Review: A Peek Behind The Curtain - A Hobbyist's Session With His SO

[Sport0728]

Have you ever noticed how many married women are out looking for strange? There is a good chance she is getting hers on the side too.

[Say What]

Originally Posted by Neotek

Dude, stop your bitch ass whining. The providers are well ahead of the game when it comes to knowing whats up with you lame ass cuddle feckers.

Stop cheating on your feckin' wife and work on improving your marriage. If that doesn't work, divorce her. And don't give me any of your "BlahBlahBlah" about kids and losing half your shit. You picked her. Man up and deal with the fallout.

Oh, and I need your SO's contact info. I'm sure two hours of PSE with me and my girlfriend will fix her up. And I won't even charge you. Merry feckin' Xmas!

I'm out!

You sound like a complete douche! If I actually had an SO...she would love you. Please stay out!

Originally Posted by Sophia Dane

I remember you said you were busy Wednesday, but WOW! I had no idea! LMAO!

Maybe you can try playing some soft piano music next time!

No way! Soft piano music is OUR thing.

Originally Posted by AsianSpice

You didn't get your way so you wrote a bad review about her?? Just move one!

This should be the review of the year and be a sticky thread to serve as a warning for all single guys not to get married!
[/CENTER]

Yeah, there were some sour grapes involved. The price-to-performance ratio just wasn't there for me.

Originally Posted by Cityjazz

Outstanding effort, SW! Good to see a guy with a sense of humor and a willingness to share his experiences, whatever they may be!!

Well, thank you. It's not quite as exciting as you bouncy-ball dildo contest, but it was fun to write.

[VIP Mya Michelle]

I'd be a grateful wife especially not working, could just work out all week and maintain my beautiful house, i hope i find a husband to give me all that one day... and best believe i am gonna screw his brains outs.

$500k home, $65 SUV, 75% of what I earn, and the bitch will take half of my retirement even though she never worked.

[pyramider]

I wonder what the wife's review would be like? A great number of providers were wives prior to providers.

[Papacorn]

Wife's review would surely be titled "Monthly Duty Fuck" and focus on the endless 8 minutes, the gall off her husband to expect her to put out except on his birthday, and the concern that she was missing something really good on Facebook .

I too have issues with snowsuit wearing spouse, and will ask if she is trying to look as Unattractive as possible ? Lol

Thank god for hobby and income!

[AMP Surfer]

That was too funny SW even tho it may be true...unfortunately. But thanks for the humorous post it was priceless. Can't wait to read BlahBlahBlah's version now. LOL

[Say What]

Originally Posted by Lolabrea01

I also don't believe this interaction... why would you brush your teeth twice?? ooohhhh busted!!! inconsitency! lol jk!! (sarcasm)

Lola,

Lol...you might be on to me.

I decided to brush my teeth a second time ONLY so I could watch her slip something in and out of her mouth repeatedly and then spit. It's the married woman's version of BBBJCIMNQBS.

[Keyser Soze LLC]

What.....no pics with this funny ass review

[Kendall4U]

Poor guy. Thank goodness you have your Hobby Allowance! Lots of ladies here that would be more than willing to put a smile on your face and a spring in your step.

[fletch]

Say What - that is some funny shit my man, funny shit.

Thanks for spreading X-mas cheer... hoe, hoe hoe.

[Sugar Mr. Poon?]

Hilarious. The 1930's Olympic Track uniform line slayed me. Good stuff.

[Ramjet]

Married to a bum fuck (hobo sexual) the only sign of an "O" is when she drops her nail file while screaming out "The ceiling needs painting again, followed with "Hurry, I've made reservations for dinner." I was told if it wasn't that 'thing' between their legs, there would be a bounty on most of them."

This version of the opposite sex I hope to never being with.

"Run Forrest, run!"

[Spikebaby]

HEEEEEEEESTERICAL!

Spikebaby

[slowmover]

It mirrors my experience with her.

[ManSlut]

Originally Posted by pyramider

I wonder what the wife's review would be like? A great number of providers were wives prior to providers.

I'm glad you asked pyramider, and being that I am personally TCB BCD with Mrs. BlahBlahBlah this is her point of view of 'FatFuck' that has come out in past 'pillow talk' between BBBJ's....Her Side Of The Story...

When I first met my Hubby a.k.a. The FatFuck he was slim & trim, funny and showered me with attention during our courtship. But, after marriage it was just like the comedian said to his friend who had just gotten his marriage license -

C: So when you got your marriage license did they also give you the book?
F: Book? What book?
C: The one titled 'SHIT THAT'S GONNA CHANGE!!'

Well, it didn't take long for the shit to change...My 180 lb. slim athletic man turned into 280 lb 'FatFuck', and he has the audacity to make comments of my 30 lb gain. His way of showering me with attention is playing golf with the 'Boys' every weekend (thank god for this, explain later), flopping down on his ever growing ASS as soon as he walks in the door during the week till it's time to go to bed.

Ahh, the bedroom, a woman's heaven right, someone should tell FatFuck the 8 minute WonderBoy that!! It's more like The Torture Chamber because that's what it's like with FatFuck, torture. Now FatFuck was never a '60 Minute Man' in the beginning, more like 30 and some change, but he's never understood sex is like what the comedian Robin Williams says, "Sex is like eating Chinese food. It ain't over till you both get your fortune cookie !!". What is it with men like FatFuck that because they can pop out 4 kids they think they are the Fucks Of The Century...News flash to all the FatFucks of the world, "We can get pregnant without orgasming much less enjoying it!"

Well, it wasn't too long into the marriage I realized FatFuck was probably fucking around with hookers or someone at work. Thank God for the Girls Night Out Therapy Group. They confirmed my suspicions and how to handle Big Chief Pencil Dick or Little Boy Pink (my other names for FatFuck). What I learned from the Girls is a Dog will always be a Dog but you are the Master and I could either Lorena Bobbitt the PencilDick FatFuck or cut him off and get and keep what I want.

Now I'm having the sex of my life 3-5 times a week with Peter the Pilates instructor, Enrique my Salsa teacher, and my ATF ManSlut the cucumber section lurker... Life is good, I got the house, the car, the gold cards, don't work, and lest any man forget 'ALL THE PUSSY' only 8 minutes every 3rd Weds of the month for FatFuck and Birthdays...It doesn't get any better than that unless he wants a DIVORCE or a vasectomy, Lorena Bobbitt style.


Enjoyed the thread...Happy Holidays to All