Choking

[SaintBerry]

Originally Posted by OliviaHoward

It's hot, but it is dangerous. I prefer more just having my lover's hands on my neck and only the slightest of slight pressure. I'm more into the psychological, giving of control aspect of the act then the physical sensation.

Good golly, thank you for pointing out how dangerous this can be. You should not engage in choking without training/education. Firm hand on the neck is one thing, but it is a fine line!
That having been said, if SSC, it is quite hot.

[Chislaine]

Question for you ladies that are into the choking. Have you ever been choked or strangled by someone who is intending to harm you? I don’t mean in the hobby. For instance like an ex or SO. After being subjected to this type of …treatment I personally will refrain from choking or being choked.
If you do enjoy this I’m not judging ok.

[Guest081013-1]

Wow! I never knew that there were so many more people into this. I, too, LOVE it. I think if done properly with the right amount of pressure and TRUST (key) that this is the hottest thing ever. There is something to be said about having the control of air taking away just as you move from the intense feeling of starting to have an orgasm... to the ultimate feeling of gushing all over the man inside you while gasping for air. It's amazing. Damn I'm hot just thinking about it. I have only found ONE man in the hobby that without asking has done this on his own. It turned me on so much, that I think I willingly went over an hour with him. It was hot. I wish that more men if they wanted to try this would just say so and ask. I'm sure with no drama following their handles and intense screening on him being a complete gentleman from other providers, more providers would give this as a menu item. I KNOW I WOULD.

Amber Rain

[X-rated]

Here is one cool way i have explored this. And yes i have been on both sides. This is fun with or without bondage. Instead of choking on/around the neck, use a dildo and do deep throat choking.
Fun fun fun and for you fellow saliva/spit fetishists it has some spitty value added!

[ElisabethWhispers]

http://www.jaywiseman.com/SEX_BDSM_B...g_Argument.php

Jay Wiseman is a well regarded (probably at the top) expert on many aspects of BDSM and this topic.

I would strongly suggest that you read this article. There are people who have accidentally killed others playing with this. And he is completely against doing this at all in sexual play or otherwise.

Have I done it? You betcha. Have I done it with others? Yes.

But I shouldn't. I know that I'm playing with fire and one slip could seriously harm someone.

Just thought that I would throw this out there.

Not trying to spoil a good topic!

Elisabeth

[Guest020720]

It's a big turn on for me.

But it's not so much the choking - as the man is taking more control.

So, like if he's pounding my ass doggy - and pulls my hair with one hand and wraps his hand around my throat with the other - I just hope to god there is a mirror close by at the same time!

Typically - it's not against my windpipe - it's up at my jaw line. It's the illusion of choking. If that makes any sense at all.

[Guest081013-1]

LMAO... ANGIE... totally agree. I think so too. I hate being in control. I love a MAN being a MAN and being in control of the situation. It's the feeling of a manly hand holding my body in the perfect position, the way HE likes it... and pounding me the way he wants to. LoVE it.

Amber Rain

[Guest020720]

Another thing that got me that actually in real life happened in that situation - with a mirror and all....was that the man had darker skin than me - a black man - and the contrast was just even more of a "shit, this is like so against what I was taught was wrong growing up....I'M DOING SO MUCH NAUGHTY STUFF, AND I LIKE IT SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!"

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

I love it, but pay attention when I tap your arm, which is our safety signal during that kind of play. Some things are to left to people you know and trust.

[pyramider]

Originally Posted by ICU 812

Isn't that how David Carradine went out?

Belt around the neck while beating off.

[Guest032514-1]

Originally Posted by captnzen

Death can harsh the eroticism.

lmao

Looks like 3 things being discussed (by my definitions):

1)Breath play: HOM *OM - (form of asphyx)

2)Choking: obstruction of trachea (form of asphyx)

3)Strangulation: obstructing blood flow to the brain (some osis word, I forget)

ALL are xxxtremely dangerous. Cannot be overstated. I know a nice guy who went to prison for involuntary manslaughter because of this. The nucleus of the states argument (for manslaughter vs accidental death) was that even though he and the victim were married (yep, was his wife), that it was a common consensual practice - he knew that it "jeopardized the physical well being" of his partner and he still "knowingly" participated. 20 years of play and did nothing different than any other time. Autopsy revealed numerous 'kinks" in her veins (20 years). Depending on your physiology you too could be susceptible to this "carpal tunnel" of the veins.

In most BDSM, an accident is not good but not fatal. This is NOT that area. An accident with breathplay can be recovered from (cpr), but inducing a massive stroke...not so much.

In real life BDSM, this is considered extreme and/or "reserved" play - as in reserved for one particular person. It's up there as one of the ultimate trusts (it is literally putting your life in someone else's hands) and is either frowned upon or regarded as ..sacred? for lack of a better early morning word.

For regular escorts and clients, I strongly discourage this play. There is nothing but $$ between the two, no knowledge, no trust, no pact etc. Two ignorant (as in uneducated/untrained) people never make a right. An escort promoting that she is willing to offer any type of strangulation could be inviting trouble as well.

For me, asphyx of any type is a redder than my favvie subs ass red kind of play. I can get antsy in doggie & mish if there's too much pressure on my sternum or too much soft bedding - borderline clausterphobic - which yeah made for some very mental play as a sub.

Anyone ever do what we used to call "airplanes" ? You stand, breath in as you bend over, out as you straighten 10 - 20 times, then on the last someone behind you does a heimlich, forcing all the hair out? We did as teens when we didnt have..illegal stuff I'm not allowed to mention on ECCIE for the buzz.

Bloodflow gives me a totally different type buzz. hard to describe but is my preference. Again, I know me. I have strong circulatory, lowish blood pressure, no heart issues etc.

I think Olivia nailed it: a non bruising pressure should suffice in a p4p setting.

Originally Posted by latnremedy

Question for you ladies that are into the choking. Have you ever been choked or strangled by someone who is intending to harm you? I don’t mean in the hobby. For instance like an ex or SO. After being subjected to this type of …treatment I personally will refrain from choking or being choked.
If you do enjoy this I’m not judging ok.

If you have ever been in such a situation, my heart goes out to you.

Most lifestylers did not come to BDSM via some traumatic experience. Those who have are easy to spot and generally are not mentally & emotionally able to sustain in the life. BDSM is not about beat the hell outta that bitch or I deserve to be degraded. Quite the opposite. A Dominant guides and protects his/her partner. A submissive needs someone to guide and control in a sexual setting. For a Dom, a submissive is a blessing, something to be cherished protected and cared for - above all else. A Dom should use his/her knowledge to learn what his/her sub needs and then use his/her talent to give that.

Early(ish) in my own training, I remember my Master cupping my chin and explaining "Everything I do should be reflected back at me from your eyes." As a Dom, I should see excitement, fear, anguish, maybe a little horror. But always always always gratitude and joy. I have failed my sub, broken trust if I don't.

[Liliana]

My boyfriend only uses one hand so I'm not being completely choked but it is such a turn-on. I love when he does it.

[Lovin50]

Outside of vanilla dates every now and then I totally enjoy an extended day pushing my limits with the right person. Not real sure if my activity or my desired outcome from this is a norm or not but for most but I'm not what you would consider a Lifestyler but now and then with a select few unknown to my daily life crowd I am/can be a total submissive BCD. Having to be the dominate in business and the decisions that are a part of that lifestyle I have found that when I became more open to a total loss of control and submitting to complete helplessness and a loss of mobility thru bondage and such is a great release of sorts for me. At first I thought I wanted kind of a personal reality check because I did not like the outcome of some decisions that had to be made during a rough time. As time went on my comfort level grew and my tolerance level has improved in sessions. It was interesting to me that with not enough tolerance level how I would get to the pissed/upset line and use the safe word to stop and try not to lose control. It was only after realizing this during after decisions with a true Dom I was able to use that point in a session as more of a pause button to allow me to get mentally to the place I was wanting to be. You all are so very correct in that a Dom's knowledge is priceless in using the skills necessary and taking the time to know the limits of a sub but still be able to get their mind where it needs to be, how long to keep them there and for myself allowing for a slow quiet return.
More on topic though, for me the act of choking/strangulation is not for the breath play itself but it can be very helpful in the scene being preformed and is a good way ultimately to get me to the other side psychologically.

[JazzmineRayne]

I have tried this on a few occasions with someone that I trust & it was a very erotic experience! It is something that is very dangerous & I would not attempt to try it with someone who is in-experienced or someone that I do not trust. There are different techniques & I would recommend trying them to see what is most comfortable for you.

[Hot to Trot Daphne]

Originally Posted by babee

lmao

Looks like 3 things being discussed (by my definitions):

1)Breath play: HOM *OM - (form of asphyx)

2)Choking: obstruction of trachea (form of asphyx)

3)Strangulation: obstructing blood flow to the brain (some osis word, I forget)

ALL are xxxtremely dangerous. Cannot be overstated. I know a nice guy who went to prison for involuntary manslaughter because of this. The nucleus of the states argument (for manslaughter vs accidental death) was that even though he and the victim were married (yep, was his wife), that it was a common consensual practice - he knew that it "jeopardized the physical well being" of his partner and he still "knowingly" participated. 20 years of play and did nothing different than any other time. Autopsy revealed numerous 'kinks" in her veins (20 years). Depending on your physiology you too could be susceptible to this "carpal tunnel" of the veins.

In most BDSM, an accident is not good but not fatal. This is NOT that area. An accident with breathplay can be recovered from (cpr), but inducing a massive stroke...not so much.

In real life BDSM, this is considered extreme and/or "reserved" play - as in reserved for one particular person. It's up there as one of the ultimate trusts (it is literally putting your life in someone else's hands) and is either frowned upon or regarded as ..sacred? for lack of a better early morning word.

For regular escorts and clients, I strongly discourage this play. There is nothing but $$ between the two, no knowledge, no trust, no pact etc. Two ignorant (as in uneducated/untrained) people never make a right. An escort promoting that she is willing to offer any type of strangulation could be inviting trouble as well.

For me, asphyx of any type is a redder than my favvie subs ass red kind of play. I can get antsy in doggie & mish if there's too much pressure on my sternum or too much soft bedding - borderline clausterphobic - which yeah made for some very mental play as a sub.

Anyone ever do what we used to call "airplanes" ? You stand, breath in as you bend over, out as you straighten 10 - 20 times, then on the last someone behind you does a heimlich, forcing all the hair out? We did as teens when we didnt have..illegal stuff I'm not allowed to mention on ECCIE for the buzz.

Bloodflow gives me a totally different type buzz. hard to describe but is my preference. Again, I know me. I have strong circulatory, lowish blood pressure, no heart issues etc.

I think Olivia nailed it: a non bruising pressure should suffice in a p4p setting.



If you have ever been in such a situation, my heart goes out to you.

Most lifestylers did not come to BDSM via some traumatic experience. Those who have are easy to spot and generally are not mentally & emotionally able to sustain in the life. BDSM is not about beat the hell outta that bitch or I deserve to be degraded. Quite the opposite. A Dominant guides and protects his/her partner. A submissive needs someone to guide and control in a sexual setting. For a Dom, a submissive is a blessing, something to be cherished protected and cared for - above all else. A Dom should use his/her knowledge to learn what his/her sub needs and then use his/her talent to give that.

Early(ish) in my own training, I remember my Master cupping my chin and explaining "Everything I do should be reflected back at me from your eyes." As a Dom, I should see excitement, fear, anguish, maybe a little horror. But always always always gratitude and joy. I have failed my sub, broken trust if I don't.

well this kinda killed a little of the allure of it for me... I think next time we'll try that side neck thing you were talking about.