Warning: This post is long, so for you little boys who have trouble staying awake to read big words and complete sentences, make sure to take plenty of naps in between paragraph breaks. We wouldn’t want y’all getting tiiiuuuurrrrrd and falling ashleeeeep : (
You've been warned!
-
-
-
-
-
I understand that both Johns and Providers need a space to vent about those super frustrating "Almost Appointments" or “NCNS” that don't work out for whatever reason.
I understand that this kinda thing is common on both sides of the profession and it’s something that can make a John or SW feel very confused, upset, betrayed and owed.
I understand that after an experience like that, some people are going to need to vent or seek guidance.
Why is that place the Co-Ed Forum?
And why is there not more of a process to screen and settle these potentially harmful and malicious accusations in a more private and professional manner?
Perhaps we need have a refresher discussion on NCNS’s and last min cancellations in general. What’s qualifies as a NCNS, a last min cancellation or just a simple miscommunication?
Perhaps it’s time that we, together (meaning both Johns and Providers that are both Veterans and Newer to the community), come up with a better solution for how to deal with these situations that don’t quite qualify for a review, but, for the legitimate cases, may be important thing to figure out and note for Providers and Johns alike?
Perhaps we should discuss if these things even have any business in this forum or particularly outside of the private Provider/John forums?
Personally, I’m not really sure how to go about fixing this commitment problem both Providers and Johns often have with one another or how to fix the glaring harassment that occurs regularly on the Co-Ed board in response to these "Non-Reviews", but what’s happening now is chaotic and it's dangerous.
Listen, y’all, I get it!
None of us have time to waste.
NONE of us like getting stood up.
None of us like getting canceled on last minute.
I'll go ahead and say it...
Ain't NOBODY got time for THAT!
For a John, it means blue balls and a lot of risk and vulnerable time wasted just for someone to stand you up. For a Provider, it may mean the phone or cable gets shut off as well as a lot of risk and time wasted just for someone to stand you up.
But to automatically think either party did it out of malice or disrespect considering the profession/hobby we are involved in (you know, the one that the government and most of society disapproves ofand forbids leaving most of us to keep every bit of our hobby life under wraps) while then blasting and punishing them publicly based on that assumption less than a week after the incident is farcical and reckless.
Why do Mods feel this is an appropriate place for sexually frustrated Johns to air their dirty laundry with Provider Members?
Or even an appropriate place for strung out providers to bitch about a John?
Why is this the place to dump non reviews of sessions that never took place?
Is there a possibility to create another type of review forum that is used for "Appointments That Never Were" or another board forum (possibly an add-on to the *private* Men's Lounge/Powder Room) to bitch about/claim NCNS that isn't also the board that's supposed to be for "thought-provoking, and more importantly...entertaining" discussions?"
Why is it that the Co-Ed Forum is the place to drag other members through the mud with zero check into their claims and accusations?
Why are providers being constantly thrown under the bus and possibly incurring lots of damage to their business because a John may or may not be telling the truth (or full truth) about a *private* business matter? (or the other way around)?
***How does this not go against several of the ECCIE General Conduct Guidelines?***
Why do Mods allow so much room for Slander?
Members (both Johns and Providers) work very, very hard to build up their businesses and/or reputations both here and in the wide wide Hobby World, why allow such damaging and personal information litter the boards, especially when the trend is then for other members to further trash and/or demean the member in question, even when they have zero business experience with them?
I mean, there are thread titles with terms like "Burn Notice" in them making it very clear the purpose of these posts is to ruin reputations and businesses. Why is this allowed and entertained in a forum that is meant to be fun?
Are Mods really trying to suggest that it is entertaining to watch Johns try and ruin a Provider's reputation, business and self worth…for fun?!
I know for a fact I am not the only one who views this normal practice as disgusting and objectifying harassment (and it’s Johns who are PMing me to back me up), so why is this kind of BS tolerated?
You are allowing for an environment of blackmail,
and members are taking full advantage of it.
I have personally had several Johns threaten “bad reviews on co-ed” against me in order to get discounts, IOUs, faster replies or for more attention/time.
These Johns have ranged from immature/inexperienced Newbies to experienced lurkers to well respected/well known board members.
You are allowing a trend that is being used to threaten your members in their private business and personal lives and you’re encouraging a practice that I would think a community like this would work hard to protect itself and its members from.
Why is it that session details are so private that EVEN THE PROVIDERS WHO ALLOWED, HOSTED AND RAN THE SESSION CAN’T SEE THE FULL REVIEW/RUNDOWN, yet, details about anything leading up to that is fair game to air AND to declare open season upon?
Why is it that these types of “non-reviews” are actually DEFAULTED to the Co-Ed forum?
Is it to have the issue dealt with by both parties IF both of them happen to see it? Even then, it’s very hard for someone other than the OP to get a “review” removed or to be heard over the slanderous yelling that’s created after you throw one of these into the gauntlet, so, I don’t get it.
What is the logic in these types of non-reviews going here?
Why stress the importance of member privacy when you are encouraging a practice that forces the victim of such a post to reveal personal information in order to “explain themselves?”
(#5 in ECCIE Guidelines: …Membership here is anonymous and for the privacy of our members it will remain that way. That means any effort or attempt to connect a person's real world information to their username on this board will be dealt with swiftly and harshly. This includes real names, employment, medical info, addresses past or present, images, criminal or driving record, etc. We expect everyone who participates here to respect and go to great lengths to protect the anonymity and privacy of one another. Reckless disregard or accidental outing will also be taken very seriously)
What if they have children or a sick family member or juggling two other jobs plus school or are going through some rough times themselves and sometimes have situations where they’re not sure how to say “sorry I can’t make it, but I’m just too depressed to make our appointment today?”
Why do you encourage information like that to be brought out and picked apart in one of the most hostile forums on this site?
Why create situations where someone is forced to choose between humiliating and compromising themselves further by revealing personal info or to just sit quietly while the dogs pick them and the business apart so they can protect their dignity/family/privacy?
I'm very, VERY curious...
any answers or additional opinions about this topic are encouraged and welcomed!
With Great Love And Concern,
Electric Feel Now
formally known by handle Nightmaresally 2012 - 2013
*** ECCIE General Conduct Guidelines these "Non-Review" posts and their comments violate and that are ignored when posted in the Co-Ed Forum ***
#1 - Avoid cases of unprovoked rudeness to others. No place for it here. Yes, with the dynamic nature of the threads and topics, tempers will flare and things will become heated from time to time. You may often encounter individuals who become passionate or emotional when expressing one's opinion or point of view. That's all understood and perfectly acceptable within reason…….but, start slamming or bashing another member and be met with consequences.
#3 - Disrespect to others, IN GENERAL, will be considered an item of low tolerance, especially when posting in our coed forums. Follow the Golden Rule and treat others as you wish to be treated yourself. This applies to fellow members as well as staff. We do not require that you have respect for us, but we do require that you treat us respectfully in the public forums. If you feel the need to vent, gripe, or blow off some steam regarding a staff member's action or decision, we ask that you keep it private. Email, RTM, or the PM system would be the appropriate avenue to take in such cases. In cases where you would like to request additional clarity about a staff decision, you are free to pursue an answer in either a public forum or private means of communication. If handled publicly, post your inquiry in a respectful manner.
#4 - Blatant insults or hostility toward another member will be met with staff intervention. This applies to using our coed forums for name calling, personal attacks, or vulgar slang terms to describe fellow members. If you have legitimate concerns about another member here, share them tactfully in the appropriate private forums or with staff.
#5 - ...Membership here is anonymous and for the privacy of our members it will remain that way. That means any effort or attempt to connect a person's real world information to their username on this board will be dealt with swiftly and harshly. This includes real names, employment, medical info, addresses past or present, images, criminal or driving record, etc. We expect everyone who participates here to respect and go to great lengths to protect the anonymity and privacy of one another. Reckless disregard or accidental outing will also be taken very seriously
“Entertaining Discussions” or Blatant Attempts At Blackmail, Bullying and Harassment?
