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The Sandbox - Austin The Sandbox is a collection of off-topic discussions. Humorous threads, Sports talk, and a wide variety of other topics can be found here. If it's NOT an adult-themed topic, then it belongs here

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Old 05-16-2010, 10:26 AM   #31
Tex9401
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Agent Smith: You hear that Mr. Anderson?... That is the sound of inevitability... It is the sound of your death... Goodbye, Mr. Anderson...
Neo: My name... is Neo.



Tank: So what do you need? Besides a miracle.
Neo: Guns. Lots of guns.



[Neo walks through a metal detector in the lobby and is approached by a security guard after it goes off]
Security guard: Could you please remove any metallic items you may be carrying, keys, loose change...
[Neo opens his trench coat to reveal dozens of guns underneath]
Security guard: Holy shit!
[Neo knocks the guard down and shoots the other guards]



Alley Thug: All right, you want it in the chest, or the head?
Joe Hallenbeck: Yeah, that's what your wife said.
Alley Thug: Hey, would you stop with the wife shit?
Joe Hallenbeck: Ask me how fat she is.
Alley Thug: Fuck you, man! How fat is she?
Joe Hallenbeck: She's so fat I had to roll her in flour and look for the wet spot. Motherfucker, if you wanna fuck her you gotta slap her thigh and ride the wave in. Now I'm not saying she's fat, her high school picture was an aerial photograph.


[Joe has just found out that Mike was sleeping with his wife]
Mike Mathews: It just happened, Joe. It...
Joe Hallenbeck: Sure, sure, I know... it just happened. Coulda happened to anybody. It was an accident, right? You tripped, slipped on the floor and accidentally stuck your dick in my wife. "Whoops! I'm so sorry, Mrs. H. I guess this just isn't my week."

Joe is talking to a puppet on his hand]



Joe Hallenbeck: [speaking as puppet] Why did Mr. Milo cross the road?
Joe Hallenbeck: I don't know. Why?
Joe Hallenbeck: [speaking as puppet] Because his dick was stuck in a chicken!



Milo: You think you're so fuckin' cool, don't you? You think you're so fuckin' cool. Well just once, I would like to hear you scream, in pain.
Joe Hallenbeck: Play some rap music. Joe Hallenbeck: Hey, you got a car here? Hey! You got a car?
Pool Owner: Yeah.
Joe Hallenbeck: Give me the keys.
Pool Owner: No way.
Joe Hallenbeck: [Holds his gun to Darian's head] Give me the keys or I shoot the kid.

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Old 05-16-2010, 10:46 AM   #32
rdodger
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You gonna do somethin'? Or are you just gonna stand there and bleed?

Kurt Russell as Wyatt Earp in Tombstone
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Old 05-16-2010, 11:54 AM   #33
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There are so many but my all time favorite movie - Harold & Maude. I forced all my friends in college to watch it with me ... as a result I lost some friends :-)

"Do you ... enjoy ... knives?"

"A lot of people enjoy being dead. But they are not dead, really. They're just backing away from life. *Reach* out. Take a *chance*. Get *hurt* even. But play as well as you can. Go team, go! Give me an L. Give me an I. Give me a V. Give me an E. L-I-V-E. LIVE! Otherwise, you got nothing to talk about in the locker room."
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Old 05-16-2010, 10:26 PM   #34
rekcaSxT
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Wooderson: Man, it's the same bullshit they tried to pull in my day. If it ain't that piece of paper, there's some other choice they're gonna try and make for you. You gotta do what Randall Pink Floyd wants to do man. Let me tell you this, the older you do get the more rules they're gonna try to get you to follow. You just gotta keep livin' man, L-I-V-I-N.

-Dazed and Confused

Wooderson: That's what I love about these {UT} school girls, man. I get older, they stay the same age. Yes they do, yes they do.

-Dazed and Confused (edited by me to keep from being innapropriate)
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Old 05-17-2010, 12:58 AM   #35
GneissGuy
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Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
The dead rising from the grave!
Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!


There is no spoon.
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Old 05-17-2010, 02:56 AM   #36
onehitwonder
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"that's just geography." Pretty Woman after Edward offers to rent her an apt
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Old 05-17-2010, 03:01 AM   #37
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"if I forget to tell you later on, I had a really nice time tonight" Pretty Woman (Vivian when they're on their way to the opera)
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Old 05-17-2010, 06:51 AM   #38
Happy Diver
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Rick: "I came to Casablanca for the waters"
Louis: "Waters? There are no waters in Casablanca."
Rick: "I was misinformed."
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Old 05-17-2010, 07:46 AM   #39
screwey
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“Welcome to Costco. I Love You.”
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Old 05-17-2010, 08:26 AM   #40
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Here's another that I absolutely love and have borrowed a few times from Terms of Endearment.
Jack Nicholson to a snooty Shirley McLaine on their first date.
Breedlove: You're just going to have to trust me about this, this one thing. You need a lot of drinks.
Aurora: To break the ice?
Breedlove: To kill the bug that you have up your ass.


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Old 05-17-2010, 08:59 AM   #41
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Another great one that comes to mind (yes, pun intended)
"You can cum anywhere except in my hair! I just did my hair. You can't cum in my hair!"

Elizebeth Shue
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Old 05-17-2010, 09:36 AM   #42
St.Mateo
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"I wanna take his face off"
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Old 05-17-2010, 10:36 AM   #43
Perfect 10 Escorts
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Some of my favorites are:

All of Val Kilmer's quips from Tombstone

Just about every line of Judd Nelson's in The Breakfast Club

----------------

Face/Off:

Castor Troy: "Well, I've gotta go. I've got a government job to abuse, and a lonely wife to fuck"

Castor Troy: "Lies, deceit, mixed messages... this is turning into a real marriage."

----------------

The Goonies:

Francis Fratelli: Tell us everything! Everything!
Lawrence "Chunk" Cohen: Everything. OK! I'll talk! In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog...When my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out...But the worst thing I ever done -- I mixed a pot of fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa -- and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. I never felt so bad in my entire life.
Jake Fratelli: I'm beginning to like this kid, Ma!

---------

Robin Hood: Men in Tights:

Sherrif of Rottingham: "A chastity belt! That's really going to chafe my willy!"

-----------------

Sixteen Candles:

Ginny: I love Rudy, and he is totally enamored of me. I mean, other men have loved me, but not for six whole months in a row.

[Caroline is very drunk.]
Caroline: Who's he? [Points to Farmer Ted]
Jake: That's me.
Caroline: Who are you?
Jake: I'm him. [Points to Farmer Ted]
Caroline: Oh, ok.

--------------

And last but not least, the peyote scene in Young Guns

Sure was a lot of 'em, I could go all day but these are just some of my faves...
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Old 05-17-2010, 12:20 PM   #44
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Here's 10 good ones from AMC's Top 50 Movie Quotes:

)
"I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am, let's face it."
- TERRY MALLOY (Marlon Brando) in On the Waterfront (1954)


"Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me."
- BEN BRADDOCK (Dustin Hoffman) in The Graduate (1967)


"Hey, don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love."
- ALVY SINGER (Woody Allen) in Annie Hall (1977)


"And I say, 'Hey, Lama, hey, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know.' And he says, 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will receive total consciousness.' So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."
- CARL SPACKLER (Bill Murray) in Caddyshack (1980)


"Excuse me while I whip this out."
- BART (Cleavon Little) in Blazing Saddles (1974)


"I'm your worst f---ing nightmare, man. I'm a nigger with a badge."
- REGGIE HAMMOND (Eddie Murphy) in 48 HRS. (1982)


"That's what I love about these high school girls, man: I get older, they stay the same age."
- WOODERSON (Matthew McConaughey) in Dazed and Confused (1993)


"Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son."
- DEAN WORMER (John Vernon) in National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)


"Joey, do you like movies about gladiators?"
- CAPTAIN OVEUR (Peter Graves) in Airplane! (1980)


"You want me to strap her to the hood?...She'll be fine. It's not as if it's going to rain or something."
- CLARK GRISWOLD (Chevy Chase) in National Lampoon's Vacation (1983)
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Old 05-17-2010, 01:15 PM   #45
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Blade to Dracula: You're not immortal. I must've heard hundreds of you rodents make the same claim. Each one of them has tasted the end of my sword.
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