New client seeking advice

[sumpett]

After begging for years to get some good passionate sex out of my wife, I have come to the conclusion that it simply is not going to happen. I have decided to see if I can find a good, consistent provider to fulfill my passion-starved sexual desires on occasion.

I have been watching backpage to look for a consistent provider poster, and stumbled into the eccie site, so I thought I would ask some questions on here to get some answers from the experts.

1) Discretion is an absolute necessity. I love my wife, but I have needs that she simply is not willing to fulfill. Short of not doing anything, what are the best steps I can take to keep everything discreet, yet also make the provider feel safe to be with me?
2) My understanding is that we should never talk money for services with the providers. I assume that means that when I make contact with her, she is going to tell me it will cost "X dollars for Y time with her". Does that mean when we meet I hand her an envelope with X dollars in it, or do I go into the bathroom and lay it on the counter...how does that transaction go down?
3) Should I also include a tip with that money, or is the fee supposed to cover services provided? If I tip also, what is a considerate tip amount? If I find a good one, I want to make sure that she is as happy to be with me as I am with her, and eager to answer my call again.
4) I am a professional, clean (and clean-shaven) husky man, but is there anything I should do to prepare for our visit that she might appreciate? Again, I want her to be happy to see me.

Thanks for any advice.

[HeyBabyQuePaso]

i think most of the guys here are in a similar position as you. FWIW, here is some advice, point by point:

1. Create a separate email address that you will ONLY use for the hobby. Use it for nothing else. Only access this email account from a private browsing session so no browser history, etc is left behind. Also, get a separate phone for hobby use only (use Tracphone or other pr-paid wireless service and keep this phone WELL HIDDEN). Pay cash only for this phone, and for airtime. ONLY use this phone for hobby purposes.

Your next step should be to create an account for yourself with P411. This is a screening service used by many providers. You can associate your hobby email with your P411 account. It will cost you some $$, but I have found it to be worth its weight in gold. Providers like this service, and it definitely puts them at ease as far as screening goes. P411 will want some real-world info from you, but this will be the only time you would need to provide it to anyone from then on. I have never had providers ask for additional info.

2. When looking up providers on P411, they will have their rates listed (like here on ECCIE as well when you look at their showcase info). When you arrive at her place, after the initial greeting at the door, place the money where she can see it and excuse yourself to go "freshen up"

3. Tips are generally not necessary unless the lady went above and beyond what is expected during the session (which can happen!). They definitely appreciate it. But it is generally not necessary

4. Fill out your P411 profile, providers will be able to see that you are "husky"; not a big deal to most of them..they see all kinds. They especially appreciate it if you are freshly showered, and your dick, balls, and taint are freshly shaved. This works out better for you in the long run, trust me! I think what they appreciate most is that you do not try to haggle, don't waste their time with endless texts(keep it short and business related), show up on time, and leave when you are supposed to (the best providers are not "clock watchers" and will not be totally strict on this, but YMMV).

after your session, write a review here on ECCIE following the guidelines, and you will get premium access for a few weeks. This allows you to view the "rest of the story" in the reviews section, which will give you much better insight as far as who to see next, etc. Many girls here on ECCIE are on P411 as well. Research is definitely your friend. Stick to the well-reviewed girls and you will do more than fine.

[Willen]

You have gotten good advice, and I write as a 10+ year member.

Choose escorts based on a history of good reviews, subject to your own predilections. When in doubt, choose a safe track record over some attribute (e.g. chest size). In real estate, they say "location, location, location." In the hobby, think "attitude, attitude, attitude" [i.e. on the part of the provider.

Also, most of the time in my experience you get treated (subject to doing research per the previous paragraph) the way you treat your play partner. Respect begets respect, enthusiasm begets enthusiasm, etc. If she does not respond in kind to your approach, red flags go up. My advice, enjoy as best you can, and move on from there.

Happy hobbying.

[1angelinajones]

Originally Posted by sumpett

After begging for years to get some good passionate sex out of my wife, I have come to the conclusion that it simply is not going to happen. I have decided to see if I can find a good, consistent provider to fulfill my passion-starved sexual desires on occasion.

I have been watching backpage to look for a consistent provider poster, and stumbled into the eccie site, so I thought I would ask some questions on here to get some answers from the experts.

1) Discretion is an absolute necessity. I love my wife, but I have needs that she simply is not willing to fulfill. Short of not doing anything, what are the best steps I can take to keep everything discreet, yet also make the provider feel safe to be with me?
2) My understanding is that we should never talk money for services with the providers. I assume that means that when I make contact with her, she is going to tell me it will cost "X dollars for Y time with her". Does that mean when we meet I hand her an envelope with X dollars in it, or do I go into the bathroom and lay it on the counter...how does that transaction go down?
3) Should I also include a tip with that money, or is the fee supposed to cover services provided? If I tip also, what is a considerate tip amount? If I find a good one, I want to make sure that she is as happy to be with me as I am with her, and eager to answer my call again.
4) I am a professional, clean (and clean-shaven) husky man, but is there anything I should do to prepare for our visit that she might appreciate? Again, I want her to be happy to see me.

Thanks for any advice.

It appears all of your excellent queries were answered except
with regards to "necessary preparations" for the hobby.

As a bisexual provider with an "oral obsession",
I truly appreciate the "netherlands" to be sans hair.

However, the fact that you are married, I pose the question; do you already
manscape as part of your hygiene routine, or would commencing this desired
grooming, raise a "red flag" with your wife?

If it would, may I politely suggest you tell her you've been as of late, having some sweat
issues there, and you've googled that it's best to keep the area hair-free.
Also, you may find it to be so much more comfortable with summer coming.
So many men and women, both young and not so much, do so these days. If you were to be
in a public men's locker room, you wouldn't look out of place.

As a participant of the "bald eagle club", since my teens, I also suggest, it is wonderful, and easier
to get the area waxed, as the regrow is soft and sparse, as compared to daily shaving,
which is less so. Many wax places do the "manscaping" for you. No worries about any
embarrassment, as they've seen it all, trust me.
Happy Hobbying!
Warmest,
Angelina Jones
http://www.m2shorty.gfefiles.com

[Guest072918]

All great advice. Let me add my 2 cents.

For extra security, get a hobby laptop and use it ONLY for the hobby. Never put civilian information on your hobby computer or hobby information on your civilian computer. And NEVER do anything hobby related on your work computer or network. I also download free porn so if my computer is discovered, I have an alibi.

If you can see a newbie friendly lady and she is on P411, she can vouch for you and you won't have to even give them an civilian information. But the paid membership is well worth it.

In addition to the grooming, trim your fingernails and toenails a day or two before you see the lady and make sure there are no rough edges. No one likes to get scratched, especially in sensitive areas.

Shower and shave within the hour of seeing a lady. If you can't and you are visiting her, ask to use her shower. She will be happy to comply and appreciate that your are fresh for her.

When seeing a lady at a hotel in your hometown, always plant a pre-story with your SO such as a business lunch or dinner with someone visiting from out of town. And, if confronted, you went in their car, so that is why your vehicle was at the Days Inn for 2 hours, just in case anyone sees it and tells her. After a while, you won't even need to plant a pre-story, if business lunches with out of towners becomes a new pattern for you and accepted.

As above, research is your best friend. Attitude and compatibility are the two biggest indicators of someone you will have a good time with. I've had some amazing times with ladies that I wouldn't have taken a second glance at on the street, as well as some not so good times with some drop dead gorgeous ladies. And vice-versa.

Finally, this hobby is habit forming. Drink deep or taste not the Pierian spring.

[sumpett]

Thanks for the advice all.

It looks like the hard part is going to be finding an "accredited" provider willing to take in and reference a newbie, so that I can get a P411 account and verified.

How do you know "what is expected for the session"? Do you discuss what you want from them up front...thought that was a no-no.

As for shaving the nethers...been bald down there for decades. It's sooo much nicer.

I actually plan on trying to find a provider in a nearby city rather than in my home city, to help minimize the chance of being seen.

As for it being habit forming...I've been a nympho for a long time, now I just need to find someone to share it with.

Thanks again for the help!

[RedLeg505]

Originally Posted by sumpett

How do you know "what is expected for the session"? Do you discuss what you want from them up front...thought that was a no-no.

Short answer: I get the "expected amount for the session" from the ladies' showcase on ECCIE since you don't have P411 yet. If the lady doesn't list her rate in her showcase.. you have two choices, 1) move on to someone else or 2) send her a PM asking what info she needs to screen you. Once screened and cleared, they are more willing to discuss hourly rates expected. Yes, we try to avoid discussing money, ESPECIALLY if linked to mention of specific acts in return for that money, however, if they don't list it, they have to be willing to mention it later so you know how much to bring.

I found a great icebreaker was to read what they put in their "favorite beverage" entry in their showcase and bring that. If you do... it MUST be still sealed when you arrive and only open it in their presence.

Otherwise, I fully agree with every other suggestion offered to you thus far.

[sumpett]

Thanks for the info!

[PiperPosh]

A few tips from me that may or may not occur to most are:

Show up freshly showered, as mentioned. If not possible, then ask the lady beforehand if you can shower at her place. If she is at a hotel please do not allow her to get a washcloth to wipe you up with after the session, and then use an additional towel to dry off from a shower. If you're going to shower, you can tell her to skip the washcloth. Likewise, if you showered at her place earlier do not use a new towel if you shower at her location later. This is because hotels provide a limited amount of towels, and requesting new ones too often can raise red flags at a hotel. Your session may be interrupted by staff asking if everything is OK, or you may tip off LE. Just use as few towels as possible.

You don't have to ask if she'll be willing to do anything listed on her menu, but it is polite to ask before you do anything.

Brush and floss your teeth before your session. Flossing makes a huge difference in breath freshness, especially.

Don't pull back the covers on the bed if they're not already pulled back. A lady may have to remake the bed several times a day and it gets tiresome to have to redo the whole thing each time. Besides, there may be a wet spot under there!

Try not to be too messy when you ejaculate. Into a rubber is fine, but if you're finishing anywhere else, be respectful of the fact that she may have guests coming after you and they will not like laying down in your wet spot.

Don't touch her face or kiss her face (besides mouth, if she allows it), unless she asks you to. Many of us apply makeup and don't always bring it with us to make touchups. And try not to press against her face with your shoulders when you're on top.
Similarly, it's polite to ask before you touch a lady's hair. She might have extensions, a wig, or weave that would make her recoil if you touched it. Same thing goes if she simply puts a lot of effort into styling her hair. I don't mind when guys touch mine now, but back when I used to curl my hair, I didn't like it.

And it's probably been mentioned that it's polite to leave the donation up front, where she can see it. Even if you do not get what you want out of the session, it is polite to leave the donation anyway. If she feels you did not mesh well and is a quality provider, she will likely give you a refund or partial refund regardless. But please do not ask for her to do this.

Do careful research before choosing a provider. A good choice for a newbie is a provider with several years experience, at least. That way it's not the blind leading the blind, so to speak.

Please don't ask her real name, where she lives, or how much money she makes. If you visit her at an apartment, don't ask her how much she pays for it. Even if you're curious and you feel really comfortable with her, it's better if she tells you these things herself on her own terms.

And I would like to add: do not discuss her rates, the donation, or anything regarding money during the session, unless she brings it up first. Settle these matters beforehand. It is not impolite to PM a provider to ask her for her current rates.
If she has posted a special rate in an ad, it is OK to mention it in your PM in order to make sure it is still valid. But if she has not posted a special rate, it is not polite to ask her for her "specials." It makes you look cheap and insinuates to her that you don't think she's worth what she's charging.

[shyboy69]

I must add to be polite when arriving!! I believe some guys treat these ladies as an object they've bought and paid for. They get in, get off, and then get away. Which is NOT the case. Remember, they're people too. And doing YOU a favor! And would like to have fun also!!!

As a newbie, try to relax! I can't say this enough! RELAX AND HAVE FUN!!

And remember everyone has a preference on the kinda guy they like also. Or can have a bad day. I'll see a gal a few times I'm attracted to, before coming to the conclusion she's just not for me. I personally am uncomfortable posting my activities. But if you're posting a review, remember to keep you feelings aside. Post your activities. If she delivered everything on the menu, but there wasn't any chemistry. Then post that.

As Angelina as posted above, I too have an oral fetish. And even though I'm a single short Sam, doesn't mean she is. I REALLY enjoy pleasing my gal friends as well! And doing so will be rewarded by her willingness to see you again and other gals choosing to see you. As I have a reputation for being a nice guy and a lot of fun.

When you find a gal that you really click with, don't be afraid to see her often. The more you see someone, the more comfortable you with each other. And the sessions will become better and better as you learn each other' bodies! But remember too, this is her job. She's not going to run away with you, or see you exclusively!

[anita]

My menu and rates are in my showcase. If the lady you are interested in doesn't have hers listed, most likely at least the rates are on her website (and you can check out her reviews for activities). You have gotten really great advice, make good use of them.

[RafaelH]

Excellent thread, I'll add a couple of comments:

Breath--a poster mentioned brushing & flossing, you should also follow this up with mouthwash. This should be done as close to your scheduled date as possible, no matter how many time you did it earlier in the day.

Tipping--while the donation covers the time and company, the ladies always appreciate a little extra. If the session matches my expectations I'll usually tip 20. If some of my favorite subjects come up I'll tip 50. If a few more of my favorite subjects come up I'll tip more. I've left a benjamin a few times but those ladies are rare. One thing that ALWAYS warrants a tip is going overtime.

If she's mechanical, scripted, or we just don't click I usually won't tip, but I'm enough of a sucker for the ladies that even then I'll leave a jackson or two. But I won't call them again.