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CajunGent · 02-10-2010, 10:33 AM

Eliza, how about just being honest with him, and explaining your situation. Most importantly express to him your concerns. If he is a gentleman, he will understand. The trick will be how you explain yourself without disclosing "to much" information. But, that can be done. Lawyers and CPA's do it everyday as a matter of routine. Being anything less than a lady should be your last resort.

Ansley · 02-10-2010, 10:43 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Hercules

Listen to this lady.

"I must stop seeing you due to personal reasons. But I will happily refer you to any lady you are interested in. Please respect my decision as it was very hard to make."

Then go "poof" and never contact him again.

I like this reason the best. Sometimes less is more.

Guest083011 · 02-10-2010, 10:52 AM

Word, Ans.

GP · 02-10-2010, 11:08 AM

Excellent topic! Honesty is always the best policy

Tim the Enchanter · 02-10-2010, 02:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ansley

I like this reason the best. Sometimes less is more.

My only concern with the "less is more" solution is that it doesn't prep either party for the potential for a future chance social encounter. By saying instead "there is a remote chance of our civilian lives intersecting" and refusing to say more, she can at least gauge how he might react in that situation and how far she needs to go to avoid it.

pjorourke · 02-10-2010, 03:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tim the Enchanter

My only concern with the "less is more" solution is that it doesn't prep either party for the potential for a future chance social encounter. By saying instead "there is a remote chance of our civilian lives intersecting" and refusing to say more, she can at least gauge how he might react in that situation and how far she needs to go to avoid it.

As odd as it is for me to actually agree with Tim, I have to here. Part of the issue is that even if you break it off, it appears that your social circles will collide someday soon. He needs to be prepared for that so that he can handle it smoothly when it happens.

Eliza, I gather that this guy has some degree of financial success -- and with that has probably come some degree of sense. Yes, guys can go psycho, but if he was that type, he would have shown tendencies along that line for a while (you said I think that you see him at least monthly.) The odds are that he has as much to lose from a crossing of that line as you do. If you approach it like Ansley/Tim suggested, you have the best odds of both getting through that inevitable meet & greet without incident.

Tim the Enchanter · 02-10-2010, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pjorourke

As odd as it is for me to actually agree with Tim, I have to here.

Don't worry, that should pass quickly. I recommend bed rest and plenty of fluids.

guest012511 · 02-10-2010, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pjorourke

As odd as it is for me to actually agree with Tim, I have to here. Part of the issue is that even if you break it off, it appears that your social circles will collide someday soon. He needs to be prepared for that so that he can handle it smoothly when it happens.

Eliza, I gather that this guy has some degree of financial success -- and with that has probably come some degree of sense. Yes, guys can go psycho, but if he was that type, he would have shown tendencies along that line for a while (you said I think that you see him at least monthly.) The odds are that he has as much to lose from a crossing of that line as you do. If you approach it like Ansley/Tim suggested, you have the best odds of both getting through that inevitable meet & greet without incident.

I also agree with Tim...and PJ's clear expounding of the matter.
Sounds like your best choice for an amicable split.

pjorourke · 02-10-2010, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tim the Enchanter

Don't worry, that should pass quickly. I recommend bed rest and plenty of fluids.

I trust that this valuable medical advice will be covered by your beloved national healthcare sham.

Eliza · 02-10-2010, 10:46 PM

Thank you to everyone for your replies and advice.

I desperately need sleep so I will be back tomorrow.

JackNapier · 02-10-2010, 11:18 PM

Judging from the complexity of some of the responses here, I think some of the posters have been working on the national healthcare bill.

I have a question for Eliza - you've seen this guy for 5 months. Don't you have a read on him - his personality, how he might act, etc? I would think that this would dictate your response more than anything.

I can say for certain that if I were the client, the absolutely best thing you could do would be to simply tell me the truth and discuss it. That would be the safest thing for you in the long run. You don't want to give me some half-baked excuse and then surprise me at some social outing where I am with my friends.

Don't make this more complicated than it needs to be.

discreetgent · 02-10-2010, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pjorourke

I trust that this valuable medical advice will be covered by your beloved national healthcare sham.

Only if you're willing to accept government funding

(apologies for going on a tangent here)

winemaker · 02-11-2010, 08:56 AM

Honesty is the best policy, IMHO.

Marcus Aurelius · 02-11-2010, 09:10 AM

I can only tell you how I would want to be told. Honestly. I would be cool about it and no problem. But I'm not him.

Eliza · 02-11-2010, 02:01 PM

After weighing the different options, I have decided to do the following.

I will be honest with him, but I will also grant myself the discretion I desire. Without going into details, I will graciously tell him that it has recently come to my knowledge that we are more closely connected in our personal lives than I previously anticipated, and thus I most end our hobby relationship as I am uncomfortable with those worlds intertwining.

How does that sound? Sane? I had a wonderfully long massage today so I'm in quite the tranquil mood.