Freaking Out Over Bareback

[TINAMONET]

its so nice to see other ladies who use protection 100% of the time. i feel no amount of money is worth my health. i realize its a risky business but we can atleast take precautions. just like a firefighter, risky job but he does everything he can to maintain his safety.

[Sweet Heather]

Originally Posted by Tiffany Cums

Sweet Heather, I'm sorry hun, but you are just not making any sense...your comments did not go along with what he said.

And it's just plain dumb for anyone here to keep debating this... IMHO

Oh, OK. So when he says providers should have a "standard of behaviour" but then admits he fucks prostitutes bareback makes perfect sense, right?
I simply took HIS words and replied to them, point by point. Sorry if you can't comprehend it.

[jfred]

Originally Posted by Sweet Heather

Oh, OK. So when he says providers should have a "standard of behaviour" but then admits he fucks prostitutes bareback makes perfect sense, right?

I simply took HIS words and replied to them, point by point. Sorry if you can't comprehend it.

Sweetheart, I think there are standards of behavior for everybody. So if somewhere, sometime I uttered some thing about that applying to providers -- well, probably guilty as charged. Ya got me on that one! ;

But you don't follow ideas well, darlin' (and everyone but you knows that -- I inform you of that in kindness) and what you don't get is that I (I would hope this is obvious) have more or less rational standards of behavior for every area of my life, and that they (more or less) make sense to me. That's the nutshell...grasp it.

As you know, I started this out re-posting something about "how should sex-trade players (male and female) rationally respond to mentions of unprotected sex in discussion threads", or something like that. And from there, sort of predictably, we got into what information affects one's reasoning about things like BB?"

I think it's gone pretty well. I got zero on it on the Dallas board and have appreciated most everyone's participation. Good stuff, and it's helped me to write out some thoughts and, in the process, get a better handle on what I "think" about what I do and don't do. And...it's helped mature my understanding about why ladies might seem overwrought when it comes up.

And I'm keenly aware that you went back and replied "point by [treacherous] point." Your replies indicated that you'd formed no grasp of what I was getting at. It's okay. I'm not upset.

You don't have to post on "my" threads, ya know? We're not really very good together. Why don't we just both steer clear?

P.S. I am grateful that your misunderstanding of what I was saying about the bathing of penises prior to coitus allowed me to clarify. I'm a true believer of that simple act. Hands and fingernails, too -- they get so germy.

[Tiffany Cums]

Originally Posted by Sweet Heather

Oh, OK. So when he says providers should have a "standard of behaviour" but then admits he fucks prostitutes bareback makes perfect sense, right?
I simply took HIS words and replied to them, point by point. Sorry if you can't comprehend it.

Ok, hun, why is it that you felt the need to lash out at me in the Oklahoma Forums? I haven't said or done anything against you. I was not defending anyone and I was not trying to go against you. You're post really did not make any sense to me. I am sorry if you took offense to that.

[Sweet Heather]

Originally Posted by jfred

Sweetheart, I think there are standards of behavior for everybody.Although you previously pointed out standards of behaviour for PROVIDERS and that there was no place in the hobby for BBFS. Then(and I'm betting you might be
regreting this) you admitted to fucking prostituteS bareback, as well as the(apparently many, since you claimed you were promiscuous)"soccer moms" you fuck on a regular basis.

But you don't follow ideas well, darlin' (and everyone but you knows that -- I inform you of that in kindness)That's OK sweety, my PMs say otherwise. Well, except for silly hillbilly twats with ridiculous colored hair-and you. .



And I'm keenly aware that you went back and replied "point by [treacherous] point." Your replies indicated that you'd formed no grasp of what I was getting at.What didn't I get? That you claim BBFS has no place in the hobby but you admit to fucking prostituteS BBFS? I "got" that loud and clear sweety.As did lots of providers reading it...

You don't have to post on "my" threads, ya know? We're not really very good together. Why don't we just both steer clear?That's probably a good idea. In the future, though, you might refrain from being all high and mighty about what providers should and shouldn't do-even though you do the exact thing you critize them about. That might get a response from me. No, it WILL get a response from me. Otherwise, fine by me if you go your way and I'll go mine. Have a wonderful day.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

[Sweet Heather]

Originally Posted by Tiffany Cums

Ok, hun, why is it that you felt the need to lash out at me in the Oklahoma Forums? I haven't said or done anything against you. I was not defending anyone and I was not trying to go against you. You're post really did not make any sense to me. I am sorry if you took offense to that.

Oh, OK. Let me see....wasn't it YOU that crawled out of the woodwork to point out I wasn't making any sense? Your purpose for THAT "lashing out" was.....what?

Keep it up sweety. I'll finish whatever you feel like starting.

[Jules Jaguar]

oh gosh not this again! why even bring it back up??

DRAMA!

[Jon54]

Ladies, I will never ask for BB and if it is offered, I'm leaving. I'll take a BBBJ but I'm just as happy getting a CBJ, but I know I'm in the minority here. Anyone that wants BB from a provider is simply insane.

[Sweet Heather]

Originally Posted by Jon54

. Anyone that wants BB from a provider is simply insane.

You mean like jfred, who admits to BBFS with providers? Be nice hun.

[Laurentius]

Originally Posted by Jon54

Ladies, I will never ask for BB and if it is offered, I'm leaving. I'll take a BBBJ but I'm just as happy getting a CBJ, but I know I'm in the minority here. Anyone that wants BB from a provider is simply insane.

That's certainly my view as well.

My doctor knows I hobby, and he used terms such as "insane" and "death wish" to describe the practice.

My doctor is NOT a stupid man.

[jfred]

Originally Posted by Sweet Heather

You mean like jfred, who admits to BBFS with providers?...

Just tellin' my story, Heather, as if I were talking to friends. I suspect some found it interesting. But I'd hoped to keep it out of the gutter, where you seem to gravitate. And you needn't worry your pretty bleached head about any repercussions I might suffer for telling it -- believe it or not I'd actually considered that.

You did a little better this time following the discussion and making some sense (but then we'd about whittled it down to just the stuff you like to harp about, didn't we?). But sadly you fell into your usual name calling again and that huffin'-n-puffin' about "finishing things that others start." (I think the lady was just trying to help you.) If anyone lets you have the last word it's only because they despair of any meaningful interchange due to your (so obvious) limitations, or just don't want to get down on your level. (Feels grimy to me right now.)

And "your PMs" all say you're brilliant? Hmm, with whom do you correspond? My guess is they were telling you how dim-witted, high-strung and unattractive you appear, and you just didn't get it.

[jfred]

Originally Posted by 214JULES

oh gosh not this again! why even bring it back up??

DRAMA!

I'm afraid I'm responsible for bringing it up, Jules. If you'll look back to my initial post you'll see that my topic was along the lines of, "How should mature individuals who practice P4P react when someone mentions unprotected sex in a post?" A little ironic, I know! But I think we've seen examples of the good, bad and the ugly.

Originally Posted by Jon54

Ladies, I will never ask for BB and if it is offered, I'm leaving. I'll take a BBBJ but I'm just as happy getting a CBJ, but I know I'm in the minority here. Anyone that wants BB from a provider is simply insane.

I think your stated policy is a good one, Jon. It is what I'd recommend to anyone.

But...if you change "...wants BB..." to "...has participated in BB..." (let's not excoriate guys who only "want' things) I'd have to disagree with you about the "is simply insane" business. I've done it and am sane by any evaluation. Change it to "...seems to me to be insane..." and I've got no beef wit' ya.

Originally Posted by Laurentius

...My doctor knows I hobby, and he used terms such as "insane" and "death wish" to describe the practice.

My doctor is NOT a stupid man.

And Richard Nixon is "NOT a criminal!" (Sorry, I watched "Frost/Nixon" the other night and Tricky Dick is fresh on my mind.)

But of course your doc isn't stupid, did someone imply that he is?

I'll say this though, for a physician advising a patient on serious matters of health I think his approach lacks something. Do you think that he actually believes that people in the sex trade are all truly insane, or that they're universally plagued with "a desire for self-destruction, often accompanied by feelings of depression, hopelessness, and self-reproach"? (I looked that up for ya.) Do you think he's researched that or is qualified to dispense diagnoses for millions of folks he's never met? I don't.

I wonder why he resorts to the same vocabulary as hysterical hookers. But, I don't know...he's your doctor. And...if you've already decided that you'll never BB it doesn't really matter if his advice contains judgmental and unscientific fluff that really doesn't tell you anything if you're evaluating degrees of risk to guide your behavior. (And that's what we're talking about, I think.)

Kudos for letting your doctor know of your dangerous sex practices that dramatically elevate your risk of STD's, at least statistically. Lots of guys don't do that and they should. Tell your doctor everything.

[jfred]

Originally Posted by Sweet Heather

...silly hillbilly twats with ridiculous colored hair...

I'm sorry, I just can't let that pass.

You packed a lot of insults in there, Heather. And that didn't include your "crawled out of the woodwork" insult in your earlier vacuous rant. I'd prefer to keep that kind of sleeze out of any discussion I initiate, if you don't mind. The lady gave her opinion on a point I was making, explained and apologized when you seemed offended -- and you trashed her twice after that. Very bitchy, baby, very high-maintenance.

But since you brought up ridiculous uses of color (and I find her hair charming) who took that blunt Magic Marker to everything around you in your avatar? He lopped off part of the lower lobe of your right boob! I hope you didn't pay anyone to prepare that photo to grace this website.

I can't help but notice that Mr. Needs-a-Fine-Point-Sharpie appears to have colored inside the lines in the areas adjacent to your waist, as well. And perhaps your thighs. Nice slimming effect though. Very Barbie-ish.

[jhende3]

This shit is getting funny as hell. My doctor knows I'm in the hobby and all the advice he could give to you was about BB beening a "Death Wish" ? Nothing about you seeming providers? Thats Ok I guess. But BB was "insane" Thats it.

Someone once said "That they have to be the worst doctor in the world and someone has a appointment to see them tommorrow."

[Laurentius]

Let me draw a distinction for jfred and jhende.

As I stated in an earlier post, I believe that BBFS falls well within the realm of what consenting adults may choose to do behind closed doors.

That answers your fundamental question. That is, that I believe that so long as there is mutual consent, if you guys want to engage in BBFS with other willing participants -- have a good time.

I furthermore believe that it should not be condemned; thus to allow providers who do it to make its availability public for those of us who -- also exercising our free choice -- may decide to see her or not based upon the options she offers.

However, there ARE gradations of risk based upon the activities in which one engages, and with whom.

The fact that I support your capacity to do something should not be mistaken as my endorsement of its wisdom.

As for my doctor, for a doctor he is pretty sharp.

The occasion of my visit was my contracting a case of strep from a provider. (Yes, even kissing carries risks.) He advised me that, on average, a provider has kissed over 600 men before me, and that dealing with providers *at all* was risky. He went into lurid detail about the microbiological implications of kissing a woman who had allowed 10 different uncovered penises into her mouth over the past week.

As a scientist with more than a passing familiarity with microbiology, I could have told him that. But as my doctor he felt the need to advise me.

Given that I was sitting there sick from such an engagement, I do not doubt what he had to say there. And he furthermore advised that if I were to continue such engagements, doing so without use of protection (I had used protection, obviously) was insane and suicidal.

Now, I will grant you, that under certain circumstances the risks of BBFS can be reduced. For example, when dealing with a provider of impeccable character who tests weekly and has BBFS with you ONLY.

Personally, I am from the Ronald Reagan school of diplomacy. Trust, but wear a condom anyway. Universal precautions.

But, like I said, you can feel free to have right at it.