Feral hog pack is back in Katy near Bush Park

[pxmcc]

tonite was more hoggish adventures. on the stretch from highway 6 to Barker Cypress, i saw two black figures ahead, but they were on the trail! so i barked at em, but they didn't flee, but instead parted, so i thought to myself, oops, my bad..

it was 2 shirtless guys walking (way tf out there tho) wearing matching dark shorts. i apologized and told them from a distance i thought they might be feral hogs which i've been seeing in the area, and they said no biggee all good.

2 minutes later, not 30 feet to my left, i see a huge mass of dark objects right there in the grass just standing out there casually in the open. this time i waited til i was almost on top of them to bark, and they took off in a big hurry..

total census for the night? 3 separate feral hog packs, 5 singleton males, and a doe. i think katy has a mushrooming wild pig problem..

some of you enterprising bow hunters or trappers could probably get a special license to take on this wild pig problem. i can tell you for sure that once Katy figures out what they're up against, they're not gonna be over-frickin-joyed..

i heard gunfire in the distance. i'm guessing probably there are already some pig hunters out there in George Bush Park, with or without the proper permits..

(a couple weeks back, during the daytime, i took a shortcut from briar forest at highway 6 to the bike path that cuts through Bush Park. it was a super fun ride. i kept waiting for the path to become so awful i'd have to turn back, but it never happened. i bet the hunters i heard tonight were on atvs on that very same path, or a connector to that path, and were cleaning house on some wild hogs.)

as for me, i'm gonna start keeping bear spray and my battle axe handy. if i'm changing a tire in the middle of nowhere in the middle of the night with no cyclists or joggers nearby, last thing i wanna see is a nosy pig pack stopping by to say hello..

right now it is apparent that out of 4 million people, i am one of a tiny handful who is down for a solo midnight ride without lights in the back woods. i get it h-town. not everyone needs mayhem just to feel like they're actually alive. and then there are the rest of us, probably 12 in number at most..

[jan-w]

Feral hogs are invading Texas en masse and are capable of destroying the eco-system and untold property damage but the state is more concerned with more laws against hookers and johns.

[pxmcc]

ok so this is some funny shit. there's a small lake called Barker Cypress Reservoir located approximately at Briar Forest and Highway 6. last night, i considered a night hike all the way to the George Bush bike path, but then figured it was too damn far. so i opted to circumnavigate the lake instead. i figured shit could get exciting, so i made sure my phone had plenty of charge and i brought 2 bamboo walking sticks. bamboo is an incredible material because it's strong but super light weight. that turned out to be a good call..

so i have my cell light shining from my pocket and a walking stick in each hand, and i'll be damned if i didn't see a water moccasin every 40 feet. i avoided the ones i could, and those that were too dicey-one was a good 5 feet-i used my bamboo walking sticks to encourage them to slither away in to the water..

i could see there was "stuff" in the water, like big stuff. i joked to myself that maybe it was the loch ness monster, but i knew what it was, so i was on my guard. don't get too close to the water, i told myself..

and then it happened. we saw each other almost simultaneously. had to be at least an 8 footer, maybe 9, 10 feet away, just lounging there by the bank, right in my path of travel.

so i have a philosophy on predators. you do not run. you do not flinch. you show no weakness. in fact, you attack. and that's exactly what i did.

i gave him a triple cocktail: a rage roar, my light right in his eyes, and i did a stutter step towards him, with both bamboo sticks crossing and advancing. i was probably more scared than he was, but he didn't know that. he does a giant leap into the water and hit it like a fat guy doing a cannonball from a high dive. the water was turbid mud for a good 30 feet. i gave him one more stutter step, but he was way tf outta there almost instaneously.

then i bent over and started laughing and could not stop. finally, i reminded myself there might be more gators ahead, and that got me back on task. nope, just more water moccasins..

children, do not try this at home. you will die, i promise..

anyone else have some gator adventures?

[Michael8219]

Back in the day I used to ride the serpent at Astroworld. Now I just want some beautiful fillies to ride Mikey’s mean purple toad for at or below the price of a 1-day pass or even a multi day pass at Disney World.

Understand that the ride is at least 18 minutes long, requires some maintenance, and rumbles like a HOG…

[pxmcc]

Originally Posted by Michael8219

Back in the day I used to ride the serpent at Astroworld. Now I just want some beautiful fillies to ride Mikey’s mean purple toad for at or below the price of a 1-day pass or even a multi day pass at Disney World.

Understand that the ride is at least 18 minutes long, requires some maintenance, and rumbles like a HOG…

noice one sir..

i still can't believe no one on here has some gator adventures to report. i know we got some country boys on here who can easily show up us sorry city slickers..

[Bowser98]

Originally Posted by pxmcc

noice one sir..

i still can't believe no one on here has some gator adventures to report. i know we got some country boys on here who can easily show up us sorry city slickers..

In my early 20’s, I was working at a sugar mill in South Louisiana. I was on a crew of dudes building a new pumping station for a waste water oxidation system. Showed up to the job site early one morning after a heavy rain. Found a young 4’ gator in the pump station’s concrete drainage moat. One of the welders showed up just as I was pulling the gator out. Came up with the idea of stuffing the gator into one of the side boxes of the welding truck, where he kept his torch tips. Couple hours later, with about 10 dudes in on the gag, the welder sends his helper (40 year old dude) to the truck for a new torch tip. Helper opens the side box and reaches in. Gator jumps and tries attacking helper. Helper jumps back screaming and takes off running away from the job site. I had to go pick him up in my truck about a mile down the road.

[Unique_Carpenter]

Bear, Moose and Coyote, Oh My.

px,
It's all in doing it correctly. Your flashlight was the deal for you.

Methods are not the same for various critters, as it depends.

Back at my old vaca spot in the northern frozen wastelands, black bear, moose, and coyotes.
The bear(s) always take off, have never had an issue.
There's been a cow moose close by for decades, we assume one replaces another. If there's a calf, that's the only worry there. Never ever hack off a gal with a young'un. One Touron totaled their small car a while back. Moose got up, gave herself a shake, and walked off.
The coyotes get shot on sight as Touron's that go hiking in the back woods have lost pets (small dogs) which is the official reason. Every neighbor has a large dog or two, and firearms. Local Sheep-herders Assoc makes donations from time to time to various local organizations.

Touron = tourist moron

[pxmcc]

Originally Posted by Bowser98

In my early 20’s, I was working at a sugar mill in South Louisiana. I was on a crew of dudes building a new pumping station for a waste water oxidation system. Showed up to the job site early one morning after a heavy rain. Found a young 4’ gator in the pump station’s concrete drainage moat. One of the welders showed up just as I was pulling the gator out. Came up with the idea of stuffing the gator into one of the side boxes of the welding truck, where he kept his torch tips. Couple hours later, with about 10 dudes in on the gag, the welder sends his helper (40 year old dude) to the truck for a new torch tip. Helper opens the side box and reaches in. Gator jumps and tries attacking helper. Helper jumps back screaming and takes off running away from the job site. I had to go pick him up in my truck about a mile down the road.

that's hilarious..

how do you catch a 4 footer? grab his tail and just hold on real good?

[winn dixie]

Back to the wild hogs...
They're fun to rope and hog tie 'em. Literally.

[Bowser98]

Originally Posted by pxmcc

that's hilarious..

how do you catch a 4 footer? grab his tail and just hold on real good?

Grab him right behind the head with one hand and the tail with the other hand.

[pxmcc]

Originally Posted by Unique_Carpenter

Bear, Moose and Coyote, Oh My.

px,
It's all in doing it correctly. Your flashlight was the deal for you.

Methods are not the same for various critters, as it depends.

Back at my old vaca spot in the northern frozen wastelands, black bear, moose, and coyotes.
The bear(s) always take off, have never had an issue.
There's been a cow moose close by for decades, we assume one replaces another. If there's a calf, that's the only worry there. Never ever hack off a gal with a young'un. One Touron totaled their small car a while back. Moose got up, gave herself a shake, and walked off.
The coyotes get shot on sight as Touron's that go hiking in the back woods have lost pets (small dogs) which is the official reason. Every neighbor has a large dog or two, and firearms. Local Sheep-herders Assoc makes donations from time to time to various local organizations.

Touron = tourist moron

hilarious!

i wouldn't consider a moose a predator. i would define a predator as an animal that would be happy to have you for lunch, or at least have your pets or livestock for lunch.

any touron who jacks with a moose deserves everything he gets, and messin' with mommas with the baby around also typically doesn't end well..

black bears typically don't attack humans, but i think they would still qualify as predators, all things considered. brown bears and polar bears definitely qualify.

coyotes won't take on a human typically, but they'd be happy to raid your chicken coop, and so i'd call them predators as well.

among sharks, i think bulls, tigers, and great whites would all qualify. i would never flee or flinch from any of them and would instead take an offensive, aggressive stance.

gators and crocs have killed enough people that i would classify them as predators. that's why i took an aggressive tack towards the 8 or 9 foot gator i stumbled across. i definitely got under his skin lol, although i have to admit my pulse increased more than a little bit.

curious if any other country boys have a gator tail (sp. lol) to top or match Bowser's. that was some pretty epic shit.

[pxmcc]

so this isn't news of the feral hog pack(s)-i trust they are well-but rather a related cycling adventure. if such tales interest you not, read no further..

so i excoriated myself for preparing too late on wed to cycle to my appointments on the west side. in disgust, i awarded myself a walk from bw8 to highway 6, and if i could, back again. my feet griped and i told them to stfu or i'd make it worse for them by spreading ghost pepper juice everywhere on them wide and far. they suddenly had no complaint..

i made it onto my bike. i noticed my back tire was low, but thought, hell, i've a brand new tire and tube, and of course Sun and Ski Sports Katy Mills had retained my tough af tube protector, Mr. Tuffy, after i flatted on the way to Sealy a week before. plus, i've a CO2 cartridge and get this-yup it's really a thing-a fresh can of Fix-A-Flat, so no worries..

so after my work gigs, i left for katy. getting close to Barker Cypress, i hear "womp womp womp" and think, motha fucka, that sound means a kinda bad day at the office. well, at least i'm not a helo pilot like my brother, where things can get..exciting, real quick. i check for Mr. Tuffys. nope, the Sun and Ski dude trashed it. mother fucker..

i discharge my CO2 cartridge, and the tire fully inflates! right before it all leaks right back out..

Fix-A-Flat? just nope..

so i walk it back to Highway 6 and check Uber. i can get a ride to NRG for only 39 bucks. hmm, maybe. then i look at my bike. 39 bucks, but mountain bikes, like the Irish, need not apply..

so i look for a truck or van. yup, 5 min away, and only 60 bucks?! 60 bucks, for a ride to NRG? i can hear my old man, "what, are you nuts? you're gonna spend 60 bucks-an 8 hour shift on minimum wage-just cause you're too much of a pussy to figure out a better way?" and i think, ya, just no..

so i check gps. only a 7 hour walk! hell, i'll be home by 2am. when was the last time you went to bed before 2? like, never..

so i get on my bike and try the one good tire thing. the tube fucking gets wrapped up in the chain. i'm going forward, while my wheel stops. i go flying. goddam you isaac newton and your 1st law. i end up with a huge welt on my right thigh.

couple of cyclists are chillin nearby when they see me go over the handlebars. they didn't laugh, but probably had to exercise quite a bit of restraint to avoid guffawing..

i ask them if they have knife or scissors to cut this infernal tube. only one speaks english, so he translates. the second guy pulls out a mighty serviceable blade. tube cuts like butter, but it's so fucked up i have to keep on cutting. the Spanish speaker comes over and holds the bike-without prompting-while i keep cutting and pulling the rest of the tube. finally, we get it done. i hand him the knife and say, "Muchas gracias, senor," and begin the long 7 hour walk home with an original eta of 2am, but already way later.

after walking for awhile, i wonder about riding on 1 good tire. i'm gun shy after my wreck, but i figure at least i can beat 2am, maybe..

i'm worried about wrecking again, so i'm hesitant. but i finally begin to believe, and adopt a standing-ride style. cept only thing is my 1-tire bike wonder is noisy as hell, and every time i encounter walkers or another cyclist, i bark out: "rider up. only 1 good tire," and then bust out laughing. i hear back, "oh, i'm so sorry," and other southern hospitality expressions of sympathy..

my bike was demonstrating the wheel 1.0. it was round-ish, except for where it was more like a square. inventor, get yo ass back in that workshop. yu can do way better, sir..

when i make it to bw8, by not taking Briar Forest as recommended, i find out my route was slower than walking, and now my eta is 2:24am. i was slower riding the scenic route than walking the direct one. like, wtf..

by the time i get to the memorial/briar forest junction, now my eta is 3:02. damn these scenic routes are costing a pretty penny..

so i start on my usual back routes, and my bike is so noisy, i get embarassed. i walk through quiet neighborhoods because i just can't bear the embarassment of waking everyone up on my one-wheeled wonder. i plot my route according to which route has the fewest residential neighborhoods. willowick/fountain view seems like a good choice except for the pretty new bars with all the testosterone and booze and dudes pimpin leading to some nasty ass wrecks. a slow cyclist will be a sitting duck, and worth 50 points at least. i figure i betta b on my damn toes..

i stop at Whataburger. any sandwich with honey bbq is scandalous. i even decide, given the fuckery of the occasion, to forgo ghost chili peppers. i opt for the chicken strips honey bbq sandwich with an unsweetened ice tea. frickin amazing..

renewed, i get back on my totally fucked sorry ass Rock Hopper. everytime i go through anything residential, embarassed about waking the dead and getting arrested for "disturbing the peace," i walk my bike. otherwise, fuck it, a few dead people appeared to bitch about being awoken from a deep slumber. "sorry, my bad," is the best i can do..

it was game on when there were no sleeping homeowners nearby. otherwise, it was a quiet peaceful walkabout through the calmest 'hoods in h-town..

i'm like, i got this. maybe. after traumatizing the ears of any poor souls nearby, i rolled up to NRG in my one-wheeled wonder at 1:07am, beating my original walking gps by 53 min. and i slept for a good 11 hours straight, at least..

maybe i should take a spare tire and tools next time..

on 2nd thought, just naw. that's no fun at all..

[pxmcc]

so i'm interested in finding some real predators that won't back down just because it becomes clear to them that i give zero fucks, take the center of the path (or stage), and am coming to decimate them and wipe them and their kind off the face of the earth. (well not really, you know..)

so i had my gator interaction with an alpha gator 8 or 9 footer, but when i came at him, he just jumped in the water, motorboating away like a pussy or what happens between your favorite set of twins..

had my interation with both the whole feral hog pack(s) and/or just alpha males double or triple my weight, and when i came at them, well you know that story. they just ran. wtf..

and there was the snapping turtle that tried to bite my head off, but when i showed my lack of appreciation and total disrespect for his efforts at the grumpy fella when i brought down a pair of bamboo walking sticks across his grumpy skull, the poor sorry fucker was overmatched and fled. but ya, fuck you peta. he woulda severed your hand, and maybe your arm too, if you were me..

so i'm wondering where i can meet a true alpha predator, which when i motion to attack, real or fake, doesn't run, but stands his ground, and then tries to kill me. any suggestions would be appreciated..

love the great horned owl on buffalo bayou between wilcrest and kirkwood, but of course he wants no part of me even when i play his compatriot's calls from google videos and try to piss him off by out-hooting him. he just hoots right back..

the black buzzards are totally underwhelming. they circle over me thinking i'm going to collapse on my 18 mile route, and land nearby, until i motion them in and advance. then they just fly away, and quickly. wtf, they're almost my height..

and the turkey buzzard was hugely massive, and constructed from leftover parts by lucifer himself with a nose to smell carrion over the horizon. and yet he still fled when i advanced for nothing more than a showcase-worthy portfolio..

then there are 2 grumpy mammal mofoes on either side of wilcrest-i'm guessing they're probably raccoons-but lately they've been letting me pass without even a snarl or growl. like, wtf..

"oh it's just that crazy mofo who shows up at ungodly hours. he's cool, no worries.."

then there was Yukon, one of my older brother's German shephard who was 1/4 grey wolf. when i locked myself inside his snowy 2 acre enclosure in Rhode Island around Christmas, he must've figured i must be sorta dangerous, cause i gave him one order after the next, and he complied. i think i caught him off guard, cause he wasn't used to crazy fucks locking themselves inside his 2 acre outdoor wolf's cage..

finally, there is Jack, one of my other brother's-the Jayhawk Aircraft Comnander's- German shepherd who everyone was afraid of except my brother. i smiled at him like i smile at death, and he was like, wtf is wrong with this person. we wrestled for a while and had a jolly good time. after that, he saw me as a member of the pack who you do not fuck with, although my brother was still the only alpha, and i couldn't get Jack to "leave it" when i put out a delicious treat, like my brother can. Jack was like, "hell naw, you'll never make alpha rank. just be happy i don't kill ya." point taken..

so where in the heck can i find a legit alpha predator who will call my bluff, and not run when i advance for the kill? (well not really for the kill. these legit gangstas somehow have me way overrated. really i'm just a big pussy..)

[tyboy1]

Try a Moose or full grow Buffalo. They should mow your ass down.

[pxmcc]

Originally Posted by tyboy1

Try a Moose or full grow Buffalo. They should mow your ass down.

i think you're on to something sir..

but since neither would eat you, my goal would be to make them friendly, not to make them run.

Timothy Treadwell had a nice run play-acting being a grizzly, but eventually his bluff got called..

his girlfriend wouldn't run like he screamed at her to do and got eaten as well. he shoulda at least given his gf bear spray for insurance.

anyone have any shark run-ins? there are 3 man-eaters: whites, bulls, and tigers. i'd be curious to know how they respond to an aggressive human. this sounds nuts, but i think whites and tigers would run, but bulls, which are much smaller, are more iffy in my opinion. fun fact: the (mostly) true story that Jaws was based on actually involved a bull shark, not a great white.

tigers are supposed to be super curious. i've heard accounts of shark experts who kind of chill and goof off with tiger sharks. wild. my opinion on which of the 3 could most easily bite you in half is a tiger shark, not a great white.

a shark expert who swims with all 3 man eaters was asked what his diciest encounter was. he said smaller sharks to begin with, but his closest call ever and what scared him the most was actually a male leopard seal. he described the leopard seal as "a true psychopath, and smart af to boot."

a female leopard seal felt sorry for a scuba diver, so she gave him a stunned penguin. he let the penguin go, so then she brought him a dead penguin. even leopard seals can have empathy for us sorry humans..

then someone asked when the shark expert was the most scared. his answer had nothing to do with man eaters; it was the first time he did public speaking to share his shark adventures. man eater? no worries. talking to some people? now that shit is scary..

i got a kick out of a tiger shark hiding behind a boat while being stalked by a couple of killer whales. mr tiger was literally scared shitless, and with good reason. about 5 minutes later, he got his liver ripped out of his body and went on to meet his maker. that liver must be tasty. livers from sharks, and tongues from blue whales. frickin picky eaters..

i'd never swim in a shark zone where the water is too murky to see anything. in order to intimidate any monster, you at least need to meet eye to eye so he knows you're not afraid, and you can advance if he looks like trouble. prey don't advance on predators, so if you advance, then you're not prey. hopefully..