I'm back, explanations, apologies, and a rant.

[royamcr]

Yup, ladies should be able to buy access just like the guys. :-) But Access to the mens area would not come with that purchase. Access to the mens areas should be earned by participation/reviews/verification that they are swinging 2 balls and a stick.

Some girls really need to read their reviews so they can see how bad they are at their job.

[love2fishfork]

Originally Posted by royamcr

Some girls really need to read their reviews so they can see how bad they are at their job.

Or how much some guys exaggerate about their performance!

[SinsOfTheFlesh]

Johnny and Modda, I don't know how much clearer I can be. I began my post with an apology, and I ended my post by reiterating that same apology, and by acknowledging the consequences that derive from my poor decision. I also stated several times that NONE of what I wrote in any way justifies my actions, nor excuses it, nor is anyone but myself to blame. I also stated that I am solely responsible for the drama that will likely result from my post. What can I possibly say to be more clear?

I admit, the extraordinarily long post does make it difficult to separate the various points I touched on. I considered creating three separate posts, one each to address the specific issues I felt should be addressed.

One post purely to provide full disclosure of exactly what I did, how I did it, why I did it, and to take responsibility and apologize for my behavior.

A second post to address the hate emails and White knight issue. In light of the fact that I have for so long felt left out and overlooked, the notion of having white knights now, and being looked down upon for "running" to them honestly hurt worse than anything else. I felt I had to clear the air and dispute this notion. I leave it to you to decide whether I am right or wrong for allowing anonymous cowards to so thoroughly get under my skin, but this was an important issue for me to address so that I can move on.

A third post would have addressed the specific issue of hijacking my reviews and turning them into ads for other women. This actually is the issue at the heart of all this, and judging by the responses, it seems unfortunately to be getting lost in the general shuffle as this thread develops. I may create a post later to ask for community input on what is appropriate and inappropriate to comment on reviews.

But, rather than write out three separate posts, I chose to smash everything into one big ass, long ass post. This entire disagreeable business is like having to swallow some very unpleasant medicine. There is nothing in all of this that is fun or enjoyable. So rather than space it out over three posts, I lumped it all together into a one long post in hopes of putting in the past as quickly as possible.

Unfortunately, in doing so, I can see why some would interpret my post to be an insincere apology, or a list of justifications. I tried to be clear that none of what I discussed was in any way an excuse or justification, but I don't think that message got through very clearly. Once again, please believe me when I say it is not. Absolutely no one is responsible for my behavior but myself. I am well aware that my behavior will have long lasting consequences - loss of respect, loss of trust, loss of business, and my reviews in the future will be regarded with a greater degree of suspicion. I take full responsibility for those consequences. I brought them on myself, and none of what I have said is in any way intended to diminish those consequences.

Finally Modda, if you will re-read my original post, I detailed very precisely what I knew, when I knew it, and how I knew it. I did not include the name of the person who emailed me. ALl he asked was if I was the girl who got banned for using a multi-handle. In retrospect, his question is what alerted me that Fritz had told someone, so technically whether the person intended it or not, he is the one who tipped me off. If you feel his email warrants disciplinary action, please PM me. I will give you his name, I have also said that from the beginning as well. His action may have been thoughtless, but I don't believe it was his intention to be a white knight and give me the inside scoop. But how you choose to handle the discipline is not my concern. If you want the name, please ask.

[i'va biggen]

I'm just waiting on the movie I got ADD and couldn't get through it...

[guest010313]

Originally Posted by Johnny4455

In my opinion, it's not an apology unless it is limited to what you did wrong, an acknowledgement it was wrong, an apology to those you offended and a promise to try not to repeat. One paragraph. It can be compelling if done like that. Sins you didn't truly apologize because you added justifications, excuses and attacks. Your good friends are going to support you but how about those on the board that don't know you. What do you think they take from your long non apology, apology?

If they have any common sense perhaps they choose to rethink their jackal-like behavior. Your attitude in this thread, along with bigryan, leads me to believe that you two are an active part of the problem and you should be ashamed.

OMG a woman called us out for being assholes! Bitch.

[Guest021115]

Originally Posted by Lovely_Lilianna

OMG a woman called us out for being assholes! Bitch.

I missed ya, girlie!

[Guest030817]

Originally Posted by JS42

Stupid rule? Sure, let's go with that, and give all us guys access to the Powder Room too.

I could care less if guys see the powder room. I would just as well post everything out in public. Anything that I would say behind someone's back I would say to their face. As to not cause constant bickering or wasted bad energy, there is most that I don't say AT ALL. However, I recently posted about three different men and scenarios in infoshare because I had quite simply had enough!

The ONLY reason that I posted infoshare is because if I hadn't someone would
have come on and said, "this should be in infoshare" and it would have been transferred. I would have much preferred all of the men see it because some of it is possibly a newbies's lack of knowledge and it could have possibly improved everyone's experience. There can be a lot learned in general from posts, even if they do not specifically address you. I learn from things that guys are complaining about that are not directed to me in general convos on the board all of the time.

Hey, it's not my board so it's not my rules. I am just one who believes in common sense and in rules that make sense for people to follow. In general, I believe in having as FEW rules as possible...so they sure as hell better make sense! Rules that are so obviously going to be broken and make sense to be broken as they really don't "hurt" anyone are like.....well, that's a completely related but different discussion.

Now I'm too deep into this to remember who said viewing privileges should be earned by participation. Posts, advertisements, starting threads, reviews etc.

Now that just might bring this board back to life.

BTW: I forgot to mention before, that while what Stacy did was not right, I think that she does deserve to be commended for even posting about it. I'm sure you felt like "everyone knew" Stacy, and that you owed and explanation, but honestly, there are so many people on here that don't even post, keep up regularly etc...that a huge population would have never even known if you didn't say something.

I could easily compete for longest poster in the world.

Ari

[guest010313]

Originally Posted by Staci Stacked

I missed ya, girlie!

Thank you no local board on here for me.....yet.

[Guest102513-1]

Originally Posted by Ari816

Hey Stacy,

I was out of the loop on all of this and this is related to your situation but not in direct relation to it. I will start by saying that I do not have access to the men's lounge but have known providers in the past or heard them say later that they have had it.

I have told clients this face to face as well as mods and I will say it here. I know it is not a popular view....

Many of the men on here are business owners. If they could pay $XX (I don't even know what it is, but know that it is reasonable) per month to hear what was being said about their business...even though it was against the rules of a hobby board...most would do so in a heart beat.

You can argue ethics with me if you like....I've taken several courses and this is my conclusion. I MUCH prefer TER's lay out and I think that it is what it is...if there are areas that a companion needs to improve on, then she should be allowed to know that. Why criticize someone without giving them the opportunity to improve? Isn't it actually a kinder act to allow them to step it up?

Although my TER rankings are stellar, there has been time that I have been given a lower number and it has made me reflect on the appt. How I looked that day? How much time I put into preparation? How was my attitude and behavior? It has made me want to STEP IT UP, because my reputation means a lot to me. This hobby doesn't come with a training guide after all.

Anyway, yes it's against the rules...do I think that Stacy did anything that at least 50%, very least, of business owners would do (in a business that relies so heavily on hearsay)...HELL NO!!!!

I am not encouraging anyone to break the rules, I just think it's a stupid rule...and as I said, I do not have access nor personally know anyone, at this time, who does. I am simply pointing out the obvious.

You want us to act like professionals...so don't be shocked when we do.

Have a great week everyone!

Ari

You make some interesting points....however

1) This ain't Ter. And I also realize Eccie is but a very small piece of the KC market

2) But when St Chris decide to start this site...I'm guessing he had no "saintly" intentions on starting some wonderful informational flowing site.

I guess his intentions were somewhere along the lines of rather than "fuck for bucks", it was "Internet for bucks"...I'm sure there is a catchier way to put it.

3) There are rules we all agree to when signning up. There are places like the Spiderhole, M/L and women powder room....which there are rules to gain access to. Whether we like those rules or not...somehow I don't think he (St Chris) is going to make major changes

4) Now, if I were a provider, would I attempt to gain access to things like M/L & ROS....probably. But if you get caught...you get caught, just deal with it

5) Why did Fritz do some of the things he may have done....I'll admit to being clueless.

but I will say, the quality of Eccie ladies I have been fortunate enough to meet...somehow I don't think they would let any whiney ass mod effect their business, if they were to meet such a person....unless, it was to the ladies' advantage

[Guest030817]

VK,

Great points as well. Whew....2 cups of tea and all of this Monday morning debate is making me quite playful! The brain is by far my most stimulating obsession.

[JS42]

Originally Posted by Ari816

Hey, it's not my board so it's not my rules. I am just one who believes in common sense and in rules that make sense for people to follow. In general, I believe in having as FEW rules as possible...so they sure as hell better make sense!
.


Ari

So let's see, we have a Mens Lounge, which men can gain access to by buying in, or writing approved reviews. Then we have the Power Room where approved Lady Providers can gain access to. I may be a simpleton, but that makes perfect common sense to me that people can follow.

[Modda]

Originally Posted by JS42

So let's see, we have a Mens Lounge, which men can gain access to by buying in, or writing approved reviews. Then we have the Power Room where approved Lady Providers can gain access to. I may be a simpleton, but that makes perfect common sense to me that people can follow.

That is a very simple rule and valid point.

[royamcr]

Originally Posted by JS42

So let's see, we have a Mens Lounge, which men can gain access to by buying in, or writing approved reviews. Then we have the Power Room where approved Lady Providers can gain access to. I may be a simpleton, but that makes perfect common sense to me that people can follow.

Forgot one thing, WOMEN can gain access with a credit card. Not supposed to but if there is a way they will.

[Guest021115]

Originally Posted by royamcr

Forgot one thing, WOMEN can gain access with a credit card. Not supposed to but if there is a way they will.

Not true. I have a credit card and I've never done it.

[JS42]

Originally Posted by royamcr

Forgot one thing, WOMEN can gain access with a credit card. Not supposed to but if there is a way they will.

Yep, unfortunately you are right, the door is ajar and some will take advantage of it. I have nothing against Stacy, never met her, but this is why I was opposed to such a light ban for what she did. The ax should of fell much harder so the example could of been set and give any of the other female providers pause to think if it's worth it. Not talking about a lifetime ban, but more like 6 months for first time.