Why "No Black Men, Please"?

[guest090512-3]

As I scan through the ads here, on BP and elsewhere, it seems like I see this a lot: "No black men, please" or "No African-Americans."

I guess it could just be personal preference (for my own part, black girls don't really do much for me), but it seems to be more widely spread (ha!) a policy to just chalk it up to pure preference.

Can anyone explain?

[Bigh1955]

Oh boy Admiral...this turned into a real can of worms in the national forums...

The ladies who list usually say it's just a matter of personal preference. Socially and politically acceptable (PC).

I'll be PC and leave it at that, but I suspect there is a "larger" reason. LOL

[Farmers Daughter]

Changed mind and won't comment.

[Guest102612]

For me it is a personal preference.

[frank1234]

I had a provider (who has over 300 reviews) tell me it isn't what men have (size) but the way they use it (intensity - to put it nicely). She does see AA clients she knows but not new guys cause it sometimes it takes time to recover more often than not. I'm sure that works for all types of men but that is what I was told.

[strawberrycar934]

In general, morals and values are pretty odd. Gauge, a porn star with a cute body did some very hard core movies - which involved 3 somes and groups. I read or heard a story once that she had to receive permission from her family to "act" with a black man.

Her family had no issues with porn but porn with a black man...

Not sure what it means that I replied to this thread of that I can recite interviews about pornstars... Oh well, just wanted to add to the conversation.

[MsElena]

Does it really matter if us ladies don't see someone who's black, red or purple?

We don't ask you why you don't see certain types of ladies. Its your preference and it doesn't affect me or any of the other ladies you choose not to see.

[guest090512-3]

I'm not judging anyone--I'm genuinely curious.

I also don't care if a provider I see does or doesn't see someone of a particular race, creed or code. I like to think of myself as an equal opportunity horndog.

But while I've noticed "no black men, please", I can't ever remember seeing "No white men"; "No catholics"; or "no libertarians."

Just wondering what I'm missing. Thank you to those who have provided some insight.

[MsElena]

So, Admiral.......tell me why you see a certain type of lady and not others.


OK, I'll bite and answer to a point. If this causes a big uproar, its not my fault.

A portion of black guys aren't respectful during the session, they also like to bitch about the rates, they try to get the lady to drastically cut the rates, they always say, "You should be payin me," they also try to recruit and they get awful rough at times.

Now, has this all been my experiences......no, not all, but a few. I'm stating facts from other ladies who have encountered this behavior. If you need further proof, I highly suggest taking 5 hours of your time to read this thread in the national forum:
http://www.eccie.net/showthread.php?t=315600

[Osolomio]

I think there are times that we all (and I mean all races, cultures, religions, and any other categories one can come up with) as human beings find ourselves equipped with certain and sometimes different preferences and prejudices (this is not an attack, just a fact of life).

We may consider ourselves as good persons and others may also see us as such. We may make a conscious choice to not be racists (as opposed to those who make a conscious choice to be racists), but find ourselves uttering words or thoughts that can be construed as or simply are racist.

I don't think it makes a person into a complete racist if this occurs. We can all fall prey to this. And as such we deserve to not be attacked for such utterances. But we deserve to have it pointed out that we have something racist caught in our teeth. And the one who points it out deserves to be thanked - assuming we find something racist caught in our teeth to be a social indiscretion, or worse.

That said, I once had a provider explain to me why she asked me over the phone if I was AA. I don't know if these were personal experiences or just some "Hooker wisdom" she picked up somewhere.

I will try to quote her as closely as possible after all of this time. "Sometimes a Mexican guy will steal your money and run away. A black guy who steals your money will punch you and steal your purse too. But most white guys who don't pay just run away from you."

Personally I find the thought objectionable. But I don't have the experience(s) that she has had, so can I truly judge? The most obvious flaw in this statement is that the sample is likely too small to make such a sweeping statement. On the other hand, I did pick up an attempt to state that this only applied to that subset of men who steal services from a provider.

Are some cultures more accepting of certain levels of wrongdoing more often than other levels? Keep in mind that all cultures have subset levels of upper, middle, and lower income, education, age, religious devotion, etc. I think a hardcore gang-banger of any race is more likely to shoot or harm someone than a nice, helpful straight A student. But then we have exceptions like the young man in Colorado.

Is it easier to look at an exception of the norm and apply the label of norm when that exception is a member of a minority group? Are we more forgiving of one group than others? If the answer is yes, than perhaps we need to understand ourselves to be truly racist and deal with it (or not).

I guess what I'm saying is that when it comes to a sensitive issue as this, we should give each other a break and allow the freedom to state a thought and then have it examined without getting flamed or flaming another. We can look at ideas without emotion and passion and dissect it like an interesting, if foul, specimen. We really can.

I say this as a member of a minority group who has dealt with my share of racist comments, actions, and looks and snickers by the bushel full. Sometimes out of simple ignorance of fact, sometimes out of stupidity and often out of anger and hate. Does that give the above comments more weight? Is it racist or preferential if does?

[Taylor Sims]

Someone answered this already and she did a great job. There are some girls that have pimps and the pimps do not want their girls to see AA men. Some girls just dont want to see AA men and other reasons. I myself have no issues she an AA man. I have some great guys that are awesome and I couldnt ask for more repsectful guys. I believe this is a biz and we should look at the person inside not outside. I also believe that how I get treated means alot to me. I dont know why girls dont have other donts on their lists besides that like no fat guys, no skinny guys, no smokers, no white guys, no young guys , no old guys and etc. I believe as long as the guy is respectful and nice and pays what is the issue. Have a great week. Hugs and Kisses

[Bigh1955]

Personally I'd rather see a provider who meets with politically conservative AAs than with one who sees liberal Democrats...LOL

[schmuckenputz]

HUH ????... lol way too intellectual for me .... remember, I'm a fucking moron! lol

Seriously, who cares why?? Everyone is entitled to make choices in this regard and that works on both sides of the fence. The reasons are really nobody's business, and are likely equal in number to the number of people making the choices. ...

Originally Posted by Osolomio

I think there are times that we all (and I mean all races, cultures, religions, and any other categories one can come up with) as human beings find ourselves equipped with certain and sometimes different preferences and prejudices (this is not an attack, just a fact of life).

We may consider ourselves as good persons and others may also see us as such. We may make a conscious choice to not be racists (as opposed to those who make a conscious choice to be racists), but find ourselves uttering words or thoughts that can be construed as or simply are racist.

I don't think it makes a person into a complete racist if this occurs. We can all fall prey to this. And as such we deserve to not be attacked for such utterances. But we deserve to have it pointed out that we have something racist caught in our teeth. And the one who points it out deserves to be thanked - assuming we find something racist caught in our teeth to be a social indiscretion, or worse.

That said, I once had a provider explain to me why she asked me over the phone if I was AA. I don't know if these were personal experiences or just some "Hooker wisdom" she picked up somewhere.

I will try to quote her as closely as possible after all of this time. "Sometimes a Mexican guy will steal your money and run away. A black guy who steals your money will punch you and steal your purse too. But most white guys who don't pay just run away from you."

Personally I find the thought objectionable. But I don't have the experience(s) that she has had, so can I truly judge? The most obvious flaw in this statement is that the sample is likely too small to make such a sweeping statement. On the other hand, I did pick up an attempt to state that this only applied to that subset of men who steal services from a provider.

Are some cultures more accepting of certain levels of wrongdoing more often than other levels? Keep in mind that all cultures have subset levels of upper, middle, and lower income, education, age, religious devotion, etc. I think a hardcore gang-banger of any race is more likely to shoot or harm someone than a nice, helpful straight A student. But then we have exceptions like the young man in Colorado.

Is it easier to look at an exception of the norm and apply the label of norm when that exception is a member of a minority group? Are we more forgiving of one group than others? If the answer is yes, than perhaps we need to understand ourselves to be truly racist and deal with it (or not).

I guess what I'm saying is that when it comes to a sensitive issue as this, we should give each other a break and allow the freedom to state a thought and then have it examined without getting flamed or flaming another. We can look at ideas without emotion and passion and dissect it like an interesting, if foul, specimen. We really can.

I say this as a member of a minority group who has dealt with my share of racist comments, actions, and looks and snickers by the bushel full. Sometimes out of simple ignorance of fact, sometimes out of stupidity and often out of anger and hate. Does that give the above comments more weight? Is it racist or preferential if does?

[strawberrycar934]

Originally Posted by Bigh1955

Personally I'd rather see a provider who meets with politically conservative AAs than with one who sees liberal Democrats...LOL

I once saw a provide who asked about my politics. She was conservative and I am liberal. It was odd. I am not sure that it affected the session and I am not sure that it did not.

I never saw her again. And I am not sure that I did not see her because she asked and then again...

Perspective is great. Imagine, if the marketplace was such that the ladies selected. We, men, submitted requests (there was another thread eerily close to this topic). I suspect that we men would have developed selection criteria to suit our needs as MsE writes.

We have a fortunate position in that we can sit back, often times filter on criteria that is important for us and then make a selection.

[MsElena]

I'm just curious......

Why is it OK for some of you to question why and who we decide to see, but its not OK for us to question you guys on why you don't see certain ladies?

Personally, I don't care because its YOUR preference. But, I am interested in hearing your answers.