I understand why you're so upset Dorothy. Your mother lined you up with a piece of metal at birth. Or it may be that you've been holding your farts in since 2010 - that's why your built like an ice cream cone. Or maybe it's your Brillo pad of a wig you wear in every photo. Or the sharpied on eyebrows.
You should really send the address and let me come and fix you up girl.
Also it's a bit nasty to not wear shoes in a hotel room.
WAIT all you serve is mouth you should probably just start getting professional shots of your throat.