Coffee dates for meet and greet

[Dev Null]

I was chatting with a guy with a limited hobby budget, and he's looking for a few regulars after a long time away from the hobby. His strategy is to set up coffee dates as a one-on-one meet and greet. Maybe 20 or 30 minutes tops, and he always tips the gals maybe $40 to $60 for their time, proportionate to their advertised rates.

Any thoughts on this practice? Seems like a pretty good idea to find out if there is chemistry before booking a play date. Ladies, is this something you would consider? If so, what would you consider adequate compensation for your time?

I'm intrigued because it doesn't seem to be a common practice, near as I can tell. I guess everything has it's pros and cons, so I'm interested in what they might be before taking a page from his play book.

[UtrHottieATX]

I am always open to doing this. I think its a great idea for when the refrences aren't getting back to you and they aren't comfortable sending info. Especially if they dont have a presence on the board. There isnt anything illegal about meeting for coffee.
There just has to be a mutual understanding that if the chemistry isnt there you part peacefully and there isnt any bashing on either end.

[Britttany_love]

Just my personal opinion:

I'm a private person and quite frankly I like to keep my hobby business private and reserved for behind closed doors. I'm not keen on going out and advertising what it is that I'm doing. If I do it's because I wanted to and not because I'm needing to interview for a possible "date". I am out and open to most of my close friends and family but not with every single person in my life. I do not like awkward situations and having to come up with a lie on the spot.

Most of the clients I see are married, expect discretion and do not want any unwanted extra attention being brought their way. They are already taking risks meeting up bcd so why advertise it by putting a spot light on you by meeting out in the open.

A little scenario:

So say they are out..meeting up with a younger woman for coffee when you should be at work etc. This can draw the wrong attention. Yes I do understand that people can just have coffee and it doesn't mean anything however austin is quite small when it comes to running into the wrong person at that wrong time. I would hate to be married and out at a little "coffee" date and run into my wife's best friend. People talk and that might be hard explaining when pam tells your wife she ran into you and a cute 20 something flirting at the local Starbucks this past monday. Your wife says, oh really he said he was busy doing so and so. Now your caught in a lie, suspicions are up, a fight starts and well added bullshit for no reason. We as women always think the most extreme is circumstances such as these. We also tend to never forget and will always be on guard.

I think this sort of situation is ideal if you are trying to invest some time and money into a longer set arrangement such as a sugar baby relationship where compatability is more important but I find it alittle absurb for a simple pay for play date especially when most information for a companion can be found on many sites.

My schedule can already be crazy and hectic sometimes and for me $40/$50 just to meet with the possibility of a booking is not only a waste of my time but it is just not financially reasonable. There is no guarantee that an appointment will be made so now I've spent time getting dressed and ready, about 30 mins driving to the location, now time to sit there and talk 20 ish minutes and then another 30 mins back home. That's over an hour of my time that I would much rather reserve for a paying client and I don't have to fight traffic nor a possible awkward encounter. I'm all for a booked multi hour date where there will be dinner/drinks before the session but that's only because it is already sealed with a firm booking. After all we are paid for our time anyways so techniqually if you are wanting an hour or half hour of my time so you can see if we are compatable then you need to be paying the same as anyone else who spends time with me. The only difference is one actually wants a fun tryst and the other just wants to talk. I'm still getting ready and spending my time regardless of how you choose to use the time you booked.

As for talking over coffee..I'm not really sure what could possibly be talked about as I'm not going to discuss any sort of business. I never discuss that information. You can already easily find that on a website nor am I going to be talking about my personal life with a stranger. So I'd imagine it will be a pretty awkward coffee date. I can't judge compatability from a single 20 minute conversation. Attraction maybe but not if we would be compatible. Attraction doesn't always equally compatability and a good time does not always mean compatability. I've had some great sex with people that I wouldnt otherwise be interested in. This is pay for play.. compatability may not always be present but it does not mean a bad time was had. I'm not seeking a partner for real life. I'm pretty good and meshing well with anyone I encounter bcd. That's again the true point of IOP and part of the job.

As for your friend on a limited hobby budget. It seems like a waste of money to be throwing $50 down here and there just for coffee. Just as he may be screening her she maybe screening him. Maybe he likes her but she doesn't like what she sees or his company. He wants a date and she doesn't, she leaves with $50 and he is out $50. The money he is throwing away for like a $100 more could have easily landed him a half hour session with multiple ladies. If he has no problem throwing out $50 just for coffee then why not $100 more for a for sure date. If he is on a budget I just cant comprehend how he would so easily throw money away just to talk with someone. How disappointed could you be going into a blind session when you are already okay spending money for nothing? I would say its probably easier to get rejected during the coffee date by a provider for a number of reasons than when you show up for an appointment at her door. He may want to be compatible with the provider but she may be turned off by what she sees before he even gets a chance to book.

[Dev Null]

Originally Posted by Britttany_love

Just my personal opinion:

I'm a private person and quite frankly I like to keep my hobby business private and reserved for behind closed doors. I'm not keen on going out and advertising what it is that I'm doing. If I do it's because I wanted to and not because I'm needing to interview for a possible "date". I am out and open to most of my close friends and family but not with every single person in my life. I do not like awkward situations and having to come up with a lie on the spot.

Most of the clients I see are married, expect discretion and do not want any unwanted extra attention being brought their way. They are already taking risks meeting up bcd so why advertise it by putting a spot light on you by meeting out in the open.

A little scenario:

So say they are out..meeting up with a younger woman for coffee when you should be at work etc. This can draw the wrong attention. Yes I do understand that people can just have coffee and it doesn't mean anything however austin is quite small when it comes to running into the wrong person at that wrong time. I would hate to be married and out at a little "coffee" date and run into my wife's best friend. People talk and that might be hard explaining when pam tells your wife she ran into you and a cute 20 something flirting at the local Starbucks this past monday. Your wife says, oh really he said he was busy doing so and so. Now your caught in a lie, suspicions are up, a fight starts and well added bullshit for no reason. We as women always think the most extreme is circumstances such as these. We also tend to never forget and will always be on guard.

I think this sort of situation is ideal if you are trying to invest some time and money into a longer set arrangement such as a sugar baby relationship where compatability is more important but I find it alittle absurb for a simple pay for play date especially when most information for a companion can be found on many sites.

My schedule can already be crazy and hectic sometimes and for me $40/$50 just to meet with the possibility of a booking is not only a waste of my time but it is just not financially reasonable. There is no guarantee that an appointment will be made so now I've spent time getting dressed and ready, about 30 mins driving to the location, now time to sit there and talk 20 ish minutes and then another 30 mins back home. That's over an hour of my time that I would much rather reserve for a paying client and I don't have to fight traffic nor a possible awkward encounter. I'm all for a booked multi hour date where there will be dinner/drinks before the session but that's only because it is already sealed with a firm booking. After all we are paid for our time anyways so techniqually if you are wanting an hour or half hour of my time so you can see if we are compatable then you need to be paying the same as anyone else who spends time with me. The only difference is one actually wants a fun tryst and the other just wants to talk. I'm still getting ready and spending my time regardless of how you choose to use the time you booked.

As for talking over coffee..I'm not really sure what could possibly be talked about as I'm not going to discuss any sort of business. I never discuss that information. You can already easily find that on a website nor am I going to be talking about my personal life with a stranger. So I'd imagine it will be a pretty awkward coffee date. I can't judge compatability from a single 20 minute conversation. Attraction maybe but not if we would be compatible. Attraction doesn't always equally compatability and a good time does not always mean compatability. I've had some great sex with people that I wouldnt otherwise be interested in. This is pay for play.. compatability may not always be present but it does not mean a bad time was had. I'm not seeking a partner for real life. I'm pretty good and meshing well with anyone I encounter bcd. That's again the true point of IOP and part of the job.

As for your friend on a limited hobby budget. It seems like a waste of money to be throwing $50 down here and there just for coffee. Just as he may be screening her she maybe screening him. Maybe he likes her but she doesn't like what she sees or his company. He wants a date and she doesn't, she leaves with $50 and he is out $50. The money he is throwing away for like a $100 more could have easily landed him a half hour session with multiple ladies. If he has no problem throwing out $50 just for coffee then why not $100 more for a for sure date. If he is on a budget I just cant comprehend how he would so easily throw money away just to talk with someone. How disappointed could you be going into a blind session when you are already okay spending money for nothing? I would say its probably easier to get rejected during the coffee date by a provider for a number of reasons than when you show up for an appointment at her door. He may want to be compatible with the provider but she may be turned off by what she sees before he even gets a chance to book.

Thanks for sharing your take on it, Brittany. All valid points, and exactly the kind of thoughts that I was looking for.

So if you're single and there will be no wagging of tongues, you might want to make that clear up front. And out of respect for the gal's time, offer to meet her at a spot that's convenient for her. And of course no talk about specific activities, and very likely not a good fit for the lady with a busy schedule, so no need to take it personally if she declines an invitation for a meet and greet.

And yeah, 20 minutes may be a little long and awkward, especially if there isn't any chemistry in the first 5 seconds. You don't learn anything about her BCD talents in a meet and greet like you would in a playdate, so maybe it's better to just pull the trigger and book a session, especially if it's a more established lady.

I'm still not sure if this is for me. I can have fun with just about anyone in a session, even if she doesn't turn out to be an ATF. Much more okay with that than potentially hurting someone's feelings by having her doll up for a meet and greet and then not booking a session. Seems like it could be a little dehumanizing, too, like being in a line-up at a brothel and not getting picked.

I can also see the advantages for the guy, just not sure if they outweigh the disadvantages.

[Dev Null]

Originally Posted by UtrHottieATX

I am always open to doing this. I think its a great idea for when the refrences aren't getting back to you and they aren't comfortable sending info. Especially if they dont have a presence on the board. There isnt anything illegal about meeting for coffee.
There just has to be a mutual understanding that if the chemistry isnt there you part peacefully and there isnt any bashing on either end.

You'd think that mutual non-bashing would be understood, but feelings are tricky sometimes. Chemistry isn't really a reflection on anyone personally, and it's just not always there. When it is, it's a wonder to behold.

Thanks for sharing UtrHottie - I'm still on the fence about this, but maybe with the right person, it could be a good thing.

[Agent220]

Maybe.

[lovingcamela]

I agree with Brittany. Last year when I jumped back into the hobby I didn't know how to screen so I met people for coffee. The extra effort although pleasant because I love sitting in a cafe was simply extra work, difficult to schedule and did not guarantee a booking.

[bjarnibear]

All I can say is that is how I met my ATF a while back. Relationship now ended, but it was great while it lasted.

[Naomitx]

I did this a few times while working out in KC. I'll also pop by at the socials OH2 does. Personally my hobby life is very private, but I also think that my vanilla profession shields it. Maybe I'm meeting with an actual business client? No one would ever know, so it doesn't deter or scare me. However, it would definitely have to be convenient, and in the right circumstances. I will say every meet and greet date I've had ended really well. Maybe it's because we were able to connect first, I don't know..

[knotty man]

how could anyone NOT wanna connect with those curves!!

[Old-T]

Interesting thoughts. I have done this kind of thing a number of times. Coffee, or dinner, etc. I have had far more good experiences out of it than bad ones. I always make it clear up front that the only committment at this moment is the meet-up. Even when it leads to nothing more, the two of us part on friendly terms.

The only times it got a little edgy is when a lady ignored what I had said and assumed it would automatically lead to more--but that has been rare.

Such meetings, in my opinion, should not take the place of screening for safety. They are in my mind for comparability only. A multi hour date at higher rates is a very expensive way to find out you have nothing in common and each thinks the other is both dull and weird.

Brittany, I certainly understand that it is not for every lady. I have been turned down on a number of occasions. For some, it just does not fit into their busy lives. But of course we never talk business--that would be stupid. And the reason for my requesting the date is much more focused on can we actually enjoy each other's company over an extended period of non-erotic moments.

As to worrying about being seen, I think that is easily overcome. Dress and act appropriately for where you are, don't talk business, don't start groping, etc. Don'tdo it when you are supposed to be working or somewhere else. In other words, don'tbe stupid.

I travel a lot. I am eating out about 15-20 nights a month. I almost always have company at dinner--a co-worker, client, mentee, relative, relative of a co-worker, or a date. Behave appropriately and it has never been an issue.

Actually the only times (and fortunately they have been very few) it has been an issue was when a lady arrived drunk, or another one was seriously inappropriately dressed (4* restaurant on the water, she wore a micro mini with see through panties that could not be covered when she sat down. And yes, she knew the kind of restaurant.)
I considered her meal and the money I gave her a good investment to avoid an overnight I had initially thought about.

It is a useful tool for some people in some situations.

[stikiwikit]

Although not much of a hobbyist I have met 3 ladies for "drinks", two of them professionals and one a civilian. The professional were told I would compensate them for their time just to meet and greet, nothing more, nothing expected but conversation.



I meet at a local restaurant with a long bar so that it looks like you are just having a casual conversation with the person sitting next to you. So, I think it can be done, and is a good way to screen for both sides. Just depends on the where and how.

[ck1942]

Interesting discussion above. Which is why ...

Over my many decades of hobbying I have used many (what I consider safe/secure) hotel bars/restaurants to meet current and prospective companions.

Never an issue, and in fact, one of the more secure places to meet and greet has been the current "resting stop" for many Highway Patrol and other LEOs hotel in north Austin.

Always felt very safe parking the ck-mobile among all those trooper and county bear vehicles!

I never did remove the ASPD Official Business card from the back window ledge, either!!!

[VictoriaLyn]

Ive considered doing this but I over think my safety sometimes so my mind wonders to what if he is a bad guy and follows me home if I reject him or he watches and records my plate number and does a search for all my personal info? Yes I know your somewhat safe in a public place but plenty of people also go missing from public places.....

[AsiaSweetie]

I don't charge for just going out. I'm happy to meet in public at first if that makes you feel more comfortable. For more details you can pm me or email me at "yoursweetiepielovesyou@gmail. com" or "yoursweetiepielovesyou@proton mail.com"