ever feel like this...

[Guest091813]

Skuld

Viking sagas are easily some of the most badass pieces of writing ever recorded. Produced by a bloodthirsty assortment of ridiculously violent warrior-poets who spent just as much time slinging spears as spinning tales, these merciless legends feature heroic quests, magical spells, endless battle, withering trash-talking, and fearsome monsters, with a lusty maiden busting out of her blouse every five pages thrown in just for good measure. By the time the story is through, you can be pretty damn sure that nearly every single character is heroically lying face down on top of a pile of corpses with a gaping slash wound prominently displayed on some vital portion of their bodies, and their blade lodged in the head of their most hated nemesis. These sagas are the blockbuster action movies and ultra-flaming guitar solos of medieval literature – and while the endless parade of proper nouns can make it a little difficult to read at times, it's really hard to argue with the badass cred of any short story in which a humorless ass-whomper avenges his murdered brother by using a battle axe the size of a Lexus to slaughter an entire city full of warriors.

The Saga of Hrolf Kraki is no exception to this time-honored tradition of literary blood-bathing. The epic story of a couple generations of semi-legendary Danish Kings who asserted their dominance by plowing peoples' skulls to bone dust with a bulldozer, Hrolf's saga is about as subtle and delicate as a game of beer pong played with live grenades. But while Hrolf himself is a hugely-powerful ass-wrecker, no one can assert a better claim to badassitude than his vengeful sister, the pitiless necromancer sorceress known as Skuld.

read on:
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/skuld.html

[MC]

^^

Wow, Anita, that DOES sound pretty badass.

I know you're a fan of Lovecraft, have you ever read anything by his pen pal Robert E. Howard (of Conan fame)?

[Guest091813]

MC...we def need to get together and discuss our love for reading!!!

[MC]

Originally Posted by anita germane

MC...we def need to get together and discuss our love for reading!!!

Yes we do.

[offshoredrilling]

not sure if I want to tell you two to get a room or go to the library.

but it is entertaining reading

[Guest091813]

Finn McCool

A few years back I wrote about the mythical Irish warrior Cuchulainn and his adventures hurling sea monster bones at unsuspecting dumbshits, but honestly, any discussion regarding the great badasses of Ireland's folklore has to mention the man believed by many to be the biggest, toughest, and most epic hero to ever grace the Emerald Isle with his size 47 shoes and unbelievably-foul temper – Finn McCool.

It all started back in the 3rd century AD. Finn's pops, a dude named Cumhaill, was a pretty badass warrior who served in an asskicking association of knights and soldiers known as the Fianna. Well one day Cumhaill decided he wanted to marry the daughter of a powerful, high-ranking Druid, so the Druid responded to this request by giving Cumhaill the finger and whacking him in the crunch really hard with a shillelagh. Cumhaill, being the fearless, face-wrecking hardass that he was, wasn't going to be dissuaded by something as pathetic as a bone-shattering cudgel blow to the family jewels, so he busted into the Druid's house in the middle of the night, grabbed the girl, and carried her off into the darkness. In my research I wasn't able to determine whether or not the blushing bride was a willing participant in this home invasion / eloping, but I suppose that when you're dealing with medieval marriages this is really only a minor detail.

read on
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/mccool.html

[Guest091813]

Jean-Pierre Hallet

Jean-Pierre Hallet is what you would get if you crossed the Most Interesting Man in the World with Tarzan of the Apes (the badass, break-a-monkey-in-half-with-his-fists Edgar Rice Burroughs version, and not the happy-go-lucky, tree-surfing Disney version with the perfect teeth), then put him into real life and made him an unbelievably-amazing humanitarian who was so unassailably chill that it was impossible not to like him.

Hallet was born in Belgium in 1927. His father was apparently-famous impressionist painter Andre Hallet, a man whose paintings of the untamed African wilderness now hang in art galleries in nearly every country in the world, and, when you consider that this kid was fourteen damn pounds when he was born, we can only assume his mother was a pretty hardcore character as well. Jean-Pierre grew up in the Congo, (which, if the 1990s Tim Curry movie is to be believed, is populated almost entirely by giant, hyper-intelligent Laser Gorillas and fiery volcanoes that spew magma like all the time, making it pretty awesome), and while his dad was out contributing to the commendable-yet-not-exactly-skull-crushing field of impressionist oil painting, this kid was in the middle of the fucking wilderness living among Rwandan Bantu tribesmen, learning native languages, and immersing himself in African culture.

By the time Jean-Pierre was six, he already spoke fluent Bantu, dressed like the locals, and refused to speak French even to his own parents. So, naturally, he was shipped back to Belgium to receive a "proper European education". This was great and all, but after about seven years of Belgian boarding school it became significantly less great, mostly because that's about the time the German blitzkrieg rolled into Belgium on a crimson sea of blood, dive-bombers, and obliterated machinery, kicked the shit out of everyone, and firmly planted a Nazi jackboot on the faces of the entire population of the country in a most uncomfortable manner.
read on:
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/hallet.html

[MC]

I'm totally posting this story on another site I frequent. Nice find, Anita.

[Guest091813]

Originally Posted by MC

I'm totally posting this story on another site I frequent. Nice find, Anita.

cooolioooooooo!!!! and thankyou sir..

[MC]

Originally Posted by anita germane

cooolioooooooo!!!! and thankyou sir..

Welcome!

[offshoredrilling]

that last pic of him

[Perryay]

Damn that's one hell of a career! I kind of hope thats the way the Sabres treat the Lightning tonight LOL! luvya Nita.....

[Guest091813]

Originally Posted by Perryay

Damn that's one hell of a career! I kind of hope thats the way the Sabres treat the Lightning tonight LOL! luvya Nita.....

rightback atcha baby!!!!However... I'm thinking the Lightning are gonna slap some asses tonight..I been wearing my Lightning jersey all day and will sleep in it tonight.

(dear Lord..please send special blessings to petiteassman..for blessing me with my jersey..aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh hhmen!!!)

[offshoredrilling]

bet ya a cup of coffee there young lady

we forgot to make a bet at the M&G. Or do I owe ya.

[Guest091813]

lol...we didnt bet so your off da hook..im not sure..you knw what happens when you bet with a lady right..that last pic of Jean-Pierre Hallet reminds me of someone I know..maybe
its the beard and the great smile and his sweetness...