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Guest012814 · 10-07-2013, 04:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fastcar

Gemma, it takes a lot of time to handle the business and administrative side of what you do. This guy is abusing your good nature and wasting your time. If he is seeing other ladies,he needs to use them as references from now on.

+1 - much like others gave said, if the guy hasn't seen you in more than a year then the reference is worthless. Who knows if he's still legit after 6 years - if you haven't seen him in that long, then there's no way for you to know and providing a reference after this amount of time is a sheer guess on your part. He's abusjng your good nature by asking for a reference 6 years later and if I were you, I wouldn't be giving it.

Allie_Kat · 10-07-2013, 06:04 AM

I had a client who kept using me as a reference over a year after I had last seen him. I told the providers that I hadn't seen him in a while and that if I were them, I would ask for a more recent reference. I then contacted the client and let him know that he needed to update his verification with me and he complied. lol

Enchanterlingum · 10-07-2013, 07:08 PM

I have no illusion that anybody would remember me more than a few months.

Topgun007 · 10-07-2013, 07:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemma34

I totally agree. I admit I'm wrong. He was so good and loyal to me in ways I wont go into detail about....buuuuttt, that doesnt mean I owe it to him to keep verifying him. And my fellow providers should have replied to me regarding this long ago. And I should be looking out for them at all times. Aaarrrgggghhhhh. I hate admitting my mistakes. I will say he is a long time hobbyist but I dont really know him anymore....

Why don't you call him and talk about it? Or will that be confrontational, which you are trying to avoid?

Guest010418 · 10-07-2013, 08:00 PM

Gemma,

You have been too nice. Allie has a great idea. Present him with that via email.

Guest013121 · 10-07-2013, 09:29 PM

Great advice everyone! Thank you.

Luscious-Lili · 10-07-2013, 09:59 PM

So what is all of your final opinions. I think there should be a time limit of some sort due to safety concerns. I mean anything could have happened and the client decides he will have other intentions to make appointments. 6 months or one year?

ElisabethWhispers · 10-08-2013, 12:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemma34

Yea, I tend to agree with you both. Im sure he is still harmless as I read the reviews he writes, but on another note I also feel he takes for granted that I will just supply him a verification whenever. Today I told both him and the provider no I wouldnt verify him and I felt like a bitch lol.

I've been in the same boat and so don't feel too badly about things. I guess because I'm so comfortable to deal with once someone knows me (like an old shoe. lol), I get men who will use my name for a reference way past the time that it's suitable to do so.

Sometimes, if we've kept up otherwise, I'll O.K. him if I remember him. Sometimes, these men are pretty memorable.

But often, I'll also write and say something to the person in question.

Sounds like, to me, that you did the right thing, Gemma. And for those that are chastising you in any fashion, I would ignore it. Good topic.

jaybee · 10-08-2013, 06:58 AM

what scares me is you will rember all about a guy 6 years ago..... do you keep notes? i cant rember who i did 4 months ago

Guest102513-1 · 10-08-2013, 08:47 AM

Well jaybee, the way I read this thread, Gemma saw this guy for a couple of years...and then did not see him for the following 6 years

So IMO, she did not keep "notes" on him....just remember him as a regular client, who for the next 6 years continue to use her as a reference.

Now, I usually can't remember what I had for dinner last night...you can't remember who you saw 4 months ago...so we are in the same boat there.

However, I don't think our lack of remembering things should be used, in anyway, as the gold standard for what someone like Gemma remembers

She's a pro....we're just out having fun, lol. WE need to make notes to help our memory...dam what did I have for dinner last night...she probably doesn't.

And regarding Gemma's original question...I agree with the feedback she has been given. 6 years is way too long for continual referencing.

Not only that, but I would be little concern why a guy...who apparently has seen other ladies in the 6year period continues to use Gemma as a reference.

Perhaps it is as simple as he wants to maintain contact her...or perhaps there are other reasons involved on the guy's side. Either way, not fair to her, to continue to use her as a reference.

I would suggest either a PM or e-mail from her to the guy...nicely stating "cut it out".

Or perhaps a marketing opportunity to say...thanks for remembering me, but we need to get together again... to have some friendly business fun, before anymore references

Guest013121 · 10-08-2013, 12:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jaybee

what scares me is you will rember all about a guy 6 years ago..... do you keep notes? i cant rember who i did 4 months ago

I dont keep notes. Never have. I have an amazing memory and I am extremely low volume so I remember and/or know my clients quite well. My established friends usually stick around for awhile. I am sorry it scares you that I recall who I bump uglies with.

Quote:

Originally Posted by vkmaster

Well jaybee, the way I read this thread, Gemma saw this guy for a couple of years...and then did not see him for the following 6 years

So IMO, she did not keep "notes" on him....just remember him as a regular client, who for the next 6 years continue to use her as a reference.

Now, I usually can't remember what I had for dinner last night...you can't remember who you saw 4 months ago...so we are in the same boat there.

However, I don't think our lack of remembering things should be used, in anyway, as the gold standard for what someone like Gemma remembers

She's a pro....we're just out having fun, lol. WE need to make notes to help our memory...dam what did I have for dinner last night...she probably doesn't.

And regarding Gemma's original question...I agree with the feedback she has been given. 6 years is way too long for continual referencing.

Not only that, but I would be little concern why a guy...who apparently has seen other ladies in the 6year period continues to use Gemma as a reference.

Perhaps it is as simple as he wants to maintain contact her...or perhaps there are other reasons involved on the guy's side. Either way, not fair to her, to continue to use her as a reference.

I would suggest either a PM or e-mail from her to the guy...nicely stating "cut it out".

Or perhaps a marketing opportunity to say...thanks for remembering me, but we need to get together again... to have some friendly business fun, before anymore references

Thanks for your kind words and advice vk! You are very correct, I did see this guy for 2 years and needless to say, I was pretty spoiled, so I remember him quite well! Hehe...But, seriously, i am professional and discrete. And despite what most think of my board persona, I am actually very friendly, im just opinionated and 'tough' And I would never keep anybodys personal info anywhere but inside my my own head.

@ Elisabeth, thanks for your wonderful advice and your support. It ALWAYS means a lot coming from you.

Wizard of Ahhhhs · 10-08-2013, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gemma34

...I recall who I bump uglies with.

<< my tongue's not as ugly as it seems, Gemma!

Guest013121 · 10-08-2013, 09:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wizard of Ahhhhs

<< my tongue's not as ugly as it seems, Gemma!

I'll need some proof of that sir

Guest021115 · 10-09-2013, 08:48 AM

Gemma,

I thought this was a great post, thank you for writing it and for being so honest!

I have also experienced this with previous clients who haven't visited with me for quite a while, but for some reason continue to use me as a reference.

I did help them out for quite a while, but eventually decided that not only would they have more recent references from all the other girls they'd been seeing since our visit, but they were taking advantage of my time and the fact that I'm nice. I also contributed this to the fact that maybe I'm more reliable and easier to get ahold of/quicker with a response for a reference than other girls they'd seen (especially if they frequent bp girls, who are here today, gone tomorrow).

I have a good memory, too, with no note taking, I might point out...but lately I've had a lot of verification requests or appointment requests from people that say "I haven't seen you in X amount of years, but we really used to have a lot of fun together", yet I have no number saved for them and my email/pm searches are fruitless. Needless to say, if I don't remember you for some odd reason, they YES, you will have to provide me with a recent reference!

As a side note, I can't tell you how many people write/call me that I haven't seen in ages and want to know if I can help them find a good provider in whatever location they are visiting. Quite frankly, I think that's just rude, especially if I don't know you well or haven't seen you in forever! Yeah, sure, why not...after all, I have nothing better to do with my time than research OTHER providers for you to have a good time with.

ElisabethWhispers · 10-09-2013, 09:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Staci Stacked

...As a side note, I can't tell you how many people write/call me that I haven't seen in ages and want to know if I can help them find a good provider in whatever location they are visiting. Quite frankly, I think that's just rude, especially if I don't know you well or haven't seen you in forever! Yeah, sure, why not...after all, I have nothing better to do with my time than research OTHER providers for you to have a good time with.

Ditto.