Significant Others and blowjobs....talk to me ladies

[Billogoods]

Hell, yeah, she's happy in bed, asleep with no desire to do otherwise.

[DownForWhatever]

Years ago, I tried to apply some of the knowledge I'd gained from the hobby and help the SO improve her skills.

...let's just say that made her a bit suspicious.

[Sir Lancehernot]

No woman wants a penis in any of her orifices. It's something she'll accept on a transactional basis, as long as she's getting money, security, status, or something else she wants in return. The moment that goal is achieved, the faucet gets turned off. Why does a bride smile so big? Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.

[rexdutchman]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Sad but very true

[Somform]

I guess the reason many of us are here is very similar. When dating my SO if I walked in front of her nude she was trying to blow me. Now, married and 6 years later it's two quickies per month and 2 bj's per year. She blames hormones but isn't really trying to do anything about it.
So, now I have a TDL from eccie.

[TexTushHog]

Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

No woman wants a penis in any of her orifices. It's something she'll accept on a transactional basis, as long as she's getting money, security, status, or something else she wants in return. The moment that goal is achieved, the faucet gets turned off. Why does a bride smile so big? Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.

I’m not sure it’s really women. I think it’s more human nature. People just get bored fucking the same person all the time. Yes, men are socialized not to resist as much, and women are socialized to embrace monogamy more, but it’s not natural for either. When they’re single, women are out there fucking half the town flat.

[JohnQ1769]

Originally Posted by Sir Lancehernot

No woman wants a penis in any of her orifices. It's something she'll accept on a transactional basis, as long as she's getting money, security, status, or something else she wants in return. The moment that goal is achieved, the faucet gets turned off. Why does a bride smile so big? Because she knows she's given her last blowjob.

I concur.

[JohnQ1769]

Originally Posted by Somform

I guess the reason many of us are here is very similar. When dating my SO if I walked in front of her nude she was trying to blow me. Now, married and 6 years later it's two quickies per month and 2 bj's per year. She blames hormones but isn't really trying to do anything about it.
So, now I have a TDL from eccie.

Yep, same here. Pisses me off that she isn't trying to fix things on her end.

[fanuvmxpx]

Wait till she gets mad when you stop caring about the lack of BJ's, once she realizes your world doesn't revolve around her, the sex may stop too.

[Billogoods]

Time to wax philosophical.

It has been noted that the general differences in the concept of "Power" play a strong role in the male/female relationship.

Men, when faced with conflict, exert Power through intimidation and verbal/physical confrontation. He bows up, stands close & speaks harshly, like a drill sargeant or football coach. It is out nature to be combative. Male role models, authority figures, teach this through behavior. There is a point where the man is compelled to physically force the discussion. Whether he tries is a test of his self-control.

Men will not apologize until they either (a)receive concession from the other party, or, (b)realize the fault is entirely their own. Some may not apologize even then. Most men will remember their mistakes, but forget wrongs against them, once the conflict is resolved. This is why we think that it's all cool after the fact. "We cool, right?"

Women, when faced with conflict, exert Power through exclusion and verbal demeaning. (Think Middle School here) She shames by turning blame on the other person. Then, she excludes the other person by refusing to interact, after having her say. Catty comments and dismissals, like, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were there." Or, "Like I give a shit." Then, the Silent Treatment. Women have been Ghosting for centuries. Mothers have taught these lessons in Conflict Resolution for generations. Every woman remembers her mother say, "I'm not talking to your dad, right now." Or, hanging up the phone, after an hour of laughing with her bestie, and, muttering, or shouting, "THAT BITCH!"

Women will not apologize. She may say she is sorry that the other person was offended. But, she will not admit fault, without pointing to wrongs against her. "I'm sorry. But, you..." And, she certainly will NEVER forget those perceived wrongs. They are cataloged for future reference. The end of BJs is just Level 1- Silent Treatment, an exercise in Power.

Sex changes the dynamic. After all, who can be mad at the Old Man, after he just made her body quiver like a jello? And, what man wouldn't build The Great Wall of China if he knew wifey was gonna drain him with an hour-long blowjob? So, withholding sex allows the woman to exert full control.

These are, of course, generalizations, based on traditional male/female interaction.

[GingerKatt]

Well, you absolutely can’t make such generalizations. I apologize when I’m wrong and I’ll always treat my SO very well. He was a former client and accepts me just as I am and I accept him. And I certainly don’t withhold sex! I want it as much as my man does, so I’d just be hurting myself. And I admit, I’ve done the silent treatment in past relationships but I’m older and wiser now and I value communication. I don’t withhold BJ’s either. We both like oral.
I guess you guys who posted have never been with a woman who likes sex. Too bad for you. Or maybe you’re not so good in bed and it doesn’t turn your woman on. If she likes what you do, she’ll definitely be coming back for more. I even have erotic dreams all the time! It’s a craving. For GOOD sex.

And truly, I really think that my being a provider these past six years or so, helps me in my relationship. I’ve been married and divorced twice before and I let myself become that nagging, picky wife who was always upset with her husband for his annoying habits, that used to not bother me.

But since I was a provider, I learned a lot about men, especially married men. I listened to how unhappy they were with their wives and how the wives were not interested in sex anymore. I vowed then, if I ever had an SO again, that I would treat him as well as my clients, better even. I’ve always had a high sex drive and an adventurous nature for trying new things. So that’s in my favor, especially since I learned so many new things from my clients. And I really paid attention to what they wished their wives were like, and the things that really made them happy in a relationship, both physically and emotionally. I even want to go to the local swingers clubs with him and l want to have threesomes with hot providers.

I learned things about men that most women don’t ever get to. And my man appreciates my knowledge. I don’t work anymore, but he’s more than generous in supporting me and giving me cash and a credit card. I’m happy, he’s happy and I aim to keep him happy.

[GingerKatt]

If you guys are getting great sex from really good, hot providers who love their job, your wife may not turn you on anymore. And providers probably do a better job of keeping their looks on point and wearing sensual lingerie and showing passion. Which is why I still do that for my SO. I will always make him feel glad to come home to me. And make him feel wanted and sexy and appreciated. Even after we marry. Just don’t judge all women by your boring wives. And they may be bored because of you...

[TheOracle]

Originally Posted by Billogoods

Time to wax philosophical.

It has been noted that the general differences in the concept of "Power" play a strong role in the male/female relationship.

Men, when faced with conflict, exert Power through intimidation and verbal/physical confrontation. He bows up, stands close & speaks harshly, like a drill sargeant or football coach. It is out nature to be combative. Male role models, authority figures, teach this through behavior. There is a point where the man is compelled to physically force the discussion. Whether he tries is a test of his self-control.

Men will not apologize until they either (a)receive concession from the other party, or, (b)realize the fault is entirely their own. Some may not apologize even then. Most men will remember their mistakes, but forget wrongs against them, once the conflict is resolved. This is why we think that it's all cool after the fact. "We cool, right?"

Women, when faced with conflict, exert Power through exclusion and verbal demeaning. (Think Middle School here) She shames by turning blame on the other person. Then, she excludes the other person by refusing to interact, after having her say. Catty comments and dismissals, like, "I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were there." Or, "Like I give a shit." Then, the Silent Treatment. Women have been Ghosting for centuries. Mothers have taught these lessons in Conflict Resolution for generations. Every woman remembers her mother say, "I'm not talking to your dad, right now." Or, hanging up the phone, after an hour of laughing with her bestie, and, muttering, or shouting, "THAT BITCH!"

Women will not apologize. She may say she is sorry that the other person was offended. But, she will not admit fault, without pointing to wrongs against her. "I'm sorry. But, you..." And, she certainly will NEVER forget those perceived wrongs. They are cataloged for future reference. The end of BJs is just Level 1- Silent Treatment, an exercise in Power.

Sex changes the dynamic. After all, who can be mad at the Old Man, after he just made her body quiver like a jello? And, what man wouldn't build The Great Wall of China if he knew wifey was gonna drain him with an hour-long blowjob? So, withholding sex allows the woman to exert full control.

These are, of course, generalizations, based on traditional male/female interaction.

Well put. When I touched on the power dynamic earlier I was told these things don't occur and everyone's just lazy. Lol. (Which I know better, of course.)

Originally Posted by GingerKatt

Well, you absolutely can’t make such generalizations. I apologize when I’m wrong and I’ll always treat my SO very well. He was a former client and accepts me just as I am and I accept him. And I certainly don’t withhold sex! I want it as much as my man does, so I’d just be hurting myself. And I admit, I’ve done the silent treatment in past relationships but I’m older and wiser now and I value communication. I don’t withhold BJ’s either. We both like oral.
I guess you guys who posted have never been with a woman who likes sex. Too bad for you. Or maybe you’re not so good in bed and it doesn’t turn your woman on. If she likes what you do, she’ll definitely be coming back for more. I even have erotic dreams all the time! It’s a craving. For GOOD sex.

And truly, I really think that my being a provider these past six years or so, helps me in my relationship. I’ve been married and divorced twice before and I let myself become that nagging, picky wife who was always upset with her husband for his annoying habits, that used to not bother me.

But since I was a provider, I learned a lot about men, especially married men. I listened to how unhappy they were with their wives and how the wives were not interested in sex anymore. I vowed then, if I ever had an SO again, that I would treat him as well as my clients, better even. I’ve always had a high sex drive and an adventurous nature for trying new things. So that’s in my favor, especially since I learned so many new things from my clients. And I really paid attention to what they wished their wives were like, and the things that really made them happy in a relationship, both physically and emotionally. I even want to go to the local swingers clubs with him and l want to have threesomes with hot providers.

I learned things about men that most women don’t ever get to. And my man appreciates my knowledge. I don’t work anymore, but he’s more than generous in supporting me and giving me cash and a credit card. I’m happy, he’s happy and I aim to keep him happy.

Generalizations are another way of saying, "Not all, but most." They come from a real place. While you're saying you don't fall into this generalization, you're also saying you literally had to become a ho to learn to become a housewife (proverbially speaking). That's an abnormal extreme that most women do not go to in order to learn what you say you've learned and arrive where you say you've arrived. Every rule has exceptions, but it doesn't change the rule.

[Billogoods]

Originally Posted by TheOracle

Generalizations are another way of saying, "Not all, but most."

Exactly. Most people do not fit into a generalization completely. But, almost everyone fits some part of it.

[cage196]

whats the one food a woman eats that prevents her from giving head? wedding cake LOL