what do you look for in a Domme or provider Domme

[Guest061511-2]

What is it that you look for in a Domme. Obviously the answers will be different based on different desires, but what things are paramount when choosing a top or Domme? Do looks matter? If you are into more hardcore play and the Domme looks too sweet and innocent does that influence your decision? Would you rather see a Domme that looks harsh and cruel or pretty? What about playspace and dungeon?

[Krunkman]

Men are visual, so looks always factor into something like that. I look for intelligence, compassion, and empathy. Generally speaking, the girls who are less than 30 are not as experienced with domination (and there are some exceptions!), so I tend to prefer a woman who has more life experience to apply to our play sessions.

I kind of giggle when I see images of dommes who are sneering or trying to act all "tough" like in their pictures. A female domme should realize that she is normally at a disadvantage physically, so by trying to present themselves as "tough" like that, it just shows that they don't understand what it is that they are selling.

I personally think that the ads that say silly things like "get on your knees worm!" and others of a similar ilk only appeal to a minority, and they (the dommes) are missing out on other clientele by advertising as such.

Having a dungeon-like play space is probably going to always work better than not having one. While you can indeed do a lot with some rope, your lap, a couple of spreader-bars and the right bondage gear, its never quite the same as having a St. Andrews cross, or a cage or a hoist with which you can properly flog or crop someone. But equipment is applicable only in some play sessions. If they aren't looking for impact play, you can still do a mummification scene with any floorspace. You can still give spankings, or do strap-on play or even caning. As a general rule of thumb I think it certainly can't hurt to have access to dungeon gear.

[myusernam]

Things i consider most valuable are experience, safety (both sanitary and physical), equipment (toys and tools), wardrobe and just as important as any of these others, She must be able to really control the situation. Physically She may or may not actually be able to "control" me, but her ability to be fully in character. The fantasy of "believing" that i am in the control of another is where the mind fuck begins. Just my take...

[Guest061511-2]

I was talking to a friend who was of the opinion that a lot of clients prefer a harsh looking Domme. I hope that's not the case, because I look very sweet and innocent! It wouldn't help my cause any. Thanks for the input guys! Btw... I love your avatar usernam!!

[houston_switch]

I emotional connection is what I look for first, usually by visiting in a public place before playing the first time. A good conversation will get the juices flowing if there is a connection of trust...

After that I am looking for someone who is NOT afraid of hurting me or being able to turn the emotions on afterwards and provide a GFE good time.

[Gus]

I agree with Krunkman 100%. Beyond that I am one who would prefer the sensual type of domination, hardcore tease might be a better word for it. I also can't understand why girls who are by their own admission into footplay never put pics of their feet in the showcase. Feet and especially feet in strappy high heels are things I look for in any prospective partner.

[lilsmurf]

Someone that wont make me all bloody,
and Betty Paige look alikes are what I look for.
and Doms who like glory holes...

[RickO'shayRabbitt]

Britney, she needs to be physically attractive to me. But that doesn't mean she has to look like a cruel, powerful, mean woman. I just need to find her attractive. In fact, not that I am very experienced, but the dommes who rely on the wearing of leather, high heels, whips, chains, etc but don't bring a mind to the table are almost funny to me. My submissive play is just that--a playstyle, not a lifestyle. I want to have fun, play a role and get into a place where I can't/don't in real life.

So I guess I am saying I want someone to whom I am attracted, has a dark yet playful side to her thinking and is capable of listening to me and tailoring a session to fit my needs and desires. The whole dom/sub thing is so nebulous, IMO. It covers alot of ground, but I'm only interested in certain aspects of it, not all.

I understand this probably takes some time to develop trust, understanding and even acceptance.