Processing afterwards.....

[MontanaGuy]

Hello.

I recently met a member who suggested this forum and this site. I have always been curious about several aspects of BDSM. When the opportunity came to town, I nervously leapt at my chance. The outcome was more than I had imagined.


I've read the threads here and almost every topic seems to have been covered. All except how did you process all the emotions afterwards? It's only been a few days and I still am having trouble reconciling who I am with what I've done.

Regards,
Guy

[RegularFemale205]

!!!

Have you spoken with the person you played with?
I would google "subdrop & aftercare".

Are you a member of fetlife.com? There is tons of useful information there on aftercare.

[captnzen]

It is an arc of growth/acceptance to become one with your bdsm yearnings and desires. I went from feeling like a bit of a freak merchant in my early days to realizing it was an inherent part of my warp and woof and it has ultimately brought me intense pleasure plus some truly complex emotions. Good luck, read, research and share when you can do so safely.

[The Fetishist]

+1 on all of the above. Definitely talk with the one you were with and let them know what you are feeling. Find some folks here who have good thoughts and talk to them. Remember that we were all there at some point, until we came to terms with the outside world and the BCD experience. Whatever you are feeling, there are many understanding folks here that can help you sort it out. One of the things that has helped me is Blogging. Not that I expect anyone to read it, but in writing it down in a coherent manner, I was able to clarify what my experiences are and see the forest for the trees or the dungeon for the floggers, as it where.

Good luck and no, your really not a freak. Well, any more of a freak than you were yesterday - just one with more experience to assimilate.


Fetish

[Krunkman]

Each of us is going to process the emotions and feelings leftover from a play session differently. There isn't any right or wrong way to do it. Can you provide more details about what it is that you are feeling?

As it was suggested above, sometimes talking to your partner is a good thing. Though since a lot of people do this in a pay-for-play relationship, that's not always possible. The ladies charge for their time, and discussing a previous play 'date' usually costs money. That is one of the downsides of pay-for-play for those who do need/want downtime after the session. If you are that type you are probably going to end up feeling worse afterwards because you have no outlet for your emotional needs. And with the rates as they are, well, you need to be financially well-off to do so. Of course, not all ladies will charge for it, and some will include time outside your session to help you adjust and get back to some normalcy. Those ladies are typically the better ones to see.

[Anita Lay]

Why having trouble with it ? it was somthing you wanted to try ..... good for you.

[Guest032514-1]

This will be the only comment I make on this thread.

I *think* MG here may have had a fairly intense extended first encounter.
I *think* MG may have went places he never ever thought of.
I *think* he had more than "adequate" aftercare.

I *think* MG may more be looking for some kind of 'affirmation'?

Why don't you tell AR what happened? I *think* if members here had a better idea of your experience, they would better able to empathize.

Stick around MG, I think you'll like it here.

edit/add: Anybody else remember that first real scene? Heart pounding from fear or excitement or some hyper collaboration of both? Sensory overload causing your head to spin so that although the feelings you recall are sharp and vivid, the actual memories are more fuzzy? And the memories cause excitement and nerves & WTF!! along the lines of 'so awesome" "cant believe I did that" "god I'm a freak of nature" joy shame excitement fear - all playing through your psyche in the real world....of MONTANA! pop 600 thou in the whole state?

Pony up for him please.