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Guest102513-1 · 09-30-2013, 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JonSnow

There is nothing wrong in asking questions and having a conversation. And there is nothing wrong with telling the person asking that you're not comfortable answering.

Maybe.....

But there is something to be said about showing some class and some dignity....understanding that you should just be cool about respecting a person's privacy. And why sticking your nose in someone business, without them inviting you to stick your nose in someone's business is just not the classy thing to do.

Having the "desire" to know more about a lady's business, and then saying "well they can always say "no", just doesn't cut it IMO. And I would imagine there are a number of ladies, who won't post it, but totally agree with me.

To those ladies that would not have any problem with such unneeded probing...may a give Snow as a possible reference???

Sorry, having the desire to ask questions, doesn't trumph whether it is the cool thing to do.

I find it utterly amazing that, that point needs to be made to begin with....then again, maybe not so surprising any more, lol

KCQuestor · 09-30-2013, 12:28 PM

"So, how did you decide to become a doctor?" -- perfectly natural
"So, what made you choose to be a prosecutor rather than a defense attorney or other kind of law?" -- I'd ask this at a party
"So, what's it like being a Navy pilot?" -- doesn't seem so odd to me
"So, what's it like being an electrician?" -- seems like an odd question, but I'm sure someone has asked it
"So, an exterminator huh? I'll be you've seen some gross stuff!" -- This one time I moved a refrigerator away from the wall and there was a solid rectangle of cockroaches that scattered throughout the house. OK, that's probably more than you wanted to know.
"So, you sell kitchen cabinets? I'll bet you have some crazy stories!" -- probably not

Guest102513-1 · 09-30-2013, 01:04 PM

Well KCQ, cute post...but I think the type of questions that are asked of the ladies go way, way beyond those type of questions. At least that is what a number of the ladies I have been with have said, a number of times.

Like Marcus Allen used to say, when he would score...act like you have been there before

Just because you are curious....that opens the door to questions???? smh.

And remember curiousity kills the cat....I just hate freaking cats

Guest013121 · 09-30-2013, 01:14 PM

Very true vk, curiousity can get the best of anybody.

JRLawrence · 09-30-2013, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dirty dog

Sorry but why would you care, are you interested in becoming an escort? Or are you trying to save a girl? Are you looking for a girl friend? Writing a book? I mean really what does it matter, unless your trying to do one of the listed items, its a business transaction. The funny thing to me is that if the situation was reversed and she was asking you to spill the detailed information of your life you would have been posting an alert LOL.

Hay dog,

Just because it is business, doesn't mean that it is not also personal. I know a lot of personal details from almost everyone I meet; from the waitress at the cafe, to the present of corporations. When someone shares personal things with you, it means that they, to a small amount, trust you. Turning personal items against someone, is a sure way to hurt them.

When a personal friend, lover, or mate turns agains you and uses personal information to do so it hurts - and it can hurt a lot.

Everyone is due some respect.

JR

Guest013121 · 09-30-2013, 03:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRLawrence

Hay dog,

Just because it is business, doesn't mean that it is not also personal. I know a lot of personal details from almost everyone I meet; from the waitress at the cafe, to the present of corporations. When someone shares personal things with you, it means that they, to a small amount, trust you. Turning personal items against someone, is a sure way to hurt them.

When a personal friend, lover, or mate turns agains you and uses personal information to do so it hurts - and it can hurt a lot.

Everyone is due some respect.

JR

Well said hun...

KCQuestor · 09-30-2013, 03:50 PM

I could have sworn someone made the statement that they wouldn't ask their "attorney, accountant, or plumber" details about their profession. In fact, that was what prompted me to make my post (I even changed "plumber" to "electrician" in my post to make it clear I wasn't being confrontational). I guess someone edited that part.

Anyway, I guess it all depends on the nature of the questions about the "details of her life in this hobby."

"How much do you make?" isn't appropriate for anyone, hooker or hairdresser.

And I agree that "What made you decide to do this job?" has implied condescension ("...as opposed to something more socially acceptable?").
And I agree that a LOT of the questions one would think of to ask an escort would be private.

But there are a lot of conversational questions I can think of that I wouldn't think would be inappropriate. Especially if she was a traveling lady.

"How long are you usually on the road? What's it like living out of hotels for that long? What's your favorite city to visit? Do you ever do touristy stuff? Where do you do laundry?"

dirty dog · 09-30-2013, 05:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRLawrence

Hay dog,

Just because it is business, doesn't mean that it is not also personal. I know a lot of personal details from almost everyone I meet; from the waitress at the cafe, to the present of corporations. When someone shares personal things with you, it means that they, to a small amount, trust you. Turning personal items against someone, is a sure way to hurt them.

When a personal friend, lover, or mate turns agains you and uses personal information to do so it hurts - and it can hurt a lot.

Everyone is due some respect.

JR

Its not disrespectful to pry into their personal life. If they didnt share personal information or if you didnt share personal information than you dont need to worry about someone using it to hurt you, right, why would they or you want to expose yourself to someone whom he admits he just met. I could see if this was his regular and he had been seeing her for years. You can paint it anyway you want to but this is a business, not digging into someones personal life it not being disrepectful, treating this as a business does not also mean that you have to be mean and inpersonal. To try and make that case if crazy. For the life of me I am not sure how you can say treating it as a business is disrespectful, please please enlighten me. Thats the problem with the hobby these days, two many are blurring the lines and treating this as some kind of match making enterprise and its all good until the reality comes into play and then their on here crying about how they got ripped off or you have a provider crying about a stalker. I guess us old timers know not to look for love in all the wrong places.

MOCHAakaMOCHA · 09-30-2013, 07:56 PM

It's rare I don't get asked about it ...... not if I do

lol

PleasantSurprise · 09-30-2013, 10:26 PM

Dondo,

It's tempting to jump in and say what the hell were you thinking asking the questions you did!!! However, before assuming you were getting too personal, I must ask.....

What are a few of the questions you asked of this unnamed provider?

PS

Ps. I like that you left her name unmentioned.

Helicopter206 · 10-01-2013, 11:46 AM

This is a great post, no provider will write a book.
Because they only see 3 or 4 guys a week, most NC/NS,
So the book would be called
The hard times of being an Escort.
I'm only in this for the Sex.
I can only work 3 weeks out of the month.
He was fat, nasty, and smelled like ass, but I took his money anyway.
A different hotel every nigh.
A different town, but same routine.
I don't have daddy issues.
Pimps I don't need a pimp, but my boyfriend is close by.
Snatch and grab, running down the hall of a hotel while a naked man chases.
Where all the cheap hotels are located in every city.
How to really get a cheap hotel room.
Trade or not to Trade for services.
How to get a client to leave after the appointment is over.
A mans Length; does it really matter "hell yes"
Should the client pay by the inch "hell yes"
Scheduling is a work of art, or pain in the ass.
I only see the first client that makes it to the door first.
Over booking it happens.
I need help paying my bills can you please help, I'll pay you back.
Tumbleweed, rolling from place to place.
In jail can you come bail me out, I'll pay you back, any way you want.
A lonely girl in a hotel room.
Friends on a hooker site, what kind of drama could this start.
Providers working together, that bitch got more then me.
My likes; toys, candy, clothes, shoes, cologne, flowers, a great meal, trips, and you better bring cash fucker.
Dislikes just you; changed my mind depends on cash in hand.
What's an escort to do?
How mush should an Escort pay in taxes.
Watching TV while fucking, what do you watch?
What's the craziest thing you have done to someone or had done to you?

Are there any other Titles for a hooker book that you can think of?
Just a little board, can you tell.

pmdelites · 10-01-2013, 04:37 PM

Dondo7,
imho, asking a provider you've recently met about "the details of her life in this hobby" is weird and instrusive. maybe after you've consulted with her for several meetings, but first meeting?? i wouldnt do that.
i might ask who introduced her [if that's kinda known from posts] or how's she doing. but not about her hobby experiences or her life or any personal or intimate details.

Quote:

Originally Posted by JRLawrence

Hay dog,
Just because it is business, doesn't mean that it is not also personal. ... When someone shares personal things with you, it means that they, to a small amount, trust you. Turning personal items against someone, is a sure way to hurt them.
...
Everyone is due some respect.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dirty dog

Its not disrespectful to pry into their personal life. ... You can paint it anyway you want to but this is a business - not digging into someones personal life is not being disrepectful. treating this as a business does not also mean that you have to be mean and inpersonal. ... I guess us old timers know not to look for love in all the wrong places.

it might not be "business" (*), but it is a transaction based situation. so, it's a kind of "business."
and conversations can move into the "personal" area. just be careful when you do, ...
"but dont ask me what i think of you.
I might not give the answer that you want me to." ... or that you want to hear!!
Oh Well by Fleetwood Mac.
http://www.lyricsfreak.com/f/fleetwo..._20054439.html

(*) business http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/business?s=t

JRLawrence · 10-01-2013, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dirty dog

.... I could see if this was his regular and he had been seeing her for years....

Sorry, I wasn't implying anything.

A lot of my business relations have been with me for many years, they keep coming back.

Likewise, I have had the same attorney and CPA for decades. The girls that I see, I tend to keep seeing. More often than me changing, the ladies seem to retire or move. When I visit the same restaurant nearly every week for thirty years, I get to know the people who work there.

JR

Saintliest · 10-01-2013, 07:23 PM

I've gotten to know a few providers personal details. For me, whether at a strip club or an escort, politeness rules. I've shared friends with one...grew up in nearby towns...and when negative things were happening in her life that was shared on this board...it affected me greatly. I had another who shared other personal details of her life and we stayed in touch for awhile....though I haven't heard from her recently. I'm not saying I know their life story...but on the flipside they trusted me with the info they gave me.

bartipero · 10-01-2013, 10:57 PM

Really, the answer is 'it depends.' Some people are more comfortable than others and the answers not the same for everyone. Blondie B summed it up and others expanded on it--curiosity. If you have gotten to know the person, and they are willing, and trustworthy, then talk about it, both sides of the equation. But it can be like staring at the person with a severe disability. Conventional wisdom is it's rude, but sometimes rapport is rapid. There is no one size fits all, so go with convention and carefully judge the exceptions. The title of the thread is the title of the book. Chapter One is this thread.