Going back in time....?

[rockerrick]

Unfortunately with the oldest profession , comes the oldest prejudice as well . I don't look down on any of us , life is too short not to try and make yourself happy .

[JustJane]

Thank you all so much for the love and support!

My biggest issue right now is the judge. He has depositions from two lying sacks of shit (and I have proof of their lies), and he knows about my profession, so in his eyes, I could never be a good mother. But I am the only parent they've had for the last three years! The children and I moved into our home when my son was only 3 months old and my daughter was 5 years old. The ex has visited a two or three times each year, but never more than 3 weeks during any given visit. One visit was only 5 days. He only started calling and Skyping with them AFTER he filed for divorce (back in May) to make himself look like a concerned and caring father. My children don't know him. He didn't watch my son take his first steps. He didn't teach my daughter how to ride a bike. He missed my son's first birthday. He's missed 4 of my daughter's birthdays. Hell, he's missed my birthday every year since we moved back to Texas (and he wonders why it didn't work out???). He's missed Christmas and Easter and Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July and Halloween too many times to count.

But hey, he paid the bills and called me twice a day every day (possessive much?) and that's supposed to have been good enough.

And the worst part? It'll be good enough for the judge, and my children will be taken away from the only parent they know. All because of my job.

I feel like I'll be trying to reason with people who are incapable of logical thought.

[rockerrick]

It's obvious that you are not ashamed of what you do ( nor should you be ) , and I'm guessing you have no desire to quit . Have you considered disabling your accounts , taking a few weeks off , and starting again with new handles ( separate handle for p411 ) so that your info cannot be googled . Then you could point out that was your past . I know starting over would suck , but you have enough people that know you to help re establish your new info by word of mouth . I know you want to stand up to this , but it might be something to consider .

[JustJane]

Honestly Rick, it won't matter in the eyes of the court, which is why I haven't quit, or pulled my handles, etc. I am proud of who I am and what I do. If I had any other job (well, besides stripper), I wouldn't consider quitting and changing professions just because I was going through a divorce. Why should I hide who I am? When people ask me, "what do you do?" I tell them I'm an escort. I am usually met with a look of awe and a "really? do you like it?" and the women get this look on their face that tells me they'd like to try it just once. And you know what? Not ONCE has anyone ever said, "Well, you must be a horrible mother then!" The masses may say they disapprove, but individually it's a completely different story.

[rockerrick]

So true , stand tall ! Don't know of anything to help , but if you think of anything , let me know . If you just need to chat or whatever ! Try to stay positive , and don't let it get you too down ( as much as possible ) .

[Still Looking]

Divorce Sucks! And I have a very short fuse when it comes to men hitting woman!

[Guest021716-4]

Jane,

I won't discuss my horror story on this on open board, but I will say this. I stood up and it cost me greatly. YOU will not change the judges mind. Don't be a martyr unless you are ready for the big possibility of losing custody or him having all the power. Judges more often times rule in favor of the abuser. Yup, that's right. They do not side on that of the battered woman. Don't believe me? I want to take you to lunch. YOU HAVE TO play the fucking game to win YOUR CHILDREN. That means doing and saying alot of things you don't want to FOR YOUR CHILDREN. You need a lawyer who knows wtf they are doing. I would hug you right now if I could. I am so sorry you are gong tthru this. Pm coming and alot of resources coming your way.

[Guest021716-4]

PS. I agree with much trees has to say!!! Right on spot.

[Guest021716-4]

And heaven forbid it doesn't go in your favor now. I truly believe it will be short lived. You will prevail

[bueller22]

Jane. I am also frustrated for you. It's not a fair situation. I would urge you not to focus on these kind of thoughts that will only frustrate and upset you. I'm sure there are some good forums on the web that you can read about others in your situation and get advice and the benefit of their experience. Also, trees and rocker, I think, had some good suggestions.

[Still Looking]

People outside of a situation seem to clearly know what to do or at least what they would do! We always try and get from Point A to point B. There is ALWAYS a price to pay to make the journey and more often than not people just don't want to pay the price. Certainly doesn't stop them from wanting to get there!

[GneissGuy]

Jane, let me caution you to not say anything here that would help out your husband's case. Don't give them any clues about how you're going to proceed, or anything that would make you look bad to the judge if he sees it.

Assume the bad guys are reading it looking for things to help out their case.

This whole thread might be a bad idea in general.

Remember that the rules of evidence are different in divorce cases and you're not "innocent until proven guilty," and there's no "shadow of a doubt" standard, either.

[GoForWillard]

Originally Posted by Still Looking

I have a very short fuse when it comes to men hitting woman!

+ 1

Takes a big man to hit a woman. There is N O T H I N G a woman could do to me to deserve my physical wrath!

[GoForWillard]

Good Luck, Jane.

I have to agree with Gneiss. Be careful what you post here.

[Poet Laureate]

With apologies to Trees and all who agree, DO NOT try to represent yourself. Family law is too complex and you don't know the ins and outs. The judge is already predisposed not to like you, so don't give him the chance to railroad you into something that even an average attorney could prevent.
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It's time for some radical thought. If you're the person I think you are, there's nothing that you wouldn't do for your children. Repeat: There's nothing that you wouldn't do for your children. Hold that thought and read on.
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In one fell swoop you can:
A. Remove the stigma of earning your living illegally;
B. Guarantee that you can continue to make your living as you see fit;
C. Greatly enhance the possibility of keeping custody of your kids; and
D. Guarantee that someone will pay attention to your concerns about your soon-to-be ex.
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Here's what you do, with apologies to everyone here who cares about you:
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MOVE TO NEVADA! There are about a dozen counties there in which what you do is legal. Take the kids and go. No warning, no asking permission, just go. Find a good lawyer there and fight from over a thousand miles away. It gives you great leverage.
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I know it sounds drastic, but think about it. How can anyone gripe about how you make a living if what you do is legal? They can't. You remove the biggest gun in their arsenal.
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Think about it. It really is an elegant solution. And Austin will still be here for you to visit.