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Eccie Addict · 02-26-2011, 05:09 PM

.....doing this "thing" we do that could very easily ruin a future relationship you may start?

We got into a discussion here about how the hobby may have helped us. I want some opinions on how it may hurt you.

What I mean is this.... I've never been married and during the relationships I have had I never saw anyone else outside or in the hobby. What I've always been afraid of is what if I meet that perfect woman for me and because of all the different ladies I've seen and experiences I've had and the perfect fantasy woman I have created in my mind she can't possibly live up to that.

Each time we hobbyists/provider alike meet all these different people and share a part of ourselves in a way that is generally reserved for a relationship we give a part of ourselves away. For the most part these wonderful ladies give us exactly what we want, tell us exactly what we want to hear. How can my future wife compete with that?

Am I thinking too much... lol

Naomi4u · 02-26-2011, 05:19 PM

Most definitely not. The man I see are paying me to see them. While I have met some I'd date in my personal life who's to say that that person is really the perfect gentleman he is with me while he's at home? The men here know to act a certain way. Look at a provider's "etiquette" page.. lol! The fantasy is all paid for so no I would never compare a paid date to a real relationship. What I do hope for is that this hobby makes me a good wife one day.

lil_michelle · 02-26-2011, 05:26 PM

I don't think your thinking too much at all. A wife has to deal with kids, dishes, outside job at times... she has to go through childbirth and breast feeding and gaining weight and feeling exhausted. Through various times in a marriage she may feel like the ugliest woman on earth. How can she live up to someone who is always happy to see you, has no other distractions while you are with her and prepared for your arrival with lingerie, perfume and whatever else... It would be unrealistic to think a woman can be like that 24/7.

I have been the wife, and i have been the girl on the side..its easy to be the girl on the side and really hard to be the wife. I think we have to be extremely careful not to compare and expect that relationships will be the same.

just two sense worth

FatBastard · 02-26-2011, 07:09 PM

I don't think so....we are the sum total of our experiences and that makes us who we are....we are bowls of gumbo and each spice adds to the flavor....and those who take an interest in us are the seekers and enjoyers of our flavor...just don't force it, let it happen.

FatBastard · 02-26-2011, 07:18 PM

Maybe your future wife will give you exactly what you want...but she will never take it away, no matter how undeserving you act...true love is everlasting...a providers compassion often ends when the date is over...

(guys, I don't mean to be cruel...and I hope you know what I mean)

Valerie · 02-26-2011, 07:53 PM

I'm not sure how it would affect you men, but it has definitely ruined a past relationship for me

charlestudor2005 · 02-26-2011, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FatBastard

Maybe your future wife will give you exactly what you want...but she will never take it away, no matter how undeserving you act...true love is everlasting...a providers compassion often ends when the date is over...

(guys, I don't mean to be cruel...and I hope you know what I mean)

I couldn't disagree with this more. I have known a lot of women who lay down the law at the beginning of the marriage: you stray, and I'm gone and I'll take every thing you've got with me. Just downright vengeful. All you gotta do is take a look at Ginny Sandford or Sandra Bullock to see the attitude.

I think it's a pretty common thread among women and a growing trend. So, if you get caught, you lose everything...and I mean everything. Your assets are gone. Your children are gone. And you're publicly emasculated, so your balls are gone.

Shit, guys, we'll do anything for pussy, and lose everything for pussy. And we're powerless to prevent it.

FatBastard · 02-26-2011, 09:29 PM

CT, I think you may be misunderstanding EA's post. I thought he was concerned about the affect of a past on a future relationship not continuing to see providers post marriage. My point was that any future relationship might not be so concerned if true love is found.

Eccie Addict · 02-26-2011, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FatBastard

CT, I think you may be misunderstanding EA's post. I thought he was concerned about the affect of a past on a future relationship not continuing to see providers post marriage. My point was that any future relationship might not be so concerned if true love is found.

You're correct FB...

FatBastard · 02-26-2011, 09:32 PM

He is concerned with any woman measuring up to his past experiences that are trapped in his mind fantasy.

FatBastard · 02-26-2011, 09:37 PM

EA, these might be the issues that you have to resolve in your own mind. Try not to lay them at the doorstep of a potential love interest. You will find your true love one day and she will be forgiving. And you need to be forgiving as well; not only of her, but of yourself.

Chellablaine · 02-26-2011, 09:54 PM

FB, if your anything like me you wish you could have about 3 or more people and their qualities all in one person. Life is unfortunately not perfect. True Love will make up for what is lacking. If I ever find it again, which obviously in my past was not true love, so to rephrase, If I ever find True True Love, I would go without some of the qualities if I had to. I would imagine the hobby has taught you to appreciate many things in life.

This hasn't ruined any past relationships or hindered any future ones. The only issue I ever have is when a relationship goes bad in the beginning or after a lil bit of time, I think to myself...DAMN! I can get paid for f$*king him and I gave it away free to the asshole, lol. So Ive kinda put a price on it which I am working hard on stopping that thought process. Ive kinda gotten spoiled by wealthy men.

And by the way, I dont think you need to tell anyone in your future of your hobby activities. I think our past doesnt belong in our future. Ill never tell of doing this to "the one" if I ever meet him.

wildwooly1 · 02-26-2011, 10:01 PM

well you will always compare women to what you think is perfect..some kiss better than others, others give better bj, some have a better set of tits but in the long run its the one that you can live with and get along with that will become your soul mate.
the sex comes and goes and you finally figure out that the one that you can be friends with and carry on a conversation with is who you want to be around not the one that looks best or whatever.
Then its up to both of you to make it last...and thats a large order to fill..cause usually somewhere along the way you loose that loving feeling for each other..
so all the women you have seen might reflect a little on the one you wind up with because of one thing or another ..but it just boils down to which one you can live with.!

BreastLuvr · 02-26-2011, 10:58 PM

Know thineself and what you truly value in a relationship. Then, based on that knowledge, form an exhaustive laundry list of attributes you hope to find in a lifelong companion, ones with which you are compatible on the innermost levels of your being. To paraphrase Chellablaine, realize then that, if you can find 60% of those traits embodied in one flesh-and-blood mortal, you have done exceedingly well.

Chellablaine · 02-26-2011, 11:48 PM

Breastluvr, I met my soulmate once, and lost him, but I would have kept him forever. PTSD from his Military career was our demise. This also caused him to have performance issues, and his injuries and chronic pain. Sex wasnt that great but I didnt care, everything else was great and I was happy. But the demons won.

He would die if he knew I was in this biz now. And when my next soulmate comes along, he will never know.

Id love to have them(characteristics) all in once person, preferably a guy who looks like Jason Statham lol, but that isnt realistic. Ill take a not so great sex life if he is a REAL man in other ways. There has to be more than just sex.

I plan on taking what I have experienced here and in my real life and embracing a future love, hoping it has made me a stronger and much wiser person.