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Old 07-24-2010, 09:19 AM   #1
Alex Lieberman
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Default Smoking and Kissing

I'm curious. I'm not a smoker so when I see a hobbyist who is it is very difficult to mask my aversion to it. For me it's like kissing a ashtray. No matter how much mouthwash they gargle with I can still smell it and taste it.

How do other providers and hobbyists feel about the whole smoking issue?

Alex
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Old 07-24-2010, 09:27 AM   #2
drgris
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+1..smoking is about the biggest turn-off out there for me.
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Old 07-24-2010, 02:11 PM   #3
Laurentius
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Default She's my GF for a couple of hours, not my wife

I'm not a regular or even social smoker (though I will rarely take a puff), nevertheless I believe, given the widespread use of tobacco in past eras in this country, that a great deal of aversion to the practice is based upon psychopathologization of smoking moreso than its actual organoleptic qualities. Remember, about 99% of anything is between one's ears; and perception is seriously colored by our software.

About half of the providers I see smoke. The other half don't. I can ascertain no difference in the quality of the time we spend together based upon that variable.

I want an escort in my company to be comfortable. She's my GF for a couple of hours; and if she would normally smoke around a BF, then she can smoke around me. I would rather have her smoke than not be able to wait to get me out the door so she can light up. It's really no big deal. A little second-hand smoke like that is no more dangerous than sitting around a campfire. (ALL burning organic materials -- scented candles, incense, campfires, meat burned on the grill -- contain carcinogens.)

In my opinion, recognizing that her occupation is a matter of her right to control her own body; it would be crazy for me to say "Your body, your choice -- EXCEPT for where I disagree." Her right to her body is absolute and inviolable; and the price of that right is she ultimately takes responsibility for the results of her choices in that regard. As SHE is the one taking responsibility, I have no standing to say anything.

The women I see are not stupid. In fact, they are uniformly incredibly bright. There is nothing I am going to tell them that they don't already know and haven't taken into consideration. She's my GF for a couple of hours -- not my wife.

The one thing I don't like to see is providers *apologizing* for smoking, as though their adoption of the practice is some sort of moral degeneracy that makes them somehow answerable to others. If you are going to light up, then by all means do so, and don't apologize.

True, given my druthers in an absolutely perfect world, the escort probably wouldn't smoke. BUT, if I see an escort I have selected her very carefully for a number of important qualities including intellect and ethics. I am absolutely NOT going to reject such a woman based upon something so superficial.
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Old 07-24-2010, 02:24 PM   #4
RachaelBenedict
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I don't smoke, but it doesn't bother me. I don't want my place to smell like smoke, so I don't allow smoking inside it... but if we're not there, then I don't care if my patron smokes.

I guess in previous mainstream employment and elsewhere in life I've had to smell much worse than cigarette or cigar smoke (if you work around animals or old people for a long time, you probably understand), so I've learned to turn my sense of smelling bad things off, or maybe I just desensitize quicker.
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Old 07-24-2010, 02:31 PM   #5
Katy Alexander
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Very well said, I can think of many far worse habits that a person could have( my dog eats dog poop sometimes) .I do not smoke, but if my client does and he is in my home I hand him the ashtray so he can smoke to his hearts content.I can understand why some people may not want their homes to smell of it, but mine already smells like dog, so I am good.

We sure have become a country of nit pickers. I would hope that any woman who decides to work as an escort would have an open mind when it comes to the variety of men she is likely to meet.



Quote:
Originally Posted by Laurentius View Post
I'm not a regular or even social smoker (though I will rarely take a puff), nevertheless I believe, given the widespread use of tobacco in past eras in this country, that a great deal of aversion to the practice is based upon psychopathologization of smoking moreso than its actual organoleptic qualities. Remember, about 99% of anything is between one's ears; and perception is seriously colored by our software.

About half of the providers I see smoke. The other half don't. I can ascertain no difference in the quality of the time we spend together based upon that variable.

I want an escort in my company to be comfortable. She's my GF for a couple of hours; and if she would normally smoke around a BF, then she can smoke around me. I would rather have her smoke than not be able to wait to get me out the door so she can light up. It's really no big deal. A little second-hand smoke like that is no more dangerous than sitting around a campfire. (ALL burning organic materials -- scented candles, incense, campfires, meat burned on the grill -- contain carcinogens.)

In my opinion, recognizing that her occupation is a matter of her right to control her own body; it would be crazy for me to say "Your body, your choice -- EXCEPT for where I disagree." Her right to her body is absolute and inviolable; and the price of that right is she ultimately takes responsibility for the results of her choices in that regard. As SHE is the one taking responsibility, I have no standing to say anything.

The women I see are not stupid. In fact, they are uniformly incredibly bright. There is nothing I am going to tell them that they don't already know and haven't taken into consideration. She's my GF for a couple of hours -- not my wife.

The one thing I don't like to see is providers *apologizing* for smoking, as though their adoption of the practice is some sort of moral degeneracy that makes them somehow answerable to others. If you are going to light up, then by all means do so, and don't apologize.

True, given my druthers in an absolutely perfect world, the escort probably wouldn't smoke. BUT, if I see an escort I have selected her very carefully for a number of important qualities including intellect and ethics. I am absolutely NOT going to reject such a woman based upon something so superficial.
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Old 07-24-2010, 03:16 PM   #6
pjorourke
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Becky View Post
We sure have become a country of nit pickers.
Now talk about nasty habits...
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Old 07-24-2010, 03:37 PM   #7
Katy Alexander
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pjorourke View Post
Now talk about nasty habits...
LOL, you see between the nit pickers, and Edward eating poop. The habit of smoking isn't looking so bad now.
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Old 07-24-2010, 04:02 PM   #8
John Bull
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Becky View Post
LOL, you see between the nit pickers, and Edward eating poop. The habit of smoking isn't looking so bad now.
From a person who has some experience with kennels, feed Lord Ed some canned tomatoes once a week or so. He'll stop eating poop!
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Old 07-24-2010, 04:03 PM   #9
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Can I suggest doggie-style?
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Old 07-24-2010, 04:18 PM   #10
Katy Alexander
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John Bull View Post
From a person who has some experience with kennels, feed Lord Ed some canned tomatoes once a week or so. He'll stop eating poop!

Thanks, I will give it a try.
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Old 07-24-2010, 05:18 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Alex Lieberman View Post
I'm curious. I'm not a smoker so when I see a hobbyist who is it is very difficult to mask my aversion to it. For me it's like kissing a ashtray. No matter how much mouthwash they gargle with I can still smell it and taste it.

How do other providers and hobbyists feel about the whole smoking issue?

Alex
I would prefer non-smokers. I agree on the kissing an ashtray thing. In fact, when clients want to book, I ask them if they're smokers. +1 for this thread.
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Old 07-24-2010, 06:55 PM   #12
Chainsaw Anthropologist
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As a former smoker I've never been particularly bothered by others smoking around me or being in smoky areas, but........

Recently I had an appointment with a provider who readily acknowledged in her profile being a user of cigarettes. Upon entry to her incall the cigarette odor was very noticeable and, in conjunction with butts in her sink drain, I should have cut my losses and left. Instead I stayed and found that kissing her southern end was far more tasty than her mouth!

As a result, this is something that I now check on every profile I review.
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Old 07-24-2010, 06:56 PM   #13
Carrie Hillcrest
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Unfortunately, most people who smoke don't realize how bad they smell and taste to non-smokers. I know: I'm a former smoker. I had NO idea. Smoking blunts your sense of smell and taste, and you get accustomed to what cigarette odor you can smell, so how could you know how bad it is? I knew people made "like kissing an ashtray" comments (about other people, not directly to me) but it didn't sink in that I was among that group. I seriously can't believe I ever willingly made myself smell and taste that bad.

It doesn't have anything to do with having an open mind, but more to do with having taste buds and a sense of smell...

I'd screen for smokers, but I *have* met a handful who have been successful at refraining from smoking before and while I'm with them, or if they can't keep from smoking before, have been able to brush/mouthwash/mask it well enough that it's not a major issue. Sadly, that's not been true for all of them.
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Old 07-24-2010, 08:38 PM   #14
Katy Alexander
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Carrie Hillcrest View Post

It doesn't have anything to do with having an open mind, but more to do with having taste buds and a sense of smell...

.
It is true that you can taste the difference when kissing a smoker, but not as extreme as some people like to complain about.My boyfriend had smoked from the age of 14. He was such a clean freak you could barely smell , or taste it on him .Most of the smokers I have known are well aware of the fact that people do not like the smell. Many do go out of their way to respect the feelings of non smokers.Smoking can be such a tough habit to quit I am just happy that I never started, especially with today's extreme attitude towards the topic.
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Old 07-24-2010, 09:06 PM   #15
Mazomaniac
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Becky View Post
It is true that you can taste the difference when kissing a smoker, but not as extreme as some people like to complain about.
I have to take exception to this statement.

People perceive things differently with all of their senses. What may be acceptable to you might be down right vile to another. Just because you can't sense a difference doesn't mean that others are just being overly sensitive. I also keep big dogs and one of my relatives is very put off by that lovely "doggie" smell. I don't complain to her that she's overly sensitive. I just do the polite thing and don't let the dogs near her.

Personally, I'm VERY sensitive to smoke and can tell if someone is a smoker the second they walk into the room. Some have a much stronger smell than others, but I have never met a person who smokes who did not have at least some smell about them. It's just something that I have to live with and I do so politely and respectfully.

I can tell immediately if a provider I see is a smoker and I will only see providers who don't smoke. Even so, I've found myself stuck several times with a date who claimed to be a non-smoker in her profile and clearly wasn't. When confronted with the question all of these young ladies have admitted that they did indeed smoke but "only socially" or "only when I'm out". Doesn't matter. If you smoke, you smoke and people like me will be bothered by it. I end a date immediately at that point. Dishonesty in an ad or profile will not sit with me.

I have no issue if people want to smoke - but please don't bring it around me and then tell me that I can't smell it or shouldn't care. Different people have different tastes and sensitivities. Make it a rule to be polite and honest and all be well for everyone.

Cheers,
Mazo.
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