Quote:
Originally Posted by Hercules
And her first question would be "why the hell are you looking at hookers in the first place?"
She should come clean before things get serious.
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if you want her to "come clean" about her providing, then the guy should also "come clean" about his hobbying.
what's good for the gander is good for the goose!!!
otherwise, the balance is not there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bored@home
EW has the most insight to our inner struggle toward love and sex. It would take some characteristic that I am unfamiliar with to be able to get past the secret being exposed. If it was known up front before the feelings developed then that would be something else entirely.
Just imagine the change in context of before and after when being told about an especially hectic ball busting day at work.
Now to mess with the mind grapes a little; provider meets a nice guy outside of work, falls in love yada yada..has that sense of monogamy. Then finds out he is an avid reviewer on a site like this and has more "ok's" than you have ever granted in your career. Does the relationship shift or do you feel duped?
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see, there's the other side of the coin. one should accept that a guy has had one or more girlfriends prior to the relationship.
if the guy has also been cavorting w/ providers and lies to the woman [provider or not], then he's not open or honest. he doesnt have to be explicit, but he can say "yes, i've done that."
i agree, you dont want to be telling your girlfriend "oh. btw, i've been w/ a lot of providers who CIMNQNS, double w/ their best friends, and will let me fuck her in any place i want"...
but, if a provider girlfriends asks, you should let her know, yes, you hobby.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bowdown2me
Oh and btw she is jealous and dont want you bangin any other chics..
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then that is a whole different story.
it depends on what the arrangement is - open or closed relationship.
if the guy commits to her and quits hobbying and she's still jealous, end of relationship.
either you're confident in who you are and can accept who he is or you're not.
if the guy commits to her, says he'll quit hobbying and continues hobbying, i can see where she's justified to end the relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OldGrump
The hardest part to accept would be the deception. And damned if we aren't all guilty of that.
To get to the point of emotional involvement with something like that still "under cover" makes you wonder if the openness required of a serious commitment exists.
Elizabeth knows men. We over analyze relationship problems to death. That kills the relationship.
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i was just talking w/ a provider a few weeks ago about this. the guy wanting to take her out in a real world relationship also contacted her for an appt/session.
i suggested - if you want to pursue a real world relationship, dont accept the appt. you dont need to tell him about provider, but dont lie if he asks. and if he does, ask him about his hobyying. his reply will tell you about his character - open to sharing or hiding his life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bowdown2me
Definitely oldgrump, and that is my point exactly.... once feelings get involved its hard to accept the fact that she is someone you never knew... and all the feelings feel like they are in vain...
Someone presents theirselves to be one person when all along they was/are someone completely different...
AH... THE CONSEQUINCES OF LIES... DETROY MORE THAN JUST EMOTIONS...
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but there are so many things that we dont know about the people we enter into relationships with.
because they didnt tell us upfront that they loved to lick the ice cream bucket is a reason we should end the relationship?
either you like her and can accept who she is or you cant.
and if you cant, then end the relationship.
but not because she didnt tell you everything. did you tell her everything?
Quote:
Originally Posted by bowdown2me
Now I started this thread for a reason, I am speaking from experience and I am a hobbiest, and I am totally fine with this profession, and I am a very open minded person...
My problem is with the deception had honesty been number one from the beginning things would have been great, and I did propose marriage and she excepted... but of coarse the lies made me rethink and reconsider, I choose to walk away... FOR THAT REASON ALONE, I dont mind sharin my toys as long as we both are happy in the end...
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if she just never told you upfront or on her own that she's a provider, that's pretty understandable.
but if she
lied about being a provider, that's another thing.
so, what did she do - not tell you or lie about it?
