.

From my prospective I like the idea of a more regular relationship with a provider than jumping around from one to another. Over the years with this hobby I have found there are three types of reactions after leaving an appointment. 1) I wish I could have that hour of my life and the $$ back again! 2) That was pretty good and I might want to see her again. 3) That was awesome and I can't wait to see her again!

For me anyway it just makes more sense to become a regular with the #3 type than to keep bouncing around with the 1's and 2's plus I like the comfort level that familiarity brings.

Obviously these are "fantasy dates" and you always have to keep that in mind but you make some really good points.

Jealousy - Remember the "Fantasy Date" part.....she has many other clients, you are not the only one with a fantasy.

Attachment - Again..."Fantasy Date" With familiarity comes comfort and possibly a genuine feeling of liking the other person but know where the lines are and don't cross them.

Personal Questions - Know where the lines are and don't cross them. Everyone needs a level of discretion and separation from their hobby and personal lives.

Expecting extras - That is a question of respect.....

[Maximum4]

People are crazy. People have their own agendas. I can't imagine trying to have a relationship with a provider beyond the basic point of it being a business transaction.

Trying to start something "real" on a foundation as dicey as the hobby is a recipe for hurt and or disaster in my book.

I think you are wise to dismiss any regular you don't wish to deal with.

My .02

[vern0064]

Originally Posted by offshoredrilling

put them to work. really. Give them a hook-a-do-list like a honey-do-list. Most will run.

Hey you don't run when you get your lists? LOL, didnt you say you call to see if there is anything that needs to be done!! Hmmm Is OSD hooked or just baited!!!