sadly i must report that themystic has died. he died today at 12:01 AM at Parkland Hospital of asshole cancer. the greatest proctologist, Dr. Bombastic Butthole, worked feverishly to save themystic. unfortunately even a total amputation of themystic's asshole could not save him.
because themystic
is an asshole, he simply could not survive without his asshole. thus, themystic died. he died surrounded by no one because no one cared about this asshole.
with great irrelevance, his body was placed next to the dumpster behind Parkland Hospital.
he will be interred at South Dallas Country landfill.
we ask that no respect be given to this asshole or his body. we encourage all to desecrate this piece of shit in any way you want to.
donations are requested to be made in his fucktard honor to the re-election committee of His Regal Majesty the Lord Emperor Donald, Supreme Ruler of the Multiverse.
in other news, Mike the headless Chicken aka Ivan the Chimp's Thai cousin has now lived more that a WEEK after being beheaded by Buddhist monks in Thailand. they wanted fried chicken for dinner.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...capitated.html
bahahahahahaha