Is there first meeting etiquette in BDSM?

[mokgp2017]

I am physically meeting my Domme for the first time. We have communicated primarily through email.

She had me till out an extensive questionnaire, in order to gauge experience and such.

Is there such a thing as do's and don'ts for the initial face to face contact? Handshake? Pleasantries?

1st time sub.

[Guest041919]

Well, I would come up with a safe word, for starters. You may find yourself in a relationship where the whole dynamic is all or nothing. Other than that, just give a small memo to your Domme of things you'd not be comfortable with and when you get more acquainted you won't have to use the safe word so much. Oh, and I hear eye contact is big. Good luck.

[mokgp2017]

We have established a"safe word"and covered what I would like to have happen during our session. I am really trying to wrap up what I do when she,or possibly another of her subs answers the door on that first visit.

Thank you for your help!

[Guest041919]

You are sub....I suppose you do sub stuff. bow. drool, snivel, lol what youre supposed to do hell, maybe ask some real bdsm experienced folks

[GypsyHeart]

Ask her to give you tasks for before and at time of meet. Are you to drop to your knees and kiss her feet? Are you to accept punishment upon arrival? She should guide you.

[geezer1948]

Originally Posted by GypsyHeart

Ask her to give you tasks for before and at time of meet. Are you to drop to your knees and kiss her feet? Are you to accept punishment upon arrival? She should guide you.

Ask how you should dress, if there are gifts you should bring besides the obvious one. Those are typical tasks before the meeting. Don't expect too much of a script - there has to be room for error and correction so you can learn her ways.

[mokgp2017]

Originally Posted by geezer1948

Ask how you should dress, if there are gifts you should bring besides the obvious one. Those are typical tasks before the meeting. Don't expect too much of a script - there has to be room for error and correction so you can learn her ways.

Piece by piece I think it is all starting to come together. I would and will contact her before or session, I just don't want to go back and forth with idiotic e-mail!

[Warptcuck]

Before the date, find out her likes and let her know your likes/dislikes, be sure to let her know your hard limits. Not in detail. Do not talk about $.
When you get there, do not expect it to go like you dream or day dream.
Her views on your likes/dislikes may not be the same.
Have a safe word and let her take over when you get there. There is nothing worse for a provider than for a guy to keep stopping the session to let her know exactly how he likes something. Let it happen, don't stop her until she reaches your hard limit on anything.
After it's over, take a few minutes to talk about how it went. She will appreciate it, and next round, she will know a little more about how your deviant mind works. She will make it better the next date.
Start simple. Don't stop her if hard limits are not reached. Review the session with her after it's over. Don't ask for anything more after the session is over. Leave happy, leave her happy.

[bigmiketwo]

I've found it best to let them know in great detail if there is something I want to experience. She isn't a mind reader. The very best session where she does exactly what you dream of by reading your mind won't happen. Let her know and then let her take it from there.

[Naughtyandbad]

Just be cool, be respectful and be a gentleman.
Express your interests in your prelim email, without being vulgar.
Normally before a session there is some chit chat to go over limits and interests one more time.
Definitely bring up your favs again, but I've found its best to let her take the lead, create the scene she is feeling and hang on for the ride.
Finally, check your inhibitions, or ego or pride at the door, and play your role.
Super fun!

[Kinky Boy]

Always bring you Mistress/Goddess a gift. Weather it's a Starbucks gift card or something else in the form of a gift card. A good idea is to tell her she has Sexy feet then guess her shoe is then mostly likely if your right or wrong, she usually will tell you her shoe size. Then go out and purchase a sexy set of heels, boots, etc. Ask her if she is a medium, small, etc etc. Then go to a Leather store and purchase her a nice leather jacket, or maybe a regular jacket. A domme cannot have enough shoes or jackets. You may want to purchase a 'new toy' for the dungeon. Chances are, she may use it on you also. Good luck.

[Lion26]

Try to meet as equals first to see if you two are even compatible before entering any kind of Dom/sub dynamic or authority transfer.
I know that puts a wet blanket on your hot fantasy, but negotiations and safety talk should come first.

[mokgp2017]

Originally Posted by Warptcuck

Before the date, find out her likes and let her know your likes/dislikes, be sure to let her know your hard limits. Not in detail. Do not talk about $.
When you get there, do not expect it to go like you dream or day dream.
Her views on your likes/dislikes may not be the same.
Have a safe word and let her take over when you get there. There is nothing worse for a provider than for a guy to keep stopping the session to let her know exactly how he likes something. Let it happen, don't stop her until she reaches your hard limit on anything.
After it's over, take a few minutes to talk about how it went. She will appreciate it, and next round, she will know a little more about how your deviant mind works. She will make it better the next date.
Start simple. Don't stop her if hard limits are not reached. Review the session with her after it's over. Don't ask for anything more after the session is over. Leave happy, leave her happy.

Well we talked a little at the start to establish basic ground work, safe words, limits, etc.

Then I just let the time transpire and grow organically. Well, that was the best thing to do! I discovered things that I did not know I would love and vice versa!

We've decided to go a little nastier on our next meeting and I cannot wait to see where Mistress will take it!

[Warptcuck]

I met with a chick from here.
I gave her my hard limits and she gave me a safe word.
Keep it simple. Don't complicate it. Have fun.

[Guest010619]