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MasterBaiter1996 · 12-23-2012, 08:36 PM

I knew Shep drove a Neon.lol

Jaci · 12-24-2012, 01:29 AM

Sayyyyyyy Whattttttttt!!!!!!! I promise I will only wear a big red bow.......
Come & Kiss Me, Jaci

Diver · 12-24-2012, 07:36 AM

Post of the year, thanks for the laughs.

GypsyHeart · 12-24-2012, 10:13 AM

Classic! And truth be known, I know for a lot of you gentlemen, your SOs are like this. And they sit and bitch to their girlfriends "I don't understand why he doesn't take his time anymore...blah blah blah."

Boltfan · 12-24-2012, 04:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neotek

Dude, stop your bitch ass whining. The providers are well ahead of the game when it comes to knowing whats up with you lame ass cuddle feckers.

Stop cheating on your feckin' wife and work on improving your marriage. If that doesn't work, divorce her. And don't give me any of your "BlahBlahBlah" about kids and losing half your shit. You picked her. Man up and deal with the fallout.

Oh, and I need your SO's contact info. I'm sure two hours of PSE with me and my girlfriend will fix her up. And I won't even charge you. Merry feckin' Xmas!

I'm out!

Classic Mr. tek

These feckers just don't know their SHMB history

cheatercheater · 12-27-2012, 07:29 AM

I'm shocked! How has this fecker pulled off pretending to be married to my SO and telling my story??

Guest011613-3 · 12-27-2012, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cheatercheater

I'm shocked! How has this fecker pulled off pretending to be married to my SO and telling my story??

He certainly aint married to my SO. For sure. His bitch only gained 20 pounds....

mine gained so much that she thinking about cutting back on the mashed tators and corn to now more than a couple of bushels per meal.

Stopped BBBJ ten years ago cause she says it aint fun without the swallow, and she aint swallowing no more as part of her diet to cut out extra calories and protein.

But she keeps trying to sit her 290 lbs on my face, I wont let her because she says that this will be cheaper for her than a divorce....

Guest011613-3 · 12-27-2012, 06:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neotek

Dude, stop your bitch ass whining. The providers are well ahead of the game when it comes to knowing whats up with you lame ass cuddle feckers.

Stop cheating on your feckin' wife and work on improving your marriage. If that doesn't work, divorce her. And don't give me any of your "BlahBlahBlah" about kids and losing half your shit. You picked her. Man up and deal with the fallout.

Oh, and I need your SO's contact info. I'm sure two hours of PSE with me and my girlfriend will fix her up. And I won't even charge you. Merry feckin' Xmas!

I'm out!

Okay, i sent you the contact info. Suggest you rent a uhaul truck.

You two have a good time, especailly when it comes time for a little face action......

And dont worry about how to get her back to the house.....just keep her if one of you can find your way out and survives. PLEASE

Guest011613-3 · 12-27-2012, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GypsyHeart

Classic! And truth be known, I know for a lot of you gentlemen, your SOs are like this. And they sit and bitch to their girlfriends "I don't understand why he doesn't take his time anymore...blah blah blah."

Mine I had a girlfriend who came over and I had to listen to it.....

Her friend bitched that her SO was going to bring flowers and she hates it when he does that.

"He always wants me to lay back and spread my legs, so he can go for the hole. Yeeeecccckkkk"

My SO said yeeecccckkkkk in tune with her and then told her, "Do what I did. Buy a vase"

Prolongus · 12-30-2012, 08:08 AM

A few months ago, the SO and I hopped in my car to go eat. She looked in the back seat and asked, "What's that gym bag doing here?" The gym bag with the secret SYBIAN. I accidentally left it there after an appointment. Talk about thinking fast, I said "Well, it's a surprise. I'll tell you about it after dinner." Which gave me some time to think of something...

We get home, I said "Let's go to the bedroom". and carried in the gym bag. I explained to her that I was talking to some guys about spicing up their sex lives with their wives and one of them said: "Hey, ya wanna borrow my Sybian? My wife LOVES it!" I said "Sure! I'll try it with her!". My wife asks, "What's a Sybian?" (See, this is already starting to be like an appointment!)

"It's a sex machine, honey. You'll love it!" Now, this is radical as shit to Rebecca Of Sunnybrook Farm. I set it up, convince her it's safe: "Well, I don't know about this..." she says. I put the flat top on it and show her how it works...

She's starting to get...a little curious! She strips down to her panties and carefully straddles it... she has this cute smile on her face...I slowly rev it up and the smile is getting bigger, the eyes are rolling backwards, she starts bucking a little, bouncing some...slight gasping...I take out one of the inserts and ask her if she wants to try it; she grabs it from my hand and yells "PUT THIS FUCKING THING ON" Holy shit! After an hour and several orgasms later of alternating between me and the Sybian she is VERY happy...can't wipe the smile off her face!

I wish...that last paragraph was...a fantasy.
What really happened was after I set it up and showed her how it worked, she was like: "Really? You have some sick friends. No way I'm getting on that thing."
So ladies...what did I do wrong? We wined and dined...kept teasing her about the "surprise" in the back seat...

Say What, your review speaks for a lot of us...which is why we are here.

Shep3.0 · 12-30-2012, 08:58 AM

Ummm....someone tell Say What, I was JUST kidding. Please, remove his vehicle off my Neon!!!!!! HELP HELP

DonJuan · 12-30-2012, 09:34 AM

SW,
Excellent post. Clearly we are in the hobby for the same reasons.
Often I wonder how so many of today's women end up depressed and sexually apathetic. I think it may be that they really believe they can have it all: family, career, maid cleaning the house, babysitters helping out, lots of shopping, fun girl time.
When it becomes clear that it is impossible to have all these things, women frequently choose kids and shopping. Anything else, including the husband, get neglected.
Despite the common belief, candlelit dinners will not reverse this scenario for most married couples.
Off to take my Prozac

DJ

MasterBaiter1996 · 12-30-2012, 09:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shep3.0

Ummm....someone tell Say What, I was JUST kidding. Please, remove his vehicle off my Neon!!!!!! HELP HELP

Damn Shep, I will try and give more of a heads up next time.

john_deere · 12-30-2012, 09:51 AM

awesomeness.

Say What · 12-30-2012, 10:38 AM

That truck isn't mine!

In fact, I'm almost certain it belongs to Peter the Pilates Instructor! Looks like he isn't a fan of the yard guy fucking my SO. For the record, I'm cool with it, but to each his own.

Could all of you that are getting a piece of the Say What Pie please start paying some of her bills? It's only fair...you get the pussy, you pay the bills!

And, someone keep her busy on New Year's Eve ! I want to see a couple of very special 'ladies' and the SO is throwing salt in my game! Shit, I'll even pay for the room and drinks! SHEP...you in?