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Guest062211 · 11-20-2010, 11:26 AM

I would say, it depends on what you do in the future. If you plan to run for political office, then yes you could have a bit of a problem in the future... Although if you ran for President, I'd vote for you!

Randy4Candy · 11-20-2010, 11:37 AM

"Men, do you think" LOL! Yes, we do but not often clearly...hee hee.

Seriously, there's some good advice posted so far, but I figure you already knew about 95% of it. The only real objects that will cause you to stumble is self-doubt about either yourself or the reason you're checking it in. You are a fine woman who has always worked and worked hard who also looks out for and after others. You'll probably miss the non-bcd social activities more than anything else. Take care of ***** and your man - you'll be just fine. Besides, you provided for how long? And you were "Suzy Homemaker" (among other things) for how long?

Suck it up and work your plan - you can hack it, you're one of those WezTexas darlin's.

Guest030617 · 11-20-2010, 12:22 PM

Fawn

Are you the type of a person to let the past go and move on?
IF yes then your TRUE love would be able tooo.....because after all IF he is your true love then he is just like you in all the ways that really count!!

IF no....then he is not the one for you.....move on...PERIOD

LuckJack · 11-20-2010, 12:39 PM

You know you can and with the right man he can

AgoodMess · 11-20-2010, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fawn

a women can ever leave the biz? or do you think her past will always catch up to her? Or will she always be the same person? This job does not define her... She is her own person...but some one told her she will always be a provider...do you men think a women can ever truly walk away or will this hobby always haunt her?

To the point answers (MHO): [1] Leave biz: Yes [2] Catch up: Possible [3] Same person? No [4] The job does define/label her [5] She may not always be a provider [6] walk away: Yes [7] Haunt her: Yes.

Details: To not confuse the issue, I'd add "to whom" to the question "Who am I"? We keep changing all the time, and our perception of our own selves change, too. However, as social animal, our actions are defined by how others perceive us. We live in a brutal, ruthless society, and our present jobs become a rubber stamp about our past in the future. I know that is a bit convoluted, but try to put "providing for 4 years" on your resume and see how many offers you get. Prudes will not get along if/when they learn of your past, even if you have changed your ways.

Culturally/morally if she thinks "I have sinned", it is hard to get rid of that. Personally, I dont think of providing or being provided as sins, but YMMV. In any case, in the society that we live in, ppl would keep trying to dig up her past, just to exploit the facts to their advantages, whether the form is financial, physical or emotional. This sense of vulnerability will always haunt her, both in the workplace and relationships. This is one reason why we all try to be discreet and faceless in the hobby.

Brooke Cumsalot · 11-20-2010, 01:12 PM

Now here is my 23 year old opinion on this often thought of question... Your job doesnt define who you are, you define what your job is. This job can be a chore to many girls, a fantasy, a way of living, a hobby.. and the list can go on. To me, this job is a variety of things, and I honestly can say I love wat I DO. I do on the other hand wish it was not so looked down upon or maybe a topic I could talk openly about as others do about there job. I thought about quiting and getting a real job.... for right now that would be like a waitress or maybe be a beverage cart girl again at the local golf course. BUT I really feel as if this hobby has done more for me then the average job usually does, and sure as hell pays more lol This job has taught me that my time is valuable, and more importantly that my time is WORTH it! I have no problem meeting men in my personally life, but the quality of men I meet with this job is hard to beat. They make me feel adorable, sexy, they appreciate my time, they listen to me, and most of all THEY SINCERLY are satisfied when they leave (which makes me Happy). I have not always been able to be myself around people and they allow me to do just that. I always know they want the girl from my pictures and reviews... which is me, they want me for who I am and expect nothing less everytime. I guess you do not alway get that with new people you meet. All that being said.... makes me wonder .... why am I so good at providing, and always sleep alone? As no guy in my personal life values me as they do in this hobby. Always a bridesmaid never a bride maybe ? lol Just makes me think I will never leave this job. Kinda scares me. But then again I am only 23, there is so much more I have to learn. SOOOOOOO to answer your question fawn.... No I don't think a provider will ever stop providing. Cause if she does quit.... if she truely is a good provider.... she will always be providing to her boyfriend, husband, friend, or boss.... Shit I technically have been providing for almost 6 years, because I have been catering to alot of people and do not get treated half as good as I do in this hobby. Providing is a job where you take care of a clients needs and give them your time (respect, heart, goodies, your ears, your soul, your laugh.. etc). You will always be doing it... it's in your blood and nature. BUT WILL YOU ALWAYS BE APPRECIATED back at the same level? Doubt it.

So you can leave this life style behind... but in reality the only thing that you quit... is that envelope on the table.

**JUST MAKE SURE YOU ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU DESERVE EITHER WAY.

p.s As quoted in my signature line... "Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present."

BROOKIE

jafun · 11-20-2010, 02:13 PM

Fawn,

Of course you are who you are now, NOT who you were yesterday. Like Bravegeart said, it is upto him. It simply is a matter of trust and love.

J

rachet3375 · 11-20-2010, 04:34 PM

First let me say "Good for you Fawn!" If I were in a position to meet and fall in love with a lady that was/is a provider I would know going in what and who she was. Once I commited to being in her life I would like to think that I could get past any BS on my part as to what she did for a living. I would always know, but would see her for what she meant to me. I tend to pride myself on not holding 'grudges' so as long as our feelings for each other were sincere a life together would be completely possible. I have seen you before and think you are a truly lovely person. Guess I had better see you again soon before it is too late

Congrats again darlin'.

Guest030911 · 11-20-2010, 04:52 PM

Yes Fawn, I will marry you! I don't care what you once were. It is what you are now and what you want to be and if you are willing to take the steps to make that happen.

Okay, the last part is true. You change the behavior and the mind will follow. Your basic college level psych courses teach you that. So do most 12 step programs. (we can talk about the marriage thing, but maybe we should date first.)

You can be who you want to be. You just have the guts to do it. You have done it before. Change is scary. It can come with those "character building" times that suck ass when you are going through them. ("you" in this sense refers to all of us, including me. I need self-talk sometimes, too.)

Winning a fucking lotto would be nice, too. The fact that I have a greater chance of being hit by lightning just sucks.

Int3rested · 11-20-2010, 05:01 PM

well said, by all..very cool..gotta get the lotto ticket...rock on...

fawn · 11-20-2010, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Peanut

If the lady truly wants out of the business of providing - She can do it. The hard part is staying out because of the "easy" money. If you are a $200/hr provider and see 3 guys a day for 5 days ($3000 for the week) = more money than working a M-F job for a month in most cases. The down side to providing is that were isnt a retirement plan unless she is putting into something like an IRA.

Getting out depends alot on a support system from home, education level, and the willingness to work at a job for an hourly rate much less than the above rate (the above rate is $75/hr based on a 40 hour week calculation).

Hope no one is offended with my wording.

peanut, I do work a real job...I always have and always will....
so that part doesnt scare me...

Quote:

Originally Posted by texasred21

I honestly think it just depends on how in love the person is with you and how much confidence he has in himself and how much confidence he has in your love towards him . Just my opinion .

This is so true texasred....confidence is something I am not lacking in...
Now him I guess time will tell.....

Quote:

Originally Posted by tt8083

Fawn,

As an open minded man, I am going to give you my honest opinion.

Everyone goes to work for a reason and that is to make money. Weather that job is being a Provider, Lawyer, Doctor, Cars Salesman, or Etc... You still go to some kind of Job.
Now listen carefully this is very Important. You (Fawn) will need to be honest with this person and him honest to you.
Honesty is the only thing I know....And I am hoping he has been
as honest with me as he can.....

If you quit being a provider do it on your own term and not do it just because you are trying chasing a relationship. (When you do things that are not on your own term you'll end up having doubt, regret, and resentment. Therefore the relationship is not going to survival or work out.)

This is so true....

Once this person has all the facts he can decide for himself. If he loves you and you love him somehow LOVE will find a way to keep you together.

This is what I am banking on....

There is an old saying. People who Love you don't care and People who don't Love you care. (What that mean is people who really care about you don't care and will accept you for who you are. People who don't really care about you always find things or ways to not like you.) So, in other words if he love you he should accept you for who you are and all the things that makes who you are. If Not move ON and it was never meant to be.

another true statement...

Yes Fawn, when you are ready to move onto the next chapter of your life. Don't waste your time on men whom you are honest with but still are judging you. Be yourself and honest because there are millions of real men out there that will just simply accept you just the way you are.

Thank you I will remember that....

Quote:

Originally Posted by M A X

Fawn, the gents are right. You are not defined by your occupation. If the man you care for makes you feel as though this is what defines you, then you already have the answer you seek. I hope this is not the case. If you are getting vibes that it's going to be an issue in the long run, then I imagine you know which direction you need to go concerning this relationship.

Yes ma'am I do.....

You deserve to be treated like the truly good person you are. You have wonderful qualities that have nothing to do with your occupation and that were a part of you before you joined the hobby.
If you didn't have those qualities already, you never would have been so successful at what you do here.

Thank you Max, I have done well for myself in this business....and why, is because I treat others as I want to be treated....It is just who I am ...

I hope he can see those qualities in you, first and foremost.
If so, then I imagine you will be one very happy lady. We all wish that for you, hon.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bubba3452

Can a woman get out? Yes. Is it easy? No.

I think a to key getting out and also breaking the provider "mentality" is to understand the core reason(s) one is in the profession.

I am not sure what you mean by a provider mentality....

And no, its NOT just money though that is or can be a very important part.

That is what brought me here...and is the only reason I am in this....

Once you understand the true motivators for doing this, if you can address those issues, resolve them or find another way to deal with them, then you will be mentialy equipped to walk away.

Well lets see my issue was my husband died and we both worked but he was the bread winner and my income was not enough to get my last child through high school and then into college....

As long as those underlying issues remain unresolved, it will be almost impossible to truly leave this profession. A woman might stop "providing" but will still have issues relating to men and will still find the urge to engage in this kind of activity almost impossible to resist.

Are you freaking kidding me....what issues with men?

Your man's love may be unconditional and that will help but will not solve everything.

I dont need a man to solve anything for me...I am a big girl and can solve my own problems... Thank you for your input...

Quote:

Originally Posted by jfred

Hey Fawn, pretty exciting stuff being in love.

The issue here, it seems to me, is whether you and/or your lover feel that the imprint and effect of your sexual experiences is something that needs to be forgotten or forgiven at all. I question whether they do and if it's a big issue to either of you I'd suggest that rather than drifting off into what you hope will be a sweet future, you pause (there is a PAUSE button!

) and get behind the inner assumptions that lie behind that. Did that make sense?

yes sir it did... and by the way I love the damn pause button....

What I'm trying to say is that if your man considers you tainted in any way by what you've experienced, I'd go slow with him.

At my age and my experiences in life....Slow is a good thing in my
book....that is the only way you truly get to know someone...not
by rushing....

2. It seems to me that the issue going forward is this: What role will fidelity play in your relationship?

Good question Jfred....I know when I give my heart and soul to a man...
it is only for him....And I cant speak for him...that is why we are taking things slow....

Someone above mentioned the "underlying causes" of a woman choosing sex-work, or even considering it as a possibility. It's worth spending some time on that because it might have real impact on the "success" of your relationship. And the same goes for your man if he is/was a hobbyist -- it WASN'T just because mamma wasn't giving him what he needed, and the impulses that led him to first consider and then follow thru on engaging the services of prostitutes aren't going to vanish simply because he has a willing and skillful lover at home.

I know and that is a scary thought....

Does that make sense?

I hear you babe....

You're amazing Fawn. Good luck.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Randy4Candy

"Men, do you think" LOL! Yes, we do but not often clearly...hee hee.

You are a fine woman who has always worked and worked hard who also looks out for and after others. You'll probably miss the non-bcd social activities more than anything else. Take care of ***** and your man - you'll be just fine. Besides, you provided for how long? July 07
And you were "Suzy Homemaker" (among other things) for how long? 21yrs

Suck it up and work your plan - you can hack it, you're one of those WezTexas darlin's.

Thats what makes me so lovable...

Quote:

Originally Posted by rachet3375

First let me say "Good for you Fawn!" If I were in a position to meet and fall in love with a lady that was/is a provider I would know going in what and who she was. Once I committed to being in her life I would like to think that I could get past any BS on my part as to what she did for a living. I would always know, but would see her for what she meant to me. I tend to pride myself on not holding 'grudges' so as long as our feelings for each other were sincere a life together would be completely possible. I have seen you before and think you are a truly lovely person. Guess I had better see you again soon before it is too late

Congrats again darlin'.

Haha...youre so sweet, but I am not going any where right this second...
But thank you for the words of wisdom....

Quote:

Originally Posted by cpi3000

Yes Fawn, I will marry you!

I will marry you to CPI....

I don't care what you once were. It is what you are now and what you want to be and if you are willing to take the steps to make that happen.

Okay, the last part is true. You change the behavior and the mind will follow. Your basic college level psych courses teach you that. So do most 12 step programs. (we can talk about the marriage thing, but maybe we should date first.)

You can be who you want to be. You just have the guts to do it.
You have done it before. Change is scary. It can come with those "character building" times that suck ass when you are going trough them. ("you" in this sense refers to all of us including me. I need self-talk sometimes, too.)

Thank you baby....sigh... I know I am up for this new challenge....
I am a survivor....I fight for what I want in life....

Winning a fucking lotto would be nice, too. The fact that I have a greater chance of being hit by lightning just sucks.

Guys thank you for all your responses...it has helped a lot...I just wanted to get some insight into how you would feel if you fell in love with a provider....And I knew I would get some honest answers here
Thank you ladies also....
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

LAVixian · 11-20-2010, 05:37 PM

If he can truely accept you (and fawn), i do not think it will be such a large impact for the long run. honesty goes a long way

rachet3375 · 11-20-2010, 06:12 PM

And no, its NOT just money though that is or can be a very important part.

That is what brought me here...and is the only reason I am in this....

I find it absolutely impossible to believe that you are only in this for the money darlin'. I have been with a few providers who were in it just for the money and their attitude, service and demeanor proved it. You on the other hand do not convey an " in it for the dough" attitude. I believe that you truly like what you do and can do to men. I could be wrong but even in the short but intense visit I had with you that is the distinct impression I got. You come across as a caring person and anyone would be lucky to have you. Gotta come see you soon babe.

ps. love your avatar, you gots some gorgeous gams doll, I love em!

cookie man · 11-20-2010, 06:48 PM

If a man is in love and secure with who he is, then YES he can get past the Provider thing. I'm not saying it's not in the back of his mind at first, but in time he will grow to trust you completely. I mean, do your really blame a guy for being a little apprehensive? Also, if he is a client, you have to wonder if it's in him to be faithful. It is a leap of faith. Honesty is a biggie. Best wishes!

fawn · 11-20-2010, 06:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rachet3375

And no, its NOT just money though that is or can be a very important part.

That is what brought me here...and is the only reason I am in this....

I find it absolutely impossible to believe that you are only in this for the money darlin'. I have been with a few providers who were in it just for the money and their attitude, service and demeanor proved it. You on the other hand do not convey an " in it for the dough" attitude. I believe that you truly like what you do and can do to men. I could be wrong but even in the short but intense visit I had with you that is the distinct impression I got. You come across as a caring person and anyone would be lucky to have you. Gotta come see you soon babe.

ps. love your avatar, you gots some gorgeous gams doll, I love em!

You know, I am in this for the money....and it is a job to me, a job that I take pride in.. that is why I have made a name for myself...but I do that with everything in life.. my daddy raised me that way.(if youre going to do something do it right the first time)....Yes I said I do this for the money.that doesnt mean that I haven't meet some truly wonderful men that I honestly care about...and they have become my friend....See you have to remember you pay me for that illusion..(just so happens I am damn good at it) and it doesnt hurt that I am a loving and care person by nature so it just makes my job a whole lot easier.....