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Guest082216-1 · 11-20-2010, 07:27 PM

Fawn, I appoligize. When I posted that I had missed your post that this was actualy about you. I misunderstood and thought you were asking a general question, not about you specificly. My reply was a very generalized observation based on research and study over the years and not intended to be taken as telling any specific person how to "solve" any "problems".

I would be happy to argue the points I made in very general terms but in no way intended them to directed at you or any other person specificly.

Again, I do humbly appolgize.

I will add that I do think the ability to leave this occupation IS entirly within your hands and control. Good luck to you and I wish you only the best

(Note to self, quit using "you" as a plural pronoun of the second person in the dative or accusative case. Too easy to confuse)

fawn · 11-20-2010, 08:22 PM

Bubba, It is OK....the way you said it is not the way I perceived it...So I am sorry if I misunderstood what you were saying...

Guest082216-1 · 11-20-2010, 08:28 PM

What one hears (or reads in this case) in reality, not what the speaker intended. It is the responsibility of the speaker to ensure their words are taken to mean what they are intended instead of relying upon the receipent to correctly interperet their words. It can be very difficult to do that sometimes in this media. The fault is mine.

MaxiMilyen · 11-20-2010, 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bubba3452

Can a woman get out? Yes. Is it easy? No.

I think a to key getting out and also breaking the provider "mentality" is to understand the core reason(s) one is in the profession. And no, its NOT just money though that is or can be a very important part. Once you understand the true motivators for doing this, if you can address those issues, resolve them or find another way to deal with them, then you will be mentialy equipped to walk away.

As long as those underlying issues remain unresolved, it will be almost impossible to truly leave this profession. A woman might stop "providing" but will still have issues relating to men and will still find the urge to engage in this kind of activity almost impossible to resist. Your man's love may be unconditional and that will help but will not solve everything.

Bubba, you always try really hard to be helpful and insightful, and we greatly appreciate it.....really we do. However.....(u shoudl know there was gonna to be a however, cause it's me responding....LOL) Women step outta this business E V E R Y day and never look back. I could give ya a list as long as my arm, of women that have done so, just since I've been in the biz. Those that do come back, do so normally because of unexpected life circumstances and less so, due to poor planning or "issues".

Most of the ladies get into the biz because financial issues rather than anything else. Naturally, those that have "an affinity" for this lifestyle, will stay a bit longer than those who are simply trying to make ends meet or reach a financial goal. Believe it or not, most women don't think about ending up in this profession as they are going through their early years, unless they have been exploited in some manner or other when they were very young and have no other recourse. Those are not the kind of "ladies" you normally find here on ECCIE, but more so, the type of ladies the gents refer to as SW's.

In general, open minded women have the mentality of most men when it comes to sex and IMO, those are more so the type of ladies you will find here. It doesn't mean that we have issues or problems, but rather that we enjoy our sexuality as much as the men do and do not really have issues with doing what we do for a living. Trust me, if the men could make a living at it like the women do, they would so be on board! There are many men out there who are very envious, jealous and even angry that this is not the case. I don't have any intention of apologizing for it, it is what it is, and I didn.t make the rules concerning the way it worked out, but do intend to take advantage of it. There are many men out there who also would if they could.

I hope this clears things up a bit for you and it was great of you to come back in and apologize to my friend. I started to post to your reply earlier, but didn't want to start a bru ha ha, but since she saw something in your statements as I did, I thought I'd try to help ya out with the way it really is for the women you gents associate with here. Misconceptions can be upsetting for all. Hope this has been helpful, hon. xoxo

Fawn.....Sorry for the hijack! Be happy girlfriend, life is too short to be otherwise, but I don't really need to tell you that. xoxo M

Guest082216-1 · 11-20-2010, 09:02 PM

Max, we are going to have to sit down for a long drink and argue this stuff face to face. Would be a lot of fun!

jfred · 11-20-2010, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bubba3452

...It is the responsibility of the speaker to ensure their words are taken to mean what they are intended...

I like you, Bubba. Have we met?

MAX, great post. Here's a question for ya: Like you I have known a number of women who chose sexual services as the way to make money that they needed or wanted. They are varied! And yet there is a whole (also varied!) slough of women who would never even CONSIDER becoming a provider. Do you have any thoughts about what, if any, common trait or traits tie together these Sisters of the Darkside, the ones who choose this road?

Not too bad a hijack, I hope. I could start a new thread.

MaxiMilyen · 11-20-2010, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bubba3452

Max, we are going to have to sit down for a long drink and argue this stuff face to face. Would be a lot of fun!

Happy to "debate", but rarely really argue with anyone. Tone is hard to tell in the written word, unless ya really know someone. And yes...it would be fun.....I'm known in "other circles" as The Fun One.....

Guest082216-1 · 11-20-2010, 11:13 PM

I did mean debate. One day, yes we shall. :-)

Saturn · 11-21-2010, 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by M A X

Happy to "debate", but rarely really argue with anyone. Tone is hard to tell in the written word, unless ya really know someone. And yes...it would be fun.....I'm known in "other circles" as The Fun One.....

Yes Max you are fun - and a cutie!

Fawn - I think you can leave - but there can always be complications.

Lust4xxxLife · 11-21-2010, 02:15 AM

Fawn - here's my $0.02. Unlike many of the posts here, it's based on experience, not just empty pontification.

If you're ready to leave, you can. But you need to understand what 'leave' means. It means leave, not just stop doing what you do for money. You can't keep going to socials. You can't go to the lunches. You can't keep the same number and keep texting with this community. You can't pop into chat. You need to go. Leave means LEAVE. You have to COMMIT to someone else over this hobby community and there is no half-commit. Same for your other half.

If either of you can't commit to leaving as I describe it, you'll be back. Only a matter of time and it won't be a long time, in my opinion.

I wish you the best...

L4L

fawn · 11-21-2010, 06:33 AM

I thought I made myself very clear this isnt about ME and leaving .....
The question was:
Can a man/hobbyiest love or marry a provider unconditionally knowing that she was a provider...Or will it always be lurking in the back of his mind and cause them problems down the line?..

"Let me make myself very clear....I can and will walk away from this when the time is right and "I" am ready....And trust me when I leave I wont ever look back or come back or have any regrets..."

Charlie_Harper · 11-21-2010, 06:41 AM

Fawn, it sounds like the two of you do indeed share something together here. Take the journey. Even if for some unfortunate reason it doesn't work out...you wont have to deal with waking up one day with what if's going through your head. Being a hobbyist or a provider in this lifestyle, doesn't define us. So go for it. Good luck on the ride.

fawn · 11-21-2010, 06:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lust4xxxLife

Fawn - here's my $0.02. Unlike many of the posts here, it's based on experience, not just empty pontification.

If you're ready to leave, you can. But you need to understand what 'leave' means. It means leave, not just stop doing what you do for money. You can't keep going to socials. You can't go to the lunches. You can't keep the same number and keep texting with this community. You can't pop into chat. You need to go. Leave means LEAVE. You have to COMMIT to someone else over this hobby community and there is no half-commit. Same for your other half.

See honey, unlike most of you here....I know what a commitment means...I was married for 21yrs faithful years....and never cheated or never ran when a problem arouse in my marriage...So ya I think I know that when I totally give myself to a man for a life time commitment it will only be to him....God some of you men seem to amaze me in the way you see us....You haven't a clue to whom some of us really are as a person.....

If either of you can't commit to leaving as I describe it, you'll be back. Only a matter of time and it won't be a long time, in my opinion.

Well like you said this is your opinion....How can you make that assumption when you don't even know us as person.....

I wish you the best...

L4L

This is exactly why I asked the men this very question about can a man/hobbyist truly and unconditionally love a provider....Or will they always see you in that light....haha I guess I got your answer on this situation Lust4xxxlife....
And I thank you for your thought because that is what I was looking for....

Linus · 11-21-2010, 07:26 AM

Fawn, no one ever "forgets" anything, but if you love each other he should accept it and get on with making a future, not looking at the past. You are a beautiful woman, he would be a dope to let you go!

Stang1965 · 11-21-2010, 08:11 AM

Fawn,

I think that your question has a very simple answer in my opinion. When some of us men fall in love with a woman. It does not matter what she did in her past or for that matter what she was doing when we met her. It's all about the new journey that we are starting together.

And then there are the men that do care what the woman did in HER past or who they were with (That goes for Providers and non Providers). The unfortunately thing is. That some of these men may think that they don't care and that it's all OK at first, but after some time it starts to come up... Those are the ones that you need to be careful with...

Now I know that you asked about forgetting and I answered about caring about the past. So here is my take on forgetting. I don't think that anyone forgets. It's what you do with those memories that count. I for one think that what ever anyone lived in their past is what made them who they are today and who they are going to be in the future. That means that if I fall in love with you in present-day. Then I should be OK with your past, because your past has given me who you are today and who you are going to be in the future!!!

So like I said; "It's an easy answer." Some can and some can't!!! I think that this hold true for both men and women...

In any case. I wish you the BEST!!! I know that when ever you decide to leave this Hobby that we all share. It's going to be a Great Loss and you will be Greatly Missed by many!!! And who ever manages to steal you from us is going to be a VERY VERY LUCKY MAN!!!