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The Sandbox - Austin The Sandbox is a collection of off-topic discussions. Humorous threads, Sports talk, and a wide variety of other topics can be found here. If it's NOT an adult-themed topic, then it belongs here

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Old 05-18-2010, 12:20 AM   #61
Tex9401
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Die Hard:
Theo: [laughing as a LAPD SWAT armored vehicle is hit with a missile] Oh my God, the quarterback is TOAST!

McClane tries to call up police]
Supervisor: Attention, whoever you are. This channel is reserved for emergency calls only.
John McClane: No fucking shit, lady. Do I sound like I'm ordering a pizza?


on the radio]
Hans Gruber: Mr. Mystery Guest? Are you still there?
John McClane: Yeah, I'm still here. Unless you wanna open the front door for me.
Hans Gruber: Uh, no, I'm afraid not. But, you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he's John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?
John McClane: Was always kinda partial to Roy Rogers actually. I really like those sequined shirts.
Hans Gruber: Do you really think you have a chance against us, Mr. Cowboy?
John McClane: Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.


John McClane: [huddled in an air vent, recalls his wife's invitation] "Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs..."
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Old 05-18-2010, 12:31 AM   #62
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Live Free or Die Hard:
Matt Farrell: Have you done stuff like that before?
John McClane: Stuff like what?
Matt Farrell: Like killing people?
John McClane: Yeah. But not for a long time.
Matt Farrell: [upset] So, who were those guys? Huh? Why were they trying to kill you? Why'd they blow up my goddamn apartment?
John McClane: They were there to kill you.
Matt Farrell: Why would they wanna kill me?
John McClane: You tell me, kid. You're the criminal.


Matt Farrell: You just killed a helicopter with a car!
John McClane: I was out of bullets.


Thomas Gabriel: You're very impressed with yourself, aren't you?
John McClane: I have my moments.


John McClane: Mai? Oh, yeah. Little Asian chick, likes to kick people? I don't think she's gonna be talkin' to anybody for a really long time. Last time I saw her she was at the bottom of a elevator shaft with an SUV rammed up her ass.

The Warlock: What, like, you a big fan of the Fett?
John McClane: [standing next to a stand-up cardboard cut-out of Boba Fett] No. I was always more of a Star Wars guy.


John McClane: I know I'm not as smart as you guys with all this computer shit. But, hey... I'm still alive, ain't I? I mean, you've *got* to be running out of bad guys by now, right? Huh? Gabriel? Honestly, you can tell me. I mean, how does that work? Got some kind of service or something? Some kind of 800 number? 1-800-HENCHMEN? Oh, you know what? I bet you're still on hold with, "Can I get another dead Asian hooker bitch over here right away?"
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Old 05-18-2010, 12:56 AM   #63
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Swordfish:
Gabriel: Have you ever heard of Harry Houdini? Well he wasn't like today's magicians who are only interested in television ratings. He was an artist. He could make an elephant disappear in the middle of a theater filled with people, and do you know how he did that? Misdirection.
Stanley: What the fuck are you talking about?
Gabriel: Misdirection. What the eyes see and the ears hear, the mind believes.


Stanley: It's not gonna end like this.
Gabriel: Oh, come on, Stan. Not everything ends the way you think it should. Besides, audiences love happy endings.


Marco: [looks at Stanley while packing away a rocket launcher] What?
[pauses then looks to a hostage]
Marco: I know what you're thinking. You're thinking: If that launcher was a suppository, would that bad man stick it up my ass? Well, you eyeball me once more boy,
[puts a handgun to the hostage's head]
Marco: and i'll stick it so far up your ass you'll be begging me for this bullet.


Axl Torvalds: He exists in a world beyond your world. What we only fantasize, he does. He lives a life where nothing is beyond him. But you know what? It's all a facade. For all his charm and charisma, his wealth, his expensive toys... he's a driven, unflinching, calculating machine. He takes what he wants, when he wants... and disappears.

Stanley: And you are?
Ginger: I'm Ginger.
Stanley: Where's Gilligan?
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Old 05-18-2010, 01:11 AM   #64
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Apollo 13:
Jim Lovell: Houston, we have a problem.

Sy Liebergot: Flight... I recommend we shut down reactant valves to the fuel cells.
Gene Kranz: What the hell good is that gonna do?
Sy Liebergot: If that's where the leak is, we can isolate it. We can save what's left in the tanks and we can run on the good cell.
Gene Kranz: You close 'em, you can't open 'em again! You can't land on the moon with one healthy fuel cell!
Sy Liebergot: Gene, the Odyssey is *dying*. From my chair here, this is the last option.


Patty: How do you go to the bathroom in space?
Jim Lovell: Well, um... I tell you it's a very complicated procedure that involves cranking down the window and looking for a gas station.


Reporter: So... the number 13 doesn't bother you?
Fred Haise, Sr.: Only if it's a Friday, Phil.
Reporter: Apollo 13 - lifting off at 1300 hours and 13 minutes, and, entering the moon's gravity on April 13th.
Jim Lovell: Uh, Ken Mattingly has been doing some... scientific experiments regarding that very phenomenon, haven't you?
Ken Mattingly: Well, uh, yes, well I uh, had a black cat walk over a broken mirror under the lunar module ladder, didn't seem to be a problem.
Fred Haise, Sr.: We also consider a real helpful letter we got from a fellow who said we ought to take a pig up with us for good luck.
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Old 05-18-2010, 08:00 AM   #65
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* I need your clothes, your boots, and yo motocycle* - Terminator
* THAT was a petty..good..day...why couldn't I be stuck in THAT day* - Groundhog day
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Old 05-19-2010, 04:42 PM   #66
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"People on 'ludes should not drive"
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Old 05-23-2010, 01:12 PM   #67
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You can do it- water boy
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Old 05-24-2010, 09:33 AM   #68
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"Thank you sir, may I have another?" Chip, Animal House as he is being spanked (Kevin Bacon's first role).
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Old 05-24-2010, 02:56 PM   #69
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"What do you think, darling? Should I hate him?" Doc. Holliday.

"You don't even know him." Kate.

"Yes, but there's just something about him. Something around the eyes, I don't know, reminds me of... me. No. I'm sure of it, I hate him." Doc. Holliday.
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Old 05-24-2010, 04:07 PM   #70
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Talking Don't Get Me Started...too late!

I have a silly sense of humor, I know, but I can pretty much quote any of the lines in the first two Austin Powers movies:

Dr Evil: "You had me at hello...tear."
Dr. Evil: "One for me and one for my homies"
Dr. Evil: "Don't worry, Mama, it won't get weird."
Dr. Evil: "He is the snake to my mongoose...or is it the mongoose to my snake...I don't know animals...."
Austin Powers: "He likes a little dog or something...poor litle bugger."
Dr. Evil to his son, Scott: "You're just not evil enough...you're quazi-evil...you're like the diet coke of evil...just one calorie...not evil enough"
Dr. Evil to his son, Scott: "Zip it!...When a problem comes along, you must Zip It!...Ladies and Gentleman of the jury, ExZIP IT A...would you like a ZIP IT of my nipple?...www.ZIP IT.com...org"

And I could go on....

Van Wilder:

Taj (Van's assistant): "I want to learn the great art of muff-diving...I want to take it to the car wash baby...I want to air dry that sh*t...."
Van: "Don't be a fool...stay in school...write that down"
Van: "If he's here, then who's running hell?"
Van: "Don't thank me, thank penicillen."

Happy Gilmore:

Happy's Grandma: "May I trouble you for a glass of warm milk please...it helps me sleep?"
Ben Stiller (as the nurse assistant): "How about a warm glass of Shut The Hell Up?"
Older Lady That Resides in Nursing Home: "My fingers are hurting...."
Ben Stiller: "Oh, well guess what, your back is gonna be hurting now as you just pulled yard duty...does anyone else's fingers hurt?"

Raising Arizona:

Hi: "I'll take all the cash in the register and these here Huggies"
Hi: "Honey, me and the boys are gonna step outside for a little...coca cola"
Hi: "Her womb was a place where my seed could find no perch"

And like I said, I could go on....
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