Quote:
Originally Posted by Hobart420
It should be fixed now.
We should hire siberia for quality control.
-Hobart: "head" of Human Resourses.
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Purses, Tee shirts, what the fuck happened to our goals, We started out selling .25 cents of douche in a container and custom printed box ( costing .50) for 24.95 and 39.95 (with a pinch of bat guava) and toss in a free CD for a bonus. What are you guys thinking with? That shit that costs money, $1.29 for the blank CD alone. (did Whispers sign off?)
After the douche products, a ball washer(garden sprayer) was suggested by a potential client who wants free products on the guise of doing quality control. We developed, from the sprayer, the highly profitable "Bonn11 series" an industrial duty multi-purpose device that cleanses and stimulates both internally and externally any orifice of the body(nose and ear adapters coming soon). It was developed staying within the general product spectrum allowing us to sell not only bulk sized containers of our douche products but expanding to enema, nasal, auditory solutions too. The BONN11 chilled milk enema kit uses multiple formulations of our products both existing and under development. Research shows us selling tens of thousands of packages of dehydrated cocoguano powder alone, making us millions. All these products presently have no direct competition. The ever growing line of attachments would make BONN11 series owners able to upgrade their products at a lower cost than full replacement giving us the opportunity to add on or cross sell products to our already loyal BSC customers.
With a continuing product offering our sales of related products could reach those of Adam and Eve who currently dominate that segment of the market. ($66M sales in 2001, in 2014 upwards of $200M)
But NO!!! Someone wants to sell bobble heads (I know I already have one) Purses, and tee shirts. Tee shirts really? We are going to sell friggen tee shirts? Our customers want what they can't get anywhere else. BSC hygiene and therapy treatments and related products. They can make a tee shirt on- line and don't even mention the BSC "Back Page" Chinese takeout) purse idea someone dreamt up. Everyone already knows that our customer base would not be seen in public without a Coach, Bendel, Burberry,Tom Ford, or Kate Spade or other well known designer bag.
We have a solid core business that has virtually no competition and we want to sell purses and tee shirts? Two of the most counter-fitted products there, I guess we should do watches and womens shoes too. No Hoogar in her right mind(maybe I should rephrase that) would buy our Bat Guana douche on ebay, from a guy working out of his trunk at a farmers market or even from the local wise "guy".
Excuse me while I say what needs to be said. We need to stick to our core market (feminine hygiene products, and soon therapy items including Pheromone enhanced supplements and lubes) and develop our profits around them. If someone needs a pet project, I have one in mind: Get "kusmaldo" a dammed dime piece and make him STFU!!!!
If ownership wants to open a little boutique shop and sell tee shirts and purses so one of the owner's unemployable relatives can have a job, that is fine. If you want to run a section of the company that shows an unacceptable return (ROA) that fine. All I say is why not just GIVE them away to returning customers of our signature products instead of doing what is so widely accepted around here (Beating a dead horse) by trying to sell something for more than what it is worth due to improper market positioning GPS). Just give them away as promotional items and if the person gets their picture posted on any regional or national Hoogar board promoting our products we will give then $37.50 and a baloney and Velveeta sammie. Have them sign a release, we will photo shop the crap out of it and get full sized cardboard cutouts made and put them on street corners to obstruct traffic. I know brilliant huh? Ok really...
Example: If someone buys a 3 pack of Fresh scent (Moore EFN tequila) douche than give them a EFN tee shirt. (one of mine please?) If they buy the 6 pack (set of 3 each) douches including the fresh scent and Bat Guano douche, we could give them a purse or 2 tee shirts of whoever's image gets their juices flowing. But honestly trying to sell these items is nothing but stroking your own egos. (I don't hear any of the BSC dudes admitting to doing that even often accused) I can see you selling tree shirts out of the trunk of cars at socials, Christmas parties and strip clubs it's still not good for business. We deal with BSC Hoogars and the market segment for tee shirts, purses, and bobble-heads seems dismal.
WE need to listen to our mission! "WE DON'T JUST WANT TO FUCK YOU, WE WANT TO HELP" HOW DOES A TEE SHIRT, (or bobble-head) OF SL OR "THE BIG CAWK" (welcome back "big cawk") help a hoogar other than to make customers run? I guess I could imagine it fucking her but thats another threAD and I miss the Photoshop skills.
Back to BSC product development:
I hope that R+D is making headway on the EFFEN cucumber douche which reduces signs of puffiness and dark circles due to over exertion or excessive exposure to trench mouth saliva. I hear we are currently testing it for reducing swelling and redness on Butthurt Hoogars and Mongers alike with very promising results. I feel it has real possibilities to be another BSC high margin sales leader. The marketing team was working with R+D and had a product testing on the TV show "A Girls Guide to Divorce" but they soaked the tampons in the wrong vodka causing a burning sensation. Keep up the good work we are getting product inquiries already and we have not even launched.
To the group of owners who may or may not want to put the companies priorities of selling tee shirt, bobble heads and Chinese take out styled handbags before our "core" business, so be it. If I wanted to be involved in a business that started with such great fanfare, financial success, and a devoted following just to be whored out by a group of egotists who ran a name brand into the dirt, I would have still been with my previous employer where I was a highly respected member of the team!
Just like EFN I will quote on of my co workers to show I was respected by my peers :
Bullwinkle: "I'm going to give him a piece of my mind!"
Rocky: " That's what I like about you- no matter how little you have, you're still willing to share!"
I maybe a member of the low IQ'er's (according to Mr. Peabody) (congrats on the movie, Dog) but I will have you know I graduated from Whatsamatter University, started acting as a carton character on the "Rocky and Friends" show and worked hard and was quickly promoted to the starring role thus creating "The Bullwinkle Show". I became a household name and still am to this day. I still have impressive sales of my TV series (not so much my movies) and images of my likeness are still marketed worldwide. I still have my "trademark" style that people know me by;
My extensive talents were respected yet well utilized.
Sure, we had promotional items. but they were not for our enjoyment but for the pleasure of our fans. We didn't sell them, other companies paid people to take them. Examples are these glass sets from Pepsi and Bama Jelly.
I know a little about sticking to my core business, Oh yeah cartoons, and when doing promotions We did not push promotional items, nor give Swag to our followers. (we did give out swill when necessary) We were so popular we licensed our name and others built products around them. My antlers were on everything from lunch boxes to bed linens, tree ornaments, wristwatches, and even dinner plates. I profited from it but never sold anything.
After retirement we had some rough times and living on runs we decided to try to make a come back, we cleaned ourselves up, got clean and Rocky even tried to flt again. Little did we know we set up for failure.
A group of marketing wannabe's decided to take the company another direction: Live action movies. They had some actor (Robert De'Niro) on the hook for the project and they messed everyone of the next 4 projects up going thoug hundreds of millions of dollars. Here are the financial's for the series of projects.
Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle 2000 $76 million budget the film grossed $35 million worldwide. net was too embarrassing to publish
Mr Peabody and Sherman 2014 lost $59M (yeah congrats, might want to fire up the WABAC machine maybe you will do better next time)
Dudley Do Right 1999 character knock off grossed just $9,974,410 against a budget of $70 million. I bet Nell Fenwick (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) never looked at his the same.
Boris and Natasha Movie Budget: $1 million Box office:$294,205
If you guys want to be know for tee shirt, bobble head, and "Slut Purse" sales then so be it. I thought we were above that shit. I know that getting a well respected tee shirt on this board can cost $150 and up but I do not see anyone rushing to own one. If you guy's think you can sell BSC tee shirts for $150 each than have at it.
I will continue working on my projects, There are several new adapters for the BONN11 including a undulating Alien self lubricating dildo that applies a gentle oscillating pressure to the clitoris while spraying it with bursts of high and low pressure water based lube.
The EFFENFLO: A cucumber vodka infused, tampon providing a revolutionary dual therapy treatment Hoogars need every month. the smoothing cucumber spa treatment with an added buz right where it it's needed.
I am betting that we will make more sales and devise more profits than we can imagine through the direct sales of BSC's Bat Guano douche, the BONN11, proprietary lubes and enema solutions, and what maybe come our flagship product the
