Brandy's Bedroom: Issue Two!

[TxBrandy]

Sorry it's a little late but....

http://brandysbedroom.com/BBRZine/BBR07152010.pdf

Thanks for your positive support!

BD

[littlejoe]

Brandy,

Good job on a professional looking newsletter - it's obvious you spent quite a bit of time on it.

I'd like to start with some disclaimers: I recognize that you are a well known and respected lady, whose opinion carries a great deal of weight to many people. I'm not a noticeable presence or "major player" on these forums (or any other site). You're very outspoken and clear in your beliefs, and spend a significant amount of effort educating people and promoting the lifestyle you believe in. The time I spend in these circles is, for the most part, selfishly dedicated to increasing my personal pleasure and happiness.

That being said, I can't help but disagree with an item in your section about screening. You state that the screening information from any new potential client should include (at a minimum) his full legal name and his home phone (in addition to any cell phone he has) -even if he can also provide references.

This opens the door to the lady easily learning his address, employer, wife's name (and maybe even her cell phone and employer), and names and address of his relatives. The techniques you describe are sufficient to get this info, not to mention what a $10 on-line background check can reveal.

Granted, if a guy is legit and behaves himself, then there should be no harm if a reputable lady has this information. I'm not smart enough to come up with a suitable analogy, but it seems that this somewhat resembles the government's argument that law-abiding people should not mind surveillance cameras and satellites, monitoring of financial transactions, wire tapping, and national ID cards. How comfortable would you be providing this information to potential clients, even well-known and reputable ones?

Keep in mind the recent local drama. Six months or a year ago, it would not have been conceivable that either party involved would abuse such knowledge. I don't know if such abuse actually occurred. I'm just saying that at one time, some people would have told you there was absolutely nothing to be worried about in regards to two such respected people sharing so much personal information. Now more people will tell you the opposite.

It also seems that the advice you give in your newsletter conflicts with what you are trying to achieve by establishing a "repository" of okay-to-see names. It is my understanding that you are creating a system whereby a lady can quickly approve a guy with a minimal of information. I'm not criticizing such a list - I think it will be a great tool - it just seems to contradict your other advice.

I hope I haven't gotten myself ostracized from you and your friends, and I'm not sure why such a seemingly small item touched a nerve with me. I realize in this day and age, with a little money and effort, most anyone can uncover detailed information about most anyone else - so much of the above is moot.



(At this point, would I be out of line to ask if the screening information I did send is sufficient to get approved by you? )

[TxBrandy]

THANK YOU! Thank you for reading the newsletter and thank you for picking out that subject. I knew somebody would and I'm glad you did because I also disagree with it. HOWEVER, I'm not a newbie. Experience and observation has taught me a lot over the years.

The article itself is not my writing, but something I copied and edited down. I think the newsletter would be a bit biased if I did all the yapping and didn't let other voices be heard. The website where the information came from (the link is after the article) has a lot of useful information especially for newer girls that don't quite know how to begin this thing we call screening. I hope some of them go to that site and learn more. Hobbyists as well can read it as it's not a private site for ladies only but a public information site.

There is not a Nationalized Standard Operations Procedure for screening. Each lady screens to her own comfort level. Some ladies do require your full name and will ask for ID upon arrival, some ladies rely on references only. As the article states though, not every man is honest and some WILL try to make up references, use false screen names, whatever to try and get around this safety net.

Whereas I also disagree, some ladies may not. The article is meant to make you think, and to offer newer ladies some tips on the process.

NOW, do you mind if I use your above post in my next issue? I would like to address the points you made. I think it would make a good counter article.

I know it contradicts the RR (ref repository) which I am trying to build up, but the RR is still in infant stages and there are so many hobbyists that aren't listed and I'm sure there will be many who won't want to be listed.

[littlejoe]

Whewww... I woke up this morning thinking "Damn it LJ, why did you make that post. You're never getting laid in south Texas or by any of Brandy's friends ever again."

You're more than welcome to use any of my posts. I figure that once I post it here, it's available for all the world to view.

Originally Posted by TxBrandy

...There is not a Nationalized Standard Operations Procedure for screening...

There should be. SOPs for this field would be aweomse, and could prevent soooo many potential problems.

[AdventureAdams]

I have never heard about this reluctance to give a provider your Full Name until I came to this board. What is up with that?

[littlejoe]

For what it's worth, here's how I handle asking a lady for that first date, and the screening information I supply.

I read any instructions or information posted by the lady. I want to make sure I understand what she expects. I also want to make sure that I won't have to ask her any uncomfortable or inappropriate questions.

I like to make first contact by e-mail. I try to keep the wording respectful, to the point, and somewhat business-like (not too intimate or assuming).

I provide my ECCIE ID, and if appropriate an ID from another site the lady might use. I provide most recent references, along with a couple details that should help with the recollection of those dates. I provide a brief physical description of myself (approximate age, race, height, & weight) to make sure she know's what to expect (after all, I don't want her to go into shock once the sees how damn good looking I am).

I simply tell the lady I'd love to meet her, or get togher for a couple hours. I try not to pick a parituclar day until she agrees to see me, to give her plenty of time to vet me without any pressure. I make 100% sure she is confortable with me before setting a specific day & time. I learned this lesson when I travelled out of town specifically for a date that I thought was confirmed, and was cancelled on at the last minute becasue she couldn't verify all my info and wasn't confortable with me.

On one occasion a lady asked about money and what services I wanted. I told her I was just asking her for a date, and not looking to engage in any illegal activities. I apoligized for the misunderstanding, and haven't had any more contact with her.

Personally, I love the concept behind sites such as P411 and Brandy's Reference Repository. While I wouldn't want certain personal information to be available on such sites, I think more than just references and okays would be helpful for the ladies: physical description, behavior and mennerisms, inappropriate actions, preferences, fetishes, etc. Ladies - wouldn't this make it easier for you to decide if you want to meet someone?

I always thought girls should get to review us guys also. After all, turn about is fair play. I just don't think I'd want to read reviews about me, I probably couldn't handle the truth....

[littlejoe]

Originally Posted by SkylarCruzWantsYou

I have never heard about this reluctance to give a provider your Full Name until I came to this board. What is up with that?

My reluctance is based on two things:
1) The potential for abuse.
2) More detailed records = more potential ammunition for LE.

Just because you know that you are honest and have integrity, doesn't mean that others know it.

I have provided my full name (and even employment information) in the past. Since then, I've come to realize more fully the dangers involved, and the fact that there are other (safer) screening methods. That being said, depending on the lady, I might still be willing to provide some amount of perosnal information - but I will always act with caution and with my safety in mind (just as ladies should).

I'm guessing "Skylar Cruz" isn't your real name. How many hobbyists know your real name?

Please understand, I very strongly feel that you have the right to ask for anything you want, and to refuse to see someone for any reason. Each individual should only do what he/she is comfortable doing. Both the ladies and the men are placing themselves at risk when we meet someone (even if those risks are not equal).

[gimme_that]

[QUOTE=littlejoe;429827]....I try not to pick a parituclar day until she agrees to see me, to give her plenty of time to vet me without any pressure.[QUOTE]

A good day and time might also be the thing that makes her respond or send a reply to you quicker. Leaving out info like that might put you in a less priority as shes getting guys emails and phones with solidified times. I think at the very least that should be in first email.

[QUOTE=littlejoe;429827]On one occasion a lady asked about...what services I wanted. I told her.....not looking to engage in any illegal activities.[QUOTE]

After I'm screened or she deems me safe via phone, if her reviews or info was inassessible to me I'll ask specific services if I cant find them via her reviews. I dont see it being an issue then, and after going through the rigors of screening if she didnt feel comfortable discussing it, I would take it as overkill and a sign she probably couldnt accommodate me anyway. I dont want to have to inquire in session, 2 late then.

[charlestudor2005]

That says it all.

I will not give real life personal information to a provider, period. The risk, however small, has too many drastic consequences. I would lose my family, my home, my job, and quite possibly all relatives and friends. And I'd be obligated to pay child support and alimony for some time. Not worth it. And don't say, "a provider won't do that." All it takes is for one drama queen provider to get a thorn in her side to ruin my life. And I would have no recourse.

So, for me the easiest way to get through screening is by being a member of P411.

Are there some providers who won't take P411? Yes. Are there some who take P411, but demand real life personal information in addition? Yes. Are they going to see me? No, because I won't give up that kind of information. Some of them I would love to see, but not enough to risk my life. Ladies may feel like they are risking their safety (maybe even their lives), but when I weigh the relative pros and cons, I gotta go with my life's safety, and let the lady control her own safety.

[John Bull]

Originally Posted by charlestudor2005

That says it all.

I will not give real life personal information to a provider, period. The risk, however small, has too many drastic consequences. I would lose my family, my home, my job, and quite possibly all relatives and friends. And I'd be obligated to pay child support and alimony for some time. Not worth it. And don't say, "a provider won't do that." All it takes is for one drama queen provider to get a thorn in her side to ruin my life. And I would have no recourse.

So, for me the easiest way to get through screening is by being a member of P411.

Are there some providers who won't take P411? Yes. Are there some who take P411, but demand real life personal information in addition? Yes. Are they going to see me? No, because I won't give up that kind of information. Some of them I would love to see, but not enough to risk my life. Ladies may feel like they are risking their safety (maybe even their lives), but when I weigh the relative pros and cons, I gotta go with my life's safety, and let the lady control her own safety.

Word and a half

[TxBrandy]

Originally Posted by littlejoe

I think more than just references and okays would be helpful for the ladies: physical description, behavior and mennerisms, inappropriate actions, preferences, fetishes, etc. Ladies - wouldn't this make it easier for you to decide if you want to meet someone?

It also prepares us on how to handle someone. I just like to know what to expect. The mentioned characteristics has less to do with whether I want to meet you or not and more to do with how to make sure the experience is as pleasant as possible. I met a guy once, his references checked out just fine, but nobody warned me that he had a colostomy bag (look it up if you are not sure what it is). This would not have prevented me from seeing him but the situation could have been handled a little less embarrassing on both our parts had I known.

Dam I had something else to say and now it's gone....