Why the small talk?

[Jewish Lawyer]

To some guys, talking to a pretty girl is a real thrill, and they will push it as far as they can. To a certain extent, providers and strippers are a fantasy of what men want about women, and they are fascinating for a lonely guy to talk to and interact with. Just gently lead them in the direction they really want to go. If they have no money, ignore them.
All businesses have tire kickers. When people meet me in social situations they are always trying for free advice. Some people like the role of customers and getting served. I'm sure in this line of work, a girl meets all sorts of losers and wierdos, some can handle them better than others.

[samantha thom]

This is why I only use e-mail. My phone is only on a few minutes before appointment. I don't have time to answer calls/text with guys all day long. I won't be able to have a life or get anything done.

[EmilyEzzell]

You asked for suggestions on how ladies handle this without seeming rude? I think we all handle it differently. You can choose how you want to do it. Gents can choose whether they want to meet you based on how you respond.

I don't post my phone number. I give it out once I screen a gentleman. I don't mind talking to him since he has enough interest to go through screening. It reduces the chance of the gent being a time waster if he is willing to be screened before a phone conversation takes place.

I think the gents who aren't time wasters may want to hear a ladies voice and hear her personality. It may calm his nerves. It may be part of his screening a lady.

I know of ladies who ask the gent to call her after she screens them and before they meet. It helps these ladies feel comfortable.

I don't know how ladies (who post their number) handle random phone calls. Discern who has interest in meeting and who is just goofing around.

As for gents who ask for bbfs over the phone or in person. Just say no, politely. They ask because some ladies will do it. When it irritates you, vent with a provider friend.

[firelips]

Dtexbaby why not only give out your phone # AFTER you have made the appt. I'd be tempted to text you just to say hi after seeing your pics!

[gpws4cfit]

If I cant talk to you then I cant screen you, if I cant screen you then I dont see you....pretty simple....

If you cant talk to me for more than 2min then I bet your sessions will be mechanical and poor IOP/GFE

[Guest092216]

Originally Posted by gpws4cfit

If I cant talk to you then I cant screen you, if I cant screen you then I dont see you....pretty simple....

If you cant talk to me for more than 2min then I bet your sessions will be mechanical and poor IOP/GFE

Nothing against a short convo but I thought she was asking about how to deal with time wasters. You sir, are nooooo time waster!!

[pfmtony]

Maybe I can shed a little light on this for some ladies. We want to chat a bit and see what sort of lady you are. I never ask about menu or pricing. I just want the small stuff at first. Personality and being sweet and nice goes a long way. If you are a bitch on the phone, I won't waste time bothering to come see you. I just got a short rude PM that said "im not newbie friendly." To me she could've stopped at non friendly. I did thank her for the reply and wish her a nice day though. She probably lost out on a hell of a nice regular. I'm seriously only looking for one to two girls to see often. I wanted to call her a bitch, but I took the high road. You can also bet once I have references, I still won't contact her.

[oldbutstillgoing]

Been thinking about the OPs question of avoiding time wasters. No great answers, but some things I would take into consideration if I was on your side of the equation. Some of these are the same things I use to evaluate a provider I am considering.

Did he follow your preferred choice of contact? Email, PM, etc? If you told him to contact you a different way, is he doing that? IE: Can he follow instructions?

Is he polite and respectful?

If this is a small talk, getting to know you communication, are the subjects about sex, your menu, etc or are they more generic, how are you doing questions? Does he only talk about himself or does he seem interested in you? Are the questions invasive or simple things you might discuss with a casual acquaintance?

How often is he contacting you? Does he seem to be upset if you don’t reply very quickly?

Is he articulate?

Has he indicated a desire to actually have a session and in what time frame?

Does he answer any questions you have for him?

I would think a couple of back and forth would be enough for a legit potential client. You might also consider asking him to meet you in chat on ECCIE or create a handle on one of the messaging services like MSN messenger, etc. I have decided to meet several ladies after chatting a few times in chat. It is quick and easy and allows real time communications.

I hope some of that helps. If you can get the knack of doing this and avoiding most of the time wasters, it can generate some very good customers.

[OldGrump]

A few email or PM exchanges break the ice and determine if there is a connection. Not romantic, just compatibility. This may not apply to those guys who can just stick it in a hole and finish happily.

A phone call is an immediate demand on time and should be to confirm (briefly) your impression and make an appointment. In respect for those you are calling, it should be kept brief unless you are encouraged to continue.

But I'm old and have a carry-over of etiquette I can't seem to shake.

[Chung Tran]

some providers seem to take a second PM as a waste of time... several times I have pm'd someone for information, and get a fine response...but when I ask for more detail, indicating I am interested, after receiving the initial response? nothing.... no response. maybe some providers have a one PM limit, if you don't book after one PM, you are written off as a time-waster?

[Ol'blue eyes]

I really don't need to add my $0.2 worth. Below are my exact sentiments. I don't care if your a 15 on a 10 scale. Anymore, if i don't have a feel for you, i'm not interested. I have skipped several that I wanted to see because of poor PM skills and what I took as a lack of interest on the providers part.

repl

Originally Posted by OldButStillGoing

For many the IOP is important. Small talk helps develop the GFE feeling as well. GFE is more than just a list of activities. How can you act like my GF if you dont know anything about me at all? Or don't even care to take the time to get to know me a little? Getting to know the lady through small talk helps develop a connection. I for one have no desire to walk in and fuck a total stranger. Learn to fill the needs of your customers and you wilI do better. If your not willing to engage me in small talk so I can get to know you better odds are you will never see any of my money.

As to BBFS, lots of ladies do it. Many who say they don't. I guess guys who want that have so little respect for themselves or others that they really don't care if you get pissed at the request or not. They just want what they want and will ask till they get it. After all, if you say no, they aren't going to see you anyway.

[Guest092216]

Originally Posted by Chung Tran

some providers seem to take a second PM as a waste of time... several times I have pm'd someone for information, and get a fine response...but when I ask for more detail, indicating I am interested, after receiving the initial response? nothing.... no response. maybe some providers have a one PM limit, if you don't book after one PM, you are written off as a time-waster?

No not at all in my opinion. Like I said, a little banter at first is fine. But the twenty questions is what constitutes a time waster. I Dont mind a phone call or two either but when it crosses the line it crosses the line. Where the OP or any lady draws that line is completely up to them. It really depends on the time, availability of a lady.

As far as friendships and emotional attachments.....hmmmm, that is definitely a ymmv issue for anyone just like our real lives. I dont get emotionally involved bc that is what I'm paid for imho. The currency is objective and easily measurable in the hobby rather than subjective and not easily measurable in real world real ionships; what one person considers a big investment of themselves the other person may not and that is what leads to hurt feelings and DRAMA. I respect and appreciate emotional boundaries which is why I love what I do. No one has ever remarked that I am mechanical or insincere so apparently I do ok with regard to IOP starting at the session. I'm a business woman and I enjoy my business very VERY MUCH!!!

[oldbutstillgoing]

In fairness to thathotnurse, let me clarify one thing I said ealier. IOP can indeed start when the guy walks in the door. And face to face interaction is the easiest and best way to do so. Based on her reviews and comments by others, she appears to be a great lady and a great provider.

The point I was making is its not the only time or way to develop a great IOP. Development of IOP can start with the very first contact. Banter in chat, comments in a PM or email, or what and how it is said on the phone. Every communications can be used to increase that feeling, desire, that the encounter will be great and give that Illiusion of Passion that for some of us can be the difference between a ho hum session and one that has us weak at the knees just thinking about it and how soon we can be back for another.

There was a lady who I could not see for several weeks after meeting her. But she would text me every few days and had me thinking of our encounter till it was driving me nuts. I saw her several times a month for over a year as a result.

As a provider, if you can increase your ability to create IOP sooner and to a higher level, you will have guys who are looking for that standing in a very long line waiting to see you.

[gpws4cfit]

Originally Posted by thathottnurse

Nothing against a short convo but I thought she was asking about how to deal with time wasters. You sir, are nooooo time waster!!

lol nope you know that for a fact!

I think it also depends on how much info is readily available about said provider, if she has a website, ECCIE profile, reviews, ECCIE adds/posts, P411, I dont need to talk much on the phone bc I can get a feel for what kind of person she is and determine if we will click well or not. BUTT If she is new, or has only one or two reviews and has no adds or websites, or is only on BP then yes- talking/texting/PMing is a must to screen. Im not talking about yacking her ear off for 25min but at least 5min and several texts are needed and it may be over the course of a few days...

PS you can find a lot of good info about an ECCIE member by: Profile>Statistics>find all posts/threads...


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[lily blake]

Originally Posted by OldGrump

A few email or PM exchanges break the ice and determine if there is a connection. Not romantic, just compatibility. This may not apply to those guys who can just stick it in a hole and finish happily.

A phone call is an immediate demand on time and should be to confirm (briefly) your impression and make an appointment. In respect for those you are calling, it should be kept brief unless you are encouraged to continue.

But I'm old and have a carry-over of etiquette I can't seem to shake.

This is exactly how I feel, this is not the time for you to tell me how big your penis is. I can't count how many times somone has told me thier penis size over the phone.