When you hobby. Leave your heart at the door. Trust no one.

[moneykavega$]

I tell people it's ok to love everyone but trust nobody. That girl knew what she was doing and for that reason her time will come and she will be dry.

[Tan Khan]

It's so difficult not to get emotionally invested in someone you have good chemistry with. Especially when you are led to believe the feeling is mutual. The sugar baby world is even more risky in that respect.

I keep reminding myself of the nature of the relationship. In the hobby, you pay for the fantasy by the hour. When the hour ends, so should the relationship, until the next booking.

This is the type of experience that makes people jaded. She took advantage of you, but you allowed her. Hopefully, you will grow wiser and will at least, learn more about yourself.

[sydmo]

it happens brother, you sound like a good dude, so it'll probably happen again. It's just life, collect your scars and keep on livin. Don't change who you are just cause of this chick.
It only hurts for a bit

[msguru]

Sorry this happened to you. As you have seen from the responses, you are not alone. Been there, done that. Many times it happens without intent but when we visit the same ladies several times, or have an ATF, there is a chance to "feel a connection," even if it is not authentic both ways.

[Risn2TheOccasion]

Thanks to all who have responded here and in PM. I have to admit I am amazed how supportive this community has been, especially the ladies. Many have asked me to reveal the Handle of this person. I wish to take the high road and just let the Universe handle it. Karma will return all that has been done. Revealing who it was will accomplish nothing and only bring negativity to me. I actually feel sorry for her. Being around her for a brief amount of time, she can fake a level of sweetness that can charm a snake. But get to know her and you will see a very selfish, self centered individual. Sad thing is, once her looks are gone, she will end up a pathetic, isolated person who will end up all alone. Sad. I’ve broken all ties with this person.

[Anonymous01]

Just an FYI, I've fallen completely for two different providers, 3 decades apart. I never expected them to stop providing.
What they had in common was this:
1. Whenever I was with them, I was the only man on the planet. It was like they were starving and I was the first warm red meat they'd seen in months. Not just in the bedroom, but in public - they couldn't keep their hands off me, public displays of affection all of the time, semi-public sex in places I never imagined...

2. They weren't afraid of getting personal. I knew their kid's birthdays, personal letters, cards, emails, went in both directions. They were there for me when I had hard times, they knew that I was there for them as well. Again, we never touched on their professional lives, but over time, we trusted each other with our personal lives.
3. The only other thing they had in common is that one lives in France, and when she got married relatively recently, I was genuinely happy for her, because she was looking for someone to be WITH HER for so long. And when I thought I would never, ever find a lady like "mon petite demoiselle", I found a German lady who literally saved my life during a life-threatening medical situation three years ago.
Marlene Dietrich said so accurately, "In the US, sex is an obsession. In the rest of the world it is merely a fact."
Don't get me wrong, I've had a lot more than just my hopes dashed in the US. I've stopped counting the NC/NS's, the outright rip-offs, the things I can't mention because I'll be edited by the Mods and get more points....
I've just learned that in countries where the "hobby" is legal, long-term, very real relationships with very real feelings for each other can happen... and it is for those perfect moments in a very imperfect world that I keep going...

[JohnnyYanks]

Originally Posted by Risn2TheOccasion

... Being around her for a brief amount of time, she can fake a level of sweetness that can charm a snake. But get to know her and you will see a very selfish, self centered individual. Sad thing is, once her looks are gone, she will end up a pathetic, isolated person who will end up all alone. Sad. I’ve broken all ties with this person.

You previously admitted to being exceptionally gullible & here you sound quite bitter. So it doesn't sound like you've "broken ties" at all. Your bitterness keeps you permanently tethered to her.

[winn dixie]

Just say no to cbj. That is all.

[JohnnyYanks]

Originally Posted by Risn2TheOccasion

... Leave your heart at the door.

I can't imagine an existence so timorous as to necessitate such a doctrine.

My heart doesn't get locked in the car with my wallet -- it leads the way. A new adventure awaits every time: a fellow human being to love immediately and immensely during our allotted time. Then it is over & we both remain with our memories.

[Risn2TheOccasion]

Originally Posted by JohnnyYanks

You previously admitted to being exceptionally gullible & here you sound quite bitter. So it doesn't sound like you've "broken ties" at all. Your bitterness keeps you permanently tethered to her.

What I am curious about is, why would you resurrect a thread that has been dead for over 30 days? You would have had to go back almost 4 pages to find this. My last comment was 34 days ago. My last correspondence with said provider was over 34 days ago. What is your motivation here Mr Yanks? Are you not out of San Antonio? How long has it been since you posted a review, 2 years? You sound like one of her “friends” she used to talk ALOT about who lived “far away”, didn’t post reviews anymore, and would drive in to help her with her lack of computer knowledge, and get overnight stays. I know she probably talked to you about me the same way she talked to me about you.

I am not hanging on to anything. I am not bitter anymore, but I am wiser. Yes, I was deeply hurt. I stopped talking about the subject 34 days ago. I have moved on and have had about 8 wonderful hobby experiences since that time, and gifting an average of 250. I’m not slowing down in the least. Which reminds me, I have 4 reviews I need to post.

Several gentlemen and ladies gave me some good advice which I have taken to heart. That was, “Don’t stop being a good person and don’t stop helping a fellow human being in need.” In fact, if said provider ever called me in need, I would probably help if I possibly could. Why? Because even though she lied and played me for a fool, I know she is for the most part all alone in this world and has no one she can truly depend on. I would help, but keep a safe distance. I wish her no harm at all, and when asked I have kept her identity secret.

Please, don’t be so obtuse. What I meant by “Keep your heart at the door” was, don’t let someone lead you to believe you mean more to them than what you truly are. I will always care for the well being of any lady I see. I just won’t allow anyone to play my heart romantically again with words that are not backed up with true actions. I’m not cold and bitter. Just smarter with the deepest parts of my heart. I used to give all my attention to an ATF or be someone’s regular. But for now I am playing the field and having fun.

In closing, I would still like you to reveal why a Monger from San Antonio would take the time and effort to dig 4 pages into a the Austin Co-Ed section to find a post that has been dormant for over 30 days.

[JohnnyYanks]

Originally Posted by Risn2TheOccasion

... why a Monger from San Antonio would take the time and effort to dig 4 pages into a the Austin Co-Ed section to find a post that has been dormant for over 30 days.

It's no great mystery or conspiracy.

What does "from San Antonio" have to do with anything? Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't we all on the internet? Thus no geographical restrictions.

That said, I've likely spent more hobby dollars in Austin & Dallas than 1/2 of those who post in those locales.

I don't log-in often these days & so don't have a regular rotation of members to banter with. I find the tamed version of ECCIE Coed to be mostly nonsense & threADs. Your post offered a bit more, so I commented.

That you react with such hurt suggests my comment was spot on.

[Risn2TheOccasion]

I’m not hurt at all. My response was more inquisitive about your interest after over a month has past. The subject has long since been discussed and I have moved on to happier times.

Mods, feel free to close this thread permanently.

[CryptKicker]

No reason to close the thread. Members are free to comment on anything in COED in any forum that strikes their interest whether it's fresh or 30+ days ago. Lots of folks don't have the time to look in on topics daily or even weekly.

[Risn2TheOccasion]

Your playground, your rules. So be it.

[Cap'n Crunch]

Sage advice:

When you hobby. Leave your colostomy bag at the door.

When they know too much, eventually it will leak.